Post # 1
Member
15 posts
Newbee
I would like the bees opinion.
Background:I have 4 amazing sisters, and one very cool sister in law to be. I also have a very limited guest list and 4 friends that I cannot imagine not being there on my wedding day (and some friend politics, too). I talked to my sisters, and all are okay not being bridesmaids, giving me the blessing to make any choice I want. My mom even seemed okay with sisters not being in the wedding party as bridesmaids.
So, I asked my girlfriends to be my bridesmaids. This ended up being the best diplomatic move and everyone is on board. So far so drama free (at least with this). My mom insisting that I include my niece NO MATTER WHAT is another story for another day.
ANYWAY…I would still like to honor these women somehow. They really are amazing and fi and i are close to our siblings. There are really only so many readings you can have..
One idea I’ve been playing around with is having them precede me down the aisle, (like they have in life) maybe around when the parents are seated. I don’t expect them to get any kind of bridesmaids dress, dress in any color or style or any other kind of “sister” dress, or even stand up in the wedding. They can go sit with their families right away which might be easier given that they have kids.
MOH’s idea was to pause during the ceremony and honor those who have been role models (ie sisters) and giving them a single flower, keeping it a surprise. But I feel like it would be a bit too “Price is Right”: you’ve been a role model, come on down! Not to mention how awkward it would be to suddenly be singled out, have to negotiate your way up to the altar..
Any other ideas?
Post # 3
Member
2295 posts
Buzzing bee
@fbrownbride: I love your ideas! I think they are both great and could be done with such class. At first I was like “Meh, in the processional?” But if you think about it, grandparents and parents are in the processional, why not honored siblings?
At ceremonies where people have given out flowers to honored guests, I have always seen the couple go down to the guests, not having the guests come up to the altar.
You could reserve them seats in the front row (if there are enough) to make that easier. Plus that’s a place of honor.
Perhaps give them a corsage that is a little different than everyone else’s.
If they are talented singers, you could ask them to together sing a song.
You could see if you could find a reading with multiple parts and ask them all to do a portion of the reading.
You could have out a table with photos of “honored family” and put framed photos of them on that table. Sort of like people do for memorials (but obviously you’d have to be careful to make it clear it was for people who are still alive!!).
Post # 4
Member
7758 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
I say just seat them when the parents are seated, so I voted “in the processional”.
I don’t think it’s necessary to do anything else. They will be in the family photos and presumably seated at your family’s table at the reception. I think that is enough. Whenever siblings are not in the wedding party (and aren’t doing a reading), that is what usually happens. You can also thank them in a speech at the reception – this is a more common time to thank people.
Post # 5
Member
1686 posts
Bumble bee
Honestly, I don’t think you need to go to these lengths. I know, for myself, if my sister wanted to have me walk in the processional, but not be a bridesmaid, or stop the ceremony to do some kind of flower thing, it would make me pretty uncomfortable, like, “This is their wedding, shouldn’t my sister be getting married already, and WHY ARE ALL THESE PEOPLE LOOKING AT ME?” (Of course maybe your sisters would love it, so, you know… 🙂
I think if you really want your sisters to know how important they’ve been to you, you should write them each a letter telling them how they’ve been role models for you and give them to them the night before or morning of. I know that something like that, from my sister, would be so meaningful to me.
Post # 6
Member
333 posts
Helper bee
Do you have page boys or flowergirls? maybe they could help them down the aisle?
Post # 7
Member
15 posts
Newbee
Elvis, that unnatural and embarassing interruption is exactly what I wanted to avoid and what I meant by Price is right, but I have been grasping for ideas.
It looks like seating them with parents/honored family and having a unique corsage for them would be enough. They can still do readings, or sing once I figure that all out, but I really wanted to do something. I know Future Sister-In-Law is a little shy, and that sudden “rose ceremony during the ceremony” might be mortifying to her. Writing them each a letter is a wonderful idea and would be so meaningful. and it wouldn’t be for show 🙂
Paula: we’re already doing something with pictures in memoriam. I have no idea how I could possibly pull off putting pictures up and not make it look like they aren’t dead. I laughed out loud at the idea of having to explain: no really they’re alive!
Post # 8
Member
7904 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
- Wedding: March 2012 - Pelican Grand Beach Resort
I wouldn’t do any of these things. Give the corsages and leave it at that. To me, all these gestures just draw attention to the fact that these women are not bridesmaids and implies that there is something wrong with that and you are trying to make up for it.
Post # 9
Member
433 posts
Helper bee
@fbrownbride:
They don’t have to be in the processional. You can make them attendants/ushers, to pass out programs and help people to their seats. You can also ask them to assist with coordinating escort cards at the reception, and taking photos, etc.
Post # 10
Member
2 posts
Wannabee
I am currently battling the same thing! We’ve decided to have them walk down the aisle after the parents and before the bridesmaids. We will have a sister dress and have them stand at the altar with the bridesmaids. This seems to be a great compromise since the groom didnt want them as bridesmaids (BM) or groomsmen (GM).
However my problem is I have no clue what to call them!?!?
What creative title should they carry since they are all to old to be junior bridesmaids and junior groomsmen.
I initially started calling them honorary attendants but everyone including the mother of the groom, mother of the bride, and siblings lashed at me for that. I asked them to come up with a better name, yet no one has. PLEASE HELP!
This is a formal wedding and I will put these titles on programs and on out wedding website.
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