(Closed) Open bar or Cash Bar – Vote

posted 9 years ago in Reception
  • poll: Should we have open bar or cash bar?

    Open Bar

    Cash Bar

    Subsidized Bar

  • Post # 133
    Member
    567 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

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    @maery1: OH! I understand. I think my venue is considering that “by consumption” Maybe not, I am not sure if that is even an option! But that is a pretty good idea. You have budgeted what you can and let everyone do the rest from there. Good solution! I am kind of hoping that may be an option for us. Meeting in October will decide that.

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    @bklynbridetobe: Agreeing with everyone! There is actually another thread on here that was trying to test this exact point. She opened it with “no debating on open bar vs cash bar!” HAHA And did a poll on whether people would prefer a cash bar or no bar. I bet you can guess which one won!

    Post # 134
    Member
    567 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    double post. ignore

    Post # 135
    Member
    1363 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2010

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    @Miss Tattoo: Do not listen to the people who say it isn’t proper or the stupid comparisons like “You wouldn’t invite someone to your house and make them pay for alcohol would you?” Uh…I don’t know about you, but I’ve never had 150 people at my house all at once.

    Being one of the people who used that comparison, I think it was a little harsh to call it “stupid”. Like PP said above, good hosting is good hosting.

    I will reiterate that wine and beer IS sufficient. I will not cry if I have to pay for a gin and tonic.

    However, stating that comparison is “stupid” is harsh. I guess my hubby and I were stupid for cutting our guest list so that everyone could be “pampered” rather than invite 200 people who would have to pay for their drinks?

    Also, an open bar is not an invitation to get sloshed. If your friends and family are that rude or immature, I doubt you would even invite them.

    OP, do what’s best for you. I just don’t use the word stupid to comment on what someone else has said on these boards, ever.

    Post # 136
    Member
    7298 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2012

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    @Just_Squeeze: I didn’t call you stupid. I called the comparison stupid. Having a wedding and a small dinner party are two different things. Unless you throw dinner parties for over 50 people all the time, then sure, use that comparison.

    I’m just sick of brides feeling like it’s the end of the world because some bees on the internet are telling them that they won’t be good hosts because they decided to go the cash bar route.

    Hey, if you cut your guest list just to be able to have open bar, that’s your choice, but everyone else shouldn’t be made to feel like they should go that route also.

    Some people can’t cut their guest list. My moms side of the family and dad’s side of the family combined are at least 150. I wouldn’t dream of cutting anyone just so that I can serve top shelf alcohol all night.

    Maybe it’s because I don’t think party=alcohol. Maybe it’s because I know my guests will be on the dance floor without having to need a drink first. Put the Electric Slide on at 9am and I know my family will jump over tables to dance to it.

    But like I said earlier, the people who are going to be snobby about it are going to be snobby about it.

    Post # 137
    Member
    567 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

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    @Just_Squeeze: I do get where you are coming from. But I truely think that it needs to be based on what the bride and groom can do. We simply cannot afford to do all the extras. Trust me, I would love to offer that for my guests, offer the finer dining options, have a more extravagent wedding, but I can’t. I am going to make my wedding with what we can do. I just graduated college, and fiance is trying to figure out what he wants to do with his career. We are paying for everything ourselves. I think it is tough when the “open bar” hosts (not saying this is your opinion, just a general observation) think that because I have to have a cash bar, I should cut everything else I am doing to do an open bar. If i cut guests, all our closest family wont be there. With not having anything really “extra” I would have to cut a photographer (who is already a high school friend and getting a great deal on) cut food, or music, or the cake. Obviously that isn’t going to happen. My dress won’t be more than $500. I refuse. We are not even going to have a videographer because they are just too pricey.

    Post # 138
    Member
    1363 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2010

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    @Miss Tattoo: Thanks for explaining!

    Don’t forget, some issues arise simply because it’s a cultural thing. You know the expression “Eat, drink and be merry?”. That’s pretty much our family motto even at Sunday dinners! (Again, no one has to get sloshed, it’s just the way it is. Pairing wine with your steak or fish. A little baileys in your coffee. It’s culinary more than “frat party”.)

