- Future Couture
- 9 years ago
- Wedding: June 2012
double post. ignore
Being one of the people who used that comparison, I think it was a little harsh to call it “stupid”. Like PP said above, good hosting is good hosting.
I will reiterate that wine and beer IS sufficient. I will not cry if I have to pay for a gin and tonic.
However, stating that comparison is “stupid” is harsh. I guess my hubby and I were stupid for cutting our guest list so that everyone could be “pampered” rather than invite 200 people who would have to pay for their drinks?
Also, an open bar is not an invitation to get sloshed. If your friends and family are that rude or immature, I doubt you would even invite them.
OP, do what’s best for you. I just don’t use the word stupid to comment on what someone else has said on these boards, ever.
I’m just sick of brides feeling like it’s the end of the world because some bees on the internet are telling them that they won’t be good hosts because they decided to go the cash bar route.
Hey, if you cut your guest list just to be able to have open bar, that’s your choice, but everyone else shouldn’t be made to feel like they should go that route also.
Some people can’t cut their guest list. My moms side of the family and dad’s side of the family combined are at least 150. I wouldn’t dream of cutting anyone just so that I can serve top shelf alcohol all night.
Maybe it’s because I don’t think party=alcohol. Maybe it’s because I know my guests will be on the dance floor without having to need a drink first. Put the Electric Slide on at 9am and I know my family will jump over tables to dance to it.
But like I said earlier, the people who are going to be snobby about it are going to be snobby about it.
Don’t forget, some issues arise simply because it’s a cultural thing. You know the expression “Eat, drink and be merry?”. That’s pretty much our family motto even at Sunday dinners! (Again, no one has to get sloshed, it’s just the way it is. Pairing wine with your steak or fish. A little baileys in your coffee. It’s culinary more than “frat party”.)
Once again, I have to state: I have no problem with those who DO choose a cash bar. We were THIS close to doing one ourselves. But then I dug deep and realized “that’s just not me!” Like I stated two pages ago, I love hosting!
i’m more of a open bar person myself, i’ve never been to any other type wedding. this being said i do think that some people take offence to a cash bar. i’ve heard many other people complain that they have reserved a whole day, some have travelled, plus an outfit and a a big fat enveloppe!! they feel that drinks should be offered…
i know that when i go to someone else wedding, it ends up costing me quite a bit of money and time, just as a guest. i think the generel idea is that if as a guest you put in let’s say 300$ for two people, you shouldn’t have to buy your own drinks.
think of the money and time we, as brides, ask our familly/bridesmiads/guests to shell out just for our special day, i feel like it’s the least i can do for them.
I love open bars but most of the weddings I have been to outside of NY have been cash bars. And thats ok. You cant go broke trying provide free booze to everyone. We are having an open bar since it was important to us and we can afford it. If we couldnt afford it we would have a cash bar or a limited bar.
I would just say that if you do a cash bar be sure soft drinks and water are free and make sure you let guests know in advance so they can bring cash.
Open bar was totally out of the question for us. My family are not big drinkers and my fiance’s are. I’m not going to let my parents pay for other’s alcohol when they don’t drink. So it was either we have a cash bar or no bar at all and my fiance wasn’t going to go for not having a bar at all.
It’s common though for our group of friends anyways to BYOB at parties so they’re use to it.
i 100% say wine, beer and maybe choose a signature cocktail, nothing else. Our venue lets us do 2 signature cocktails so mine is a Dirty Shirley (light cran juice, vodka, sprite 0) and my fiances is a Dirty Roy (cherry coke zero, whisky)
This debate always surprises me. I am in the “do what you can afford” camp…which is different than the “I would rather have X than serve my guests wine and beer.” If you buy a Pnina Tornei and then have a cash bar for everything, I think you might really want to think about the choice. Yes, a wedding is only one day, but that one day reflects on you for a long time.
I never have cash (I am that woman charging her $1.80 soda) and I also have never been to a wedding that wasn’t open bar. I don’t think you should count on word of mouth alone. I would not be annoyed at an open bar, I would be annoyed that in an area that is always open bar the bride and groom were not considerate enough to let the guests know in advance they would need cash!
Can I also say I am so jealous of all those posting that it would only be $6-$8 for each drink? Maybe I have been in NYC for too long, but our average is $10-$15 for a mixed drink. So a $25 per person open bar would be like the holy grail of open bars around here 🙂
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