(Closed) Opinion on my prospective bridal party please

posted 7 years ago in Bridesmaids
  • poll: Are these reasonable bridal party members?

    Yes, ask all

    No, ask some (please elaborate?)

    Talk to them about it before asking them

  • Post # 3
    699 posts
    Busy bee

    I think you need to have your half sister, your Fiance sister and maybe one other person. I would not ask anyone that I worked with, or was partners with- but I don’t mix business and personal. In regards to your friend that you haven’t spoken to in awhile, depending on how long it has been that could be a little strange.

    I think a  note is a nice way to ask everyone- but keep it short, simple and sweet. Etsy has some really nice cards for this that you can order.

    Post # 4
    2737 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: January 2014

    They all sound great! You should definitely ask them, but of course be prepared that they might say no due to money or time constraints. But I am sure they’ll be honored, even if they can’t do it!!

    Post # 6
    1029 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: March 2014

    If having a bridal party is very important to you, these all genuinely sound like excellent candidates.  Good luck.  

    But I just want to remind you that a bridal party isn’t mandatory. If this is making you anxious, if you feel obligated to invite your FI’s sister even though you’re not really friends, if you suspect a bridesmaid will only accept if her friend accepts….you don’t have to do this.  As a fellow introvert, I know sometimes you have to push yourself to do things that make you uncomfortable.  And other times, you can just let it go.  

    Post # 7
    2164 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: NJ

    Without reading anyone else’s opinions first, mine is, ask the little half-sister, your Future Sister-In-Law, and your male friend. I would keep it to 3 on your side.

    That’s just me!

    Post # 8
    2758 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2008

    I would just choose the first three, honestly. I would invite all of the others as guests, though!

    Post # 9
    584 posts
    Busy bee

    View original reply
    beachbride2bee:  I would choose the first three.  While large bridal parties are great for people who want them and know exactly who they would choose, if you are more of an introvert and weren’t set on having a large party, I think you will ultimately appreciate having a smaller, more intimate party.  Also, if you choose two people who are family and one best friend, others will be less likely to be hurt or take it personally if you don’t include them.

    Also, I’d avoid including people you have professional connections to.  Relationships like that can change quickly, and you could end up being in an uncomfortable spot.  Even you mention the possibility of things getting rocky there.  I know a lot of people who included people in their wedding party and came to regret it later when the relationship changed.  That can’t always be avoided, but this relationship seems more at risk for that.

    Post # 10
    1740 posts
    Bumble bee

    View original reply
    beachbride2bee:  If you want fewer bridesmaids, I would cut numbers #4 and #6. The thing with work people is they are really close to you while you are working at that job, but later in life may not be a part at all. Right now, since you’re stil in the business with #4, she seems super important, but in 10 years you may not even be acquaintances. This happened to a friend of mine who asked our then-boss to be a bridesmaid, then later things at work got weird and the bride quit and wasn’t friends with the bosslady any more. They don’t speak, but boss lady was a Bridesmaid or Best Man at the girl’s wedding. Personally, I would want to limit the BM-ship of anyone I’m not 100 percent confident will be in my distant future. The one’s i’ve got now I’m certain will always be part of my life. Also, how many Groomsmen does your Fiance need? Becuase fewer on your side might make it “easier” for him, though I don’t beleive you have to have exact matching amounts if it doesnt work. 

    Post # 11
    7111 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: August 2013

    From what you’ve described, I’d pick the first 4. Though the last two would be fine, as well. 

    When picking my people, I wanted people who would help keep me calm and having fun on my wedding day, especially early in the day. Are these people that will talk you down off a ledge if you’re freaking out because the cake is accidentally in the wrong color? That’s the kind of people you should be going for. 

    Post # 12
    782 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2015

    I would cut 4 and 6. I would not ask the coworker because they are a dime a dozen. They come and go. As for the last friend I would not ask her to be a bridesmaid. She seems nice by sending pins but if you are worried she wont be too interested if the coworker is not in the wedding party then i don’t she is not really a good friend. Ask the rest though!

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