Post # 1
We have a lot of out-of-town family coming in and my Future In-Laws agreed to throw us a day-after brunch to hang out with our close Out of Town family before they head back home. One of FI’s cousins did this when she got married, and after everyone had mingled and eaten the newlyweds sat down and opened all their wedding gifts. People were still mingling around and not everyone was paying attention, but about half the people there sat and watched the whole time. The gift-opening wasn’t the “point” of the event (it wasn’t like “hey come over and watch them open their gifts”), it was for the close family to get to spend some time together and with the newlyweds in a calmer setting, and that’s mostly what happened, but they opened their gifts for part of it.
My parents did this too when they got married, there’s a photo album full of their day-after party and many of the pics are them opening gifts.
Fiance and I wanted to do this at our day-after brunch, but now that I think about it I’m worried about it looking a little…showy? Like, hey, look at all this expensive stuff we just got, watch us be the centers of attention AGAIN even though we just were all day yesterday! Maybe I’m just overthinking it because I’m feeling shy. I enjoyed watching FI’s cousin and her husband open their gifts because they got a lot of fun stuff and everyone liked seeing what they got, and no one turned their noses up at it or made rude comments about them showing off or being selfish or anything.
Did you/are you opening gifts at your day-after brunch, if you’re having one? Is this a common thing?
Post # 3
Not opening gifts and it is not a common thing here. I will be the first to say that watching someone open gifts is probably the part of the showers that most women dread because it is b-o-r-i-n-g. Why waste time that you could spend catching up with loved ones opening gifts? My advice is to skip it.
For my sister’s baby shower and probably for my own bridal shower we did not have a big sit down and open gifts. We displayed the gifts on a table with the name of the giver one them. My sis did open the gift in front of the couple(it was a green party so we suggested no adornment i.e. wrapping paper) so they got their fix of her oohing and aahing but we got so many complements and thanks for NOT opening gifts in front of everyone.
Post # 4
We had a day after brunch where we spent part of the time opening our gifts. We loved it (and many guests spoke highly of it afterwards as well). It also gave us the opportunity to thank people for their gifts in person (in addition to the thank you card we sent later). Many of our extended family we are only able to see every couple of years so it was great to have the extra time with everyone and have the more personal opportunity to show our appreciation.
I wouldn’t say it is traditional or common though.
Post # 5
We opened gifts the day after in front of BMs and our parents. It was nice and I don’t think anyone thought I was bragging. Surely everyone knows you get presents at a wedding? We only opened like 10 gifts. Most everyone else had sent theirs months before the wedding and they’d already been opened.
Post # 6
I’d rather just eat brunch and hang out WITHOUT opening gifts. Been to a lot of next day brunches and have not seen this. Personal preference and regional tradition I guess.
Post # 7
We are having a day after brunch and are planning on opening whatever gifts we get then.
Post # 8
This is pretty common around here, most of my relatives do some version of this. Some of them have an immediate family and wedding party only brunch and gift opening. Some invite everyone for both. Especially if there are enough people there that it becomes “optional,” where there is more to do (like mingle and chat) than just watch gifts, then I don’t think it’s a big deal.
That said, I hate opening gifts in front of people- even when I’m excited about a gift it doesn’t always show in my face, and I hate opening up an ugly/unwanted/duplicate gift and then feeling awkward about it. So we probably will open gifts privately.
Post # 9
It is very common in the midwest, everyone gets together at the couple’s house (or their parent’s house) and they serve up some brunch food and mingle. I don’t see it as show-offy, but that could be because I’ve been to a few of these in the past. The ones I’ve been to were mostly immediate family in attendance. With this said, I’m not really a big fan of it, because like most of you, the public gift opening is the most boring part of showers.
Post # 10
We are doing a day after bbq lunch and will be opening gifts there but i’m not looking forward to it!
I guess especially here in my circle of friends and family it is the thing to do and we already did it for our engagement presents the day after our enagagement party (although that was only close family watching) and I had to do it last weekend for my bachelerette party and honestly it makes me feel so awkward!
Post # 11
We’re skipping the gift opening. I know some folks may be disappointed by this, since it’s really common in this area, but I’m not comfortable opening the gifts in front of everyone. It could take forever (we’ve got an est. 300-400+ guests), and I’d feel awkward opening duplicate gifts in front of everyone (Aunt Mary knows you got 2 other toasters like the one she gave you).
Our hotel has a brunch offered in the morning, so if guests want to come buy some breakfast and mingle, that’s cool. We plan to send the gifts over to Mr.ND’s parents’ home when the reception starts so they’re stored safely out of the way until we get back from our honeymoon and just spend the morning chatting with our guests before we leave.
Post # 12
I’ve never seen this and never heard of anyone I know doing this. Maybe because around here people don’t get too many boxed gifts at the wedding. We got exactly 1 boxed gift at the wedding. All other tangible gifts were sent to our house ahead of time, (and opened as they came in). All the gifts we received at the wedding were cash. So I guess it’s just not possible to do a gift opening the day after.
I don’t necessarily see this as showy, just boring. As a guest I would have absolutely no interest in watching a gift opening.
Post # 13
Huh, I actually hadn’t considered that this was a regional thing! I think around here, watching people open gifts is a common/exciting thing — the whole point of showers in this area, and especially in my/FI’s family, is to watch the bride open gifts, haha. Maybe my circle is just nosy and wants to see all the stuff everyone gets, lol, but no one is ever bored at a shower watching the bride open gift after gift, and no one seemed bored at FI’s cousin’s brunch watching them open gifts.
So perhaps we will do the gift opening at the brunch as planned, since it seems that most people won’t find it weird/braggy. If people get bored they can go elsewhere in the house and mingle, if they want to watch they can watch.
Thanks for the input guys!
Post # 14
@hecallsmelove: Agreed. We are having a day after family dinner and our plan is to NOT open gifts but rather just focus on the time with family.
I look forward to the two of us opening gifts together, alone.
Post # 15
Never heard of this tradition!
The wedding was so tiring and stressful, that the next day sleeping and enjoying each other was all we wanted to do. Opening gifts and putting on faces for people would not be my idea of fun. If people are still in town, a dinner or gathering would be nice though! We wen’t out to eat with some of our guests before they left town the next day.
Post # 16
I’m having a brunch too…and personally I wouldn’t want to open my gifts during. I’d rather spend time with my guests.