(Closed) Open marriage/swinging…… could you…..would you?

posted 8 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
7300 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

I couldn’t do it. I’m too jealous when it comes to things like that and I am very open minded.
I know Will Smith and Jada Pickett Smith have a marriage like that and it seems to work for them. They aren’t divorced so I would call that a success. ^_^

I think I would worry about-

  • STD’s
  • If the woman was prettier and skinner with perkier boobs than me.
  • I think SO would worry if the other guy had bigger junk than him and got me off faster.
  • I would worry about SO liking another woman better sexually and leaving.
  • I would worry about my own mental health. Like how could I look myself in the mirror or kiss my SO when I was making out with another man in front of him or had another man’s penis in my mouth.
  • How could I look at SO knowing he was passionate with another woman.

    Oh I could go on, so the answer is no. I couldn’t do it. Although I think the fantasy aspect of it is hot, I couldn’t ever do it in real life.

Post # 5
10366 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010


Post # 6
1553 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

No, I know myself and my husband well enough to know that neither one of us could do that.  I know (or so I hear) that it does work if both partners want it and are comfortable with it,  They have each other for the love, emotional connection, and the stability of a committed relationship…but are free to act on their attractions to others, without fear of hurting their partner, or damaging the relationship.

But not me.  I can’t say that the idea even appeals to me.  I just don’t have any interest in being intimate with anyone else.  And the thought of my husband being intimate with another woman?  It makes me nauseous to think about.

Post # 7
4311 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

No. I wouldn’t get married if I wanted to do that.

Post # 8
786 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

No way, not for us! The idea of it just seems so awkward to me and Fiance…

Post # 9
423 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

At this point we are not fully into a lifestyle like that, but we are definitely open to it.

Post # 10
7300 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

I actually know couples that are like this and from the outside, they look like a normal happy married couple. They have been married 20 years and have been swinging for about 7.

I think it also helps that they are both from another country and weren’t raised religious. Sometimes I think Americans are very prude about sex. I think we are raised to believe sex=love and that’s it. Not sex=human desire.

I don’t know, it would be interesting to hear other countries views on it. Especially Europe. When we went after high school, it seems like the Europeans have a WHOLE different meaning of sex than Americans do and it’s interesting to know why when you start really thinking about it.

Post # 11
1303 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

Ima have to give this a HELL NO.

Post # 12
3587 posts
Sugar bee

I know some swingers and it works for them. I couldn’t because I don’t like to share. (As a little girl, my parents bought 2 of things so my sister and I wouldn’t have to share.LOL)

If I were single, that’d be different.

Post # 13
548 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

Trust me, I love sex and so does my Fiance and we love fantasies…but HELL TO THE NO!

If it works for you, wahooo!!! It simply wouldn’t work for us.

Post # 14
2819 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

I think there’s absolutely no problem with it if both persons are consenting adults.

However, I personally couldn’t do it. I am solidly monogamous, and so is FH.

Post # 15
2392 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@Miss Tattoo: I think a lot of it is how we think about sex in our culture.

Personally, I would be 100% ok with this sort of arrangement.  I’ve even talked to my fiance about my interest in it.  It’s not for him, and I would choose him over an open/swinging relationship any day.  But I can’t say it doesn’t appeal to me… I think part of it may be that I seem to have a really different attitude towards sex than a lot of people.  To me, it’s not such a big deal… I don’t have sex with people I don’t like or respect, and I don’t sneak around, but sex is not some great sacred act to me. 

Post # 16
1057 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

I’ve suggested this to Fiance several times. I would jump all over it if I could!

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