(Closed) Open and Cash Bar…. wording?

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 32
Member
4886 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

@nerdface:  A wedding is not a dinner party.  Guests are being treated to cocktails during cocktail hour and dinner.  That is generous enough.

Everyone’s allowed to have an opinion around here, but I think you should be a little more open minded and less abrasive, especially considering the OP wasn’t asking at all if she should have open or cash bar. 

Post # 33
Member
271 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Agree with kristengettingmarried

Post # 34
Member
2739 posts
Sugar bee

Ugh people! The lady specifically did not ask your opinions on cash bars. Please keep your opinions to yourself if you can’t help her with the questions she asked. I bet you she didn’t think the etiquette police was going to come and lecture her on how to host her wedding. She didn’t ask you, and honestly, if she’s spent more than a month on this site, she knows the cash bar vs. open bar vs. limited bar vs. dry bar debate so please spare her. And if you think that this post is refering to you, then it is.

To the OP, I agree with the previous posters. Spread by word of mouth and then put it on your site. Honestly, word of mouth is going to work best and you’ll see that lots of people will come prepared. Have a happy wedding day!

Post # 35
Member
311 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

@nerdface: Maybe you missed my point. It isn’t a direct comparison.

I bring a gift to a wedding to welcome them to their new life. Not to compensate cost. I also bring cash as I don’t expect my drinks to be paid for just because they are starting their new life. If they can have an open bar, great. Otherwise, I don’t expect to have drinks on their tab just because they wanted me to be there to celebrate their love commitment. A wedding invitation is NOT a dinner party invitation.

Same as I don’t expect someone to pay for my drinks at a dinner party. I’ll bring enough to AT LEAST cover my consumption, and better yet they have some leftover as a ‘gift’, along with whatever food, flowers, or else was brought to thank the person for their hospitality.

Post # 36
Member
3277 posts
Sugar bee

@KristenGotMarried:“a wedding is not a dinner party” 

A reception that includes dinner, has the exact same hosting requirements as a dinner party in your home.  It is on a much grander scale but the duties of the host remain the same. 

 

@bRooklynRocks: “Please keep your opinions to yourself if you can’t help her with the questions she asked”

She asked a question about etiquette on an etiquette forum, she really should have expected people to answer  with the correct etiquette for the situation, which is there is no polite way to convey an impolite message.


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