(Closed) Open Bar Vs. Plus Ones

posted 8 years ago in Money
  • poll: If you had to choose between having an open bar but not allowing guests who are unmarried plus ones

    Allow plus ones, but have a cash bar

    Have an open bar, but not allowed unmarried people and single people to have a plus one

  • Post # 47
    653 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2014 - Our Backyard/Steakhouse

    @nattiejeanne:  but what about NOT having alcohol and doing a dry wedding instead?  Why is that not an option?  THAT is proper hosting.  You can have your plus ones (meaning you respect the status of those who are in relationships) and still properly host.

    I don’t understand why that is not an option?

    FYI, having a bar with very little food is not really a good idea anyway since alcohol on empty stomachs tends to run afoul.

    Post # 48
    221 posts
    Helper bee


    I don’t think it’s too foggy.  Let me rephrase; if they’re in a serious, long term relationship, they should be allowed to bring their SO.  I see your point of some people being prohibited from living together due to religion.

    Like some others mentioned, invites go out 8 weeks in advance or so.  You’re not going to meet someone and be in a serious relationship in two months.  

    Post # 49
    136 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: November 1999

    If no plus ones to unmarried people means that I couldn’t invite my stepmom, who has been with my father for over 20 years, then I would rather have the cash bar. In real life I would elope, though, or have a really small wedding with immediate family only.

    Post # 50
    1845 posts
    Buzzing bee

    I would choose the open bar because I find cash bars tacky, but I am assuming ‘no +1’s’ still means that couples who are living together, engaged or married are being invited.

    Post # 51
    5622 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: October 2014

    I agree with those who would limit plus ones, and have an open bar.

    Where are you having your wedding? Is it possible to do a DIY bar? That can save a TON of money and you can get the best of both worlds.

    We aren’t giving everyone over 18 a plus one.. our venue just isn’t that large. We are extending plus ones to those who are in serious relationships, though.

    Post # 52
    2766 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: April 2015

    This game “sucks” because it’s constrains are unrealistic.

    If I had to exclude guests’ long terms partners and fiances under this “no plus one” rule (saying that makes me cringe), then I’d be having a wedding with open bar for my immediate family, my FI’s immediate family, and some very close friends. 15-20 people max. A wedding is not a charity event or banquet, it’s a hosted private event.

    I’m not so entitled to think I should be able to have a big wedding that I can’t afford, and to offload costs to my guests.

    Post # 53
    1049 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    I would never, ever have a cash bar. So I picked no plus ones – most of my friends are married anyways.

    Post # 54
    8067 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2013

    I would limit plus ones and have an open bar.  However, I think guests who are in long term relationships or living together or engaged should get a plus one or their SO invited.  But single people, no plus ones. 

    If I really couldn’t afford the things I wanted (open bar and good food) I wouldn’t bother having a big wedding, I’d just invite my immediate family and bridal party to a destination wedding in Vegas or somewhere else nearby (Colorado for me).

    Post # 55
    6386 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: April 2013

    This game “sucks” because it’s constrains are unrealistic.

    @flowercrowns:  +100000, this exactly

    Post # 56
    7111 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: August 2013

    I voted open bar because I don’t think plus ones are necessary unless that guest doesn’t know any of the other guests. I do think that long term couples (even if unmarried) should be invited together. But I’d be fine coming to a wedding on my own if I was single and had friends who were attending the wedding as well.

    Post # 57
    572 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    I would invite long term couples as plus ones over having an open bar. I know that is a fuzzy line, but hey, life is like that.  I would not give all of the single people plus ones unless there was another reason – like they needed assistance (ie, an elderly widower) or wouldn’t know anyone else.

    Post # 58
    653 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2014 - Our Backyard/Steakhouse

    @housebee:  It reminds me of the question “On a scale of 1-10 whats your favourite letter of the rainbow?

    Post # 59
    288 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2014

    I 100% would rather invite plus ones than have an open bar. An open bar was never feasible for us and we have been very honest with our guests. We’re going to be doing wine on the tables, a champagne toast, and a certain amount of beer for free and all other alcohol is cash. Nobody has an issue wtih this at all.

    In fact, every single wedding I’ve been to (even VERY lavish gorgeous weddings) have only done a cash bar at the cocktail hour, max. I think it’s a New England thing?

    I would much rather have a date and pay $14 to have a couple drinks then dance the night away with my date vs. endless free alcohol to numb my social discomfort of not having a date lol

    Post # 60
    1014 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2015

    @nattiejeanne:  To me, “cut to the max” still means you are serving your guest some sort of main course.  You didn’t say it was just hors d’oeuvres, cake and champagne, which is not a meal.  So, one has to come to the conclusion that the meal is the standard “bare bones” meat, potato, veg. 

    You never clarified how “cut” the food was.

    It seems like you are making stuff up as you go along.  If you want to play a game, fine … but you’re like a little kid who has to change the rules just so they can win.


    Post # 61
    442 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: March 2014

    I wouldn’t go to a wedding by myself unless there were several very close friends in attendance and I knew I’d be seated with them. I’d rather buy my own drinks and bring someone I knew I could talk to all evening…otherwise I’d be getting drunk and sitting there miserable wishing I didn’t have to make small talk with random strangers.

    Though, I feel like the middle option would be to have open wine/beer or open cocktail hour and serve wine/beer the rest of the evening…or have a signature cocktail…or some other variation…

    ETA: I am giving EVERYONE a plus one…and I don’t care if they bring their friend from 8th grade…just to have someone to talk to…I won’t know a lot of FI’s family, and there are people invited from so many different social streams, I feel like it’s the right thing to do to include a plus one for every single guest.

    The topic ‘Open Bar Vs. Plus Ones’ is closed to new replies.

    Find Amazing Vendors