(Closed) Open bar drama!?!

posted 5 years ago in Food
Post # 3
Member
1110 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I feel like your comment about not wanting to tell your Future Mother-In-Law how to spend her money hit the nail on the head.  If your Future Mother-In-Law is paying for the open bar, then I don’t think it’s really up to your father to decide if you have one, and how it will be run.  Especially if it will be cheaper to have the full open bar all night (hopefully I understand your post correctly in this).

Post # 4
Member
4284 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

It’s your wedding not your dads. If he isn’t paying for the alcohol, then it’s up to your Future Mother-In-Law to determine what she wants to pay for.

Post # 6
Member
155 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

why are you even talking to your dad about this. If he isn’t planning to pay for the bar than it’s none of his business how the bar tab is structured.

Post # 7
Member
2902 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

Its not your fathers wedding or your FMIL’s wedding but I understand the need for brides to keep the peace when planning a wedding. I actually think you have come to a great compromise already. Open bar for cocktail hour and beer, wine & soft drink for the rest of the night will keep 99% of the people happy.

Post # 8
Member
3943 posts
Honey bee

@alikat2014:  i was thinking of putting signs up that say drink responsibly and listing numbers for taxi services in the area.. I also plan on talking with all of our friends and telling them not to over do it.

I know your intentions are good, but I wouldnt hang up signs or talk to people about being responsible with drinking. Most adults know how to behave at a wedding and most have been to an event with open bar in the past.

In response to everything else, I say go ahead and have the open bar. It may not be important to you or your family, but its important to  your fiances family and it’s his wedding too.

Post # 9
Member
53 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

I agree that it should be your FMIL’s choice.  You could pass on your father’s feelings to her but in the end it should be her choice.  Also I really don’t think having an open bar will ruin your wedding.  I am a little worried about some people getting out of control at the wedding but I couldn’t imagine not having an open bar.  So while money isn’t the issue I think we’re going to go with well liquor vs top shelf.  There are a lot of people who will drink beer if there isn’t a specific liquor available ie Captain, Crown, Patron and other top shelf liquors. I also want everyone to be as safe as possible.  So I’m also going to put up a sign like you were thinking that says something like “Had too much fun? Call a cab”  and lists taxi numbers.  I think that way you are also promoting safe driving practices but you’re still allowing guests to have fun.  Good Luck with whatever you decide.

Post # 10
Member
3569 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

Even if you are a Daddy’s girl you should let him control all aspects of this wedding. If your Future Mother-In-Law is willing to pay for it, and your Fi and you want it, then you have to respectfully disagree with him.

Also there are precautions to take, you should post numbers for taxi somewhere as it is helpful. Also you can close the bard down an hour or 45 minutes before the last dance.

Post # 11
Member
3039 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Up until “The other thing is the full bar all night is $1200 dollars cheaper!” I was totally on your dads side – but if they charge that much more for less, no way that I would go with that! I think you should talk to your dad again, and tell him that you really don’t think it will be a problem as your friends will drink responsible.


Post # 13
Member
903 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Is there something wrong with a lot of your guests that has your dad thinking they’ll overindulge? I think it’s a little ridiculous to think that just because people are under 30, they don’t know how to handle alcohol. Most of my friends at my wedding were around 25 and no one got sloppy drunk.

Post # 15
Member
4803 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I’m assuming your dad’s concern is that people will get totally drunk and trashed. I would tell your dad that you’ll have a talk with the bartender about not overserving anyone, which is already part of their job and one they typically take very seriously, but that it is going to cost less and make your Future Mother-In-Law happy to have the open bar, and that as important as his opinion is to you, you also want to start off your relationship with her on a good note, so you’ve decided that the best plan is to have the open bar there but cut off anyone who may be getting drunk and to list information for cab companies for anyone who shouldn’t be driving.

Post # 16
Member
900 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

@alikat2014:  I think the most important thing here is that an open bar is something your fiance wants, nevermind his mother.  And since they both want it, and the Future Mother-In-Law is willing to pay for it, it must be very important to their family/how they have weddings.

If it’s important to your Fiance and his family, why is your dad trying to nix anything, if it doesn’t affect the things he’s paying for?

It’s time to stand up to your dad and tell him it’s your FI’s wedding too, he wants an open bar,  end of story.

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