- 6 years ago
- Wedding: September 2011
Dear Best Man,
I’m not sure why I’m not able to let this go, and my incredibly wonderful and caring husband really wants me to let it go, but I need to get it out of my system so I can move on, I guess, and since Darling Husband doesn’t think anything will come of my telling you directly, and since he and I are a team, I’m taking it up here on the glorious innerwebz, just to get it out.
You visited us, at our expense, a few months back, and were excited and already talking about writing your toast. When you returned for our wedding, again at our expense, you were excited to give your toast even though you were still working on it. I didn’t expect you to have it done, and certainly didn’t expect anything on the caliber of Lincoln’s Gettysburg Address that would go down in history as one of the most eloquent speeches ever delivered. We only asked that you keep it to less than two minutes and don’t cuss. So we set the bar pretty low. But I never dreamed you’d be so hung over on the wedding day that Darling Husband would spend all morning nursing you, and that you would be completely unprepared for your toast. You stood up in front of all of our friends and family and basically let everyone know that you hadn’t written a single word for us, and laughed it off, saying that it was one of the groomsmen’s “fault” for keeping you at the hotel bar the night before. Then you dragged it out by trying to be funny, but your joke missed the mark. The only saving grace was my sister, whose toast was so wonderfully done as to make up for your complete lack of any thought or effort.
You actually stood there and said “I meant to have something written but ended up in the hotel bar, sorry folks, ha ha ha, bride looks pretty though!”
Darling Husband and I went to a lot of trouble, effort and expense to make a wonderful day for our friends and family. We’ve opened our home to you so many times over the years that you yourself admit to thinking of it as your second home. We’ve spoiled you. We’ve paid for your flights every time you’ve come to visit, and paid for your hotels when we’ve travelled together. We know you’re having financial issues and never once held that against you, and we’ve never minded doing these things for you, because we both loved you, and Darling Husband thought of you as his brother. We’ve never expected anything in return other than your respect, love and friendship. And when Darling Husband wanted you as best man, it seemed so right and appropriate.
And the repayment we’re given for all these years of caring, friendship and generosity is for you to not even bother to PRETEND to have a few kind words to say at our wedding? Or to ask us to skip it completely and just let my sister speak? How dare you show our friends how little we mean to you! YOU DIDN’T EVEN PRETEND TO TRY!!!
Darling Husband says he’s lost a lot of respect for you, and that if he had it all to do over, he’d have chosen another friend for the honor of best man. I hate you for making him feel one ounce of regret over anything related to our wedding, and I hate you for the way I feel when I think about that awful, awkward, sad excuse for a toast. I’m sure in time it will fade, but things will never go back to the way they were before, and I blame you, and only you, for destroying that friendship. I want to be clear that it’s not about the money spent over the years, and it never has been about the money. It’s about the lack of gratitude, and the selfish behavior, and the attitude that your ridiculous hangover is somehow a reasonable excuse for not being able to say fifteen seconds’ worth of kind things about your supposed best friend on his wedding day.