Post # 1
Member
301 posts
Helper bee
ok… so here in the south (delta) open bar is considered expected and i came across a board the other day (from a while ago i believe) that said that open bar is considered tacky in their area?? which is so funny cause here cash bars here are considered a huge faux pas. and god knows, if somebody remembers something from your wedding if you have a cash bar that’s the only thing they will remember. so… i look forward to see what different parts of the US think. 🙂
Post # 3
Member
477 posts
Helper bee
not sure if it’s a regional thing. my family always provided alcohol . my brother’s wedding in san diego was open bar. mine in las vegas was also open bar. but i noticed that some people are no longer providing all of the alcohol for their guests when they are paying per drink or per hour. many venues used to allow bringing in alcohol.
Post # 4
Member
7573 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
I don’t think Ihave ever heard of it being considered tacky to host an open bar. Maybe it was a religious area or something? otherwise even if it wasn’t the norm (and cash bars were) I would think guests would find it novel and great rather than tacky!
In my circle cash bar is a big faux pas but in my region cash bars (for spirits) is becoming the norm.
Post # 5
Member
737 posts
Busy bee
Tacky to host an open bar?–Ha!!
Here in NYC an open bar is expected. Never been to a cash bar or dry wedding.
Post # 6
Member
4394 posts
Honey bee
That’s so weird. I want to do a cash bar because I hate when people get out of control drunk. Unless its me from my college years haha. But I’m afraid people will be pissed!
Post # 7
Member
7439 posts
Busy Beekeeper
Canadian chipping in.
From what I’ve seen this is definitely a regional thing.
Also dependent upon WHAT booze costs, or IF a venue’s license allows the Clients to stock the Bar (by buying bottles on your own or from the venue… with a sell-back / credit clause), or if you are forced to pay the going rate (highend) for a drink at the venue. Here that can easily run $ 7 to $ 10 (or more) PER POUR.
So with 100 Guests and say 5 Drinks per Guest over the course of the festivities (6 PM to Midnight) and that could easily work out in the neighbourhood of $ 5000 PLUS Taxes & Fees (minimum 13%) PLUS TIPS (minimum 15%) for a whopping MINIMUM of $ 6400 just for alcohol.
Consequently, most of the weddings that I’ve gone to here in Ontario, in the last 30 or so years, do not have an unlimited OPEN BAR. Many may have a designated Cocktail Hour, a Champagne Toast, or even bottles of wine on the tables (at my first wedding we did all 3).
Generally speaking, Guests are quite appreciative of such things… but realize that once “the party” gets humming after dinner, that there will be a CASH BAR.
Provinces where the Liquor Laws are more lax for venues (private rentals / party permits), or out in the countryside away from the big cities, then YES there may be more incentive for Clients to organize this aspect of their Reception, without incurring the same high costs that apply elsewhere.
PS… Have never seen HAVING an Open Bar to be tacky. Have however known that “in some circles” (ie Military Families) NOT HAVING ONE is seen as in poor taste… but then again, a lot of those weddings I’ve been to have been held at the Officers Mess where the going rate for a standard pour is just a few dollars… so a HUGE difference, in cash outlay for the Client.
Post # 8
Member
777 posts
Busy bee
I don’t think I’ve ever been to a wedding with a cash bar, but SO and I aren’t really drinkers (plus SO has medication that shouldn’t be mixed with alcohol anyway) so we’re actually talking a dry wedding. I’m kinda torn cause I wanted at least a champagne toast, but I dunno we’re still early in our planning anyway… gotta decide a venue before we talk alcohol lol
Post # 9
Member
246 posts
Helper bee
Cash bar is pretty common among my church. Either that or only providing enough booze for 2 drinks per person.
I think about it like this…this is the biggest party I will be hosting in my entire life. When I have people over for dinner, I provide appetizers, dinner, dessert and drinks (alcoholic and non). My guests don’t pay for anything unless they ask “What can I bring?” and then I make a suggestion of something small like a bottle of wine or some chips and salsa.
When I invite people to my wedding, people aren’t going to ask what to bring because what’s expected of them is to bring a gift. Therefore, my guests shouldn’t have to pay for anything at my reception. Drinks, Apps, dinner, dessert, drinks.
With that said, I, being the hostess (kind of) get to choose what’s on the menu, what the drinks are AND how much gets served. Sooooo when it runs out, it runs out. For that reason I think it’s perfectly acceptable to set a limit on your bar tab and make it cash when you run out.
Post # 10
Member
228 posts
Helper bee
I think it totally depends on the area. I grew up in a hillbilly town in the woods, and basically a cash bar is the norm there and nobody thinks anything of it. If you have an open bar, folks are like, WHOOOOOA they must have money LOL. But around where I live now, it’s the polar opposite. Folks are horrified with a cash bar and expect an open bar. IMO, you do what you can afford/want and it shouldn’t be anyone’s concern. 
Post # 11
Member
494 posts
Helper bee
- Wedding: February 2018 - Toronto, Ontario
in toronto ( Canada) its all about open bar, you must cater to the guests
Post # 12
Member
7111 posts
Busy Beekeeper
I don’t think either is tacky or offensive. Most weddings that I’ve been to have either a full open bar or free wine/beer and cash cocktails.
Post # 13
Member
17 posts
Newbee
i live in nj, and every single wedding ive ever been to has been open bar. my bf’s sister was considering doing a cash bar bc she didnt want to spend the money on an open one, and i didnt know what to say to her. she ended up having wine and beer only…….and no one wanted wine or beer. it was terrible.
just bite the bullet and do open bar. you only get married once or twice. do it big. if i went to a wedding with a cash bar, id rethink my gift (subtracting what i spent on drinks :P)
Post # 14
Member
301 posts
Helper bee
welp we ended up (in june) having an open bar and it only cost 1800. we had pinot noir, chard, pinot grigio, sav blanc, cab sav (my parents and their friends are big winos), 2 kegs of purple haze and sierra nevada. we had 75% of both kegs left and 0 wine left so we threw a pool party the next weekend at a friends house and let everyone drink for free again. cause were awesome.
ps- i just wrote on this to give people an idea on how to save money when it comes to alcohol cause i know and have seen people seriously eff up and get screwed on their bar ticket. the wine all came from costco and the kegs came from a local distributor and we had 150 people in the reception. we eventually ran out of pinot grigio during the first 45 minutes and i began to freak but no one else cared and they just drank something else!
Post # 15
Member
410 posts
Helper bee
I have never been to a wedding with a cash bar and it would definitely be frowned upon here.
Where I got married, alcohol is very expensive too. Easily US$15 for a simple cocktail but you just have to budget it in by either inviting less guests or limiting the kind of alcohol available (ie. red and white housewine only).
Post # 16
Member
2468 posts
Buzzing bee
We had a cash bar (they could cash OR use their credit cards and open a tab) at my wedding. We paid for the chapagne toast though. Noone complained and everyone drank. Plus our prices were super cheap. Honestly I didn’t care if it was tacky or not. My family and friends had fun no matter what.
Edit: We also didn’t want to have a dry wedding just because we couldn’t afford an extra $50 a head… I know my family and friends appreciated the fact that alcohol was availible to them.