Post # 1
“My best friend got engaged 2 months before my wedding! Couldn’t they have waited??”
“My cousin got engaged before my wedding and I want her to wait to announce it until after.”
“My sister is pregnant and now I don’t want her at the wedding because she’ll be showing and it might take away from me.”
“I’m going to tell my brother I want him to wait until after our wedding to propose to his girlfriend.”
I’m sure we have all heard at least one person say something like this or tell a story similar to it. Heck, we’ve all seen posts on here from gals in these ‘predicaments’.
What do you guys think causes this? I’m not trying to attack anyone; I’m sincerely curious where this kind of thinking may stem from.
Do you gals think brides like this are within their rights to expect the life milestones of others to be held off until after their big day?
ETA: I worked with a girl whose boyfriend proposed over a month before her older sisters wedding. Their mother told her not to tell anyone because a)her sister would be upset and b)it would “take family attention away from your sister at her wedding.”
My stance: as long as you do not propose *at my wedding or reception*, we are good to go!
Post # 3
@badabing88: No, I don’t think people are within their rights to dictate how other people’s personal milestones and accomplishments are handled. I don’t think that type of behavior is common, but I think those people get caught up in the whole adventure and let things like this get to them. We don’t always behave rationally, although I’m sure most of us try! 🙂
Post # 4
@badabing88: I’m sure it all comes from “IT’S ALL ABOUT ME!!!” but I do think that, unless it’s a wedding-related activity (bach party, engagment party, shower, etc.) then no, it’s not about you (you being the bride/groom).
As long as no one proposes, announces their engagement, or tries to conceieve a child AT our wedding, I’m good.
Post # 5
I honestly don’t know why people would want others to put their own lives on the back burner until their wedding day. I suppose some brides get so wrapped up in their planning they forget the world doesn’t revolve