     

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    @Future Couture: Yeah, that was our issue too. A lot of people didn’t make it the restaurant where we hosted for 23. But everyone was invited to our champagne reception after the ceremony. We struggled with the idea, got various input from various people and decided it was a good compromise.

    Once again, I have to state: I have no problem with those who DO choose a cash bar. We were THIS close to doing one ourselves. But then I dug deep and realized “that’s just not me!” Like I stated two pages ago, I love hosting!

    Post # 139
    Member
    35 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: June 2012

     

    Post # 140
    Member
    35 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    i’m more of a open bar person myself, i’ve never been to any other type wedding. this being said i do think that some people take offence to a cash bar. i’ve heard many other people complain that they have reserved a whole day, some have travelled, plus an outfit and a a big fat enveloppe!! they feel that drinks should be offered…

    i know that when i go to someone else wedding, it ends up costing me quite a bit of money and time, just as a guest. i think the generel idea is that if as a guest you put in let’s say 300$ for two people, you shouldn’t have to buy your own drinks.

    think of the money and time we, as brides, ask our familly/bridesmiads/guests to shell out just for our special day, i feel like it’s the least i can do for them.

     

    Post # 141
    Member
    567 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

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    @Just_Squeeze: Abolutely understandable. Truth be told, i would have eloped! HAHA. My fiance just has such a large family. Mine, not so much. And don’t talk to much to the family we do have. My mom is the “hostess” of the family. She would cook for 100 people any night of the week. She’s nuts! I guess i just didn’t get that gene from her 😉

    Post # 142
    Member
    629 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: April 2012

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    @Befrie: That’s pretty much how I feel. But I’m learning more and more, through comments of Bees, that it seems to be very regional, or perhaps family tradition. I say, in order to please your guests, do what is customary for your people. My family always has open bars, and we are a boisterous big Italian family. But many Bees say their families always have cash bars, so that would be more appropriate for them. All I know is that personally, I want my guests to have FUN, even if they want to get drunk, I don’t mind. We never get too outrageous, so I’m not worried. Eat, Drink & Be Married!

    Post # 143
    Member
    1041 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: November 2012

    I love open bars but most of the weddings I have been to outside of NY have been cash bars. And thats ok. You cant go broke trying provide free booze to everyone. We are having an open bar since it was important to us and we can afford it. If we couldnt afford it we would have a cash bar or a limited bar.

    I would just say that if you do a cash bar be sure soft drinks and water are free and make sure you let guests know in advance so they can bring cash.

    Post # 144
    Member
    28 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: September 2011

    Open bar was totally out of the question for us. My family are not big drinkers and my fiance’s are. I’m not going to let my parents pay for other’s alcohol when they don’t drink. So it was either we have a cash bar or no bar at all and my fiance wasn’t going to go for not having a bar at all.

    It’s common though for our group of friends anyways to BYOB at parties so they’re use to it.

    Post # 145
    Member
    20 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: August 2012

    i 100% say wine, beer and maybe choose a signature cocktail, nothing else.  Our venue lets us do 2 signature cocktails so mine is a Dirty Shirley (light cran juice, vodka, sprite 0) and my fiances is a Dirty Roy (cherry coke zero, whisky)

    Post # 146
    Member
    627 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    This debate always surprises me. I am in the “do what you can afford” camp…which is different than the “I would rather have X than serve my guests wine and beer.” If you buy a Pnina Tornei and then have a cash bar for everything, I think you might really want to think about the choice. Yes, a wedding is only one day, but that one day reflects on you for a long time. 

    I never have cash (I am that woman charging her $1.80 soda) and I also have never been to a wedding that wasn’t open bar. I don’t think you should count on word of mouth alone. I would not be annoyed at an open bar, I would be annoyed that in an area that is always open bar the bride and groom were not considerate enough to let the guests know in advance they would need cash!

    Can I also say I am so jealous of all those posting that it would only be $6-$8 for each drink? Maybe I have been in NYC for too long, but our average is $10-$15 for a mixed drink. So a $25 per person open bar would be like the holy grail of open bars around here 🙂

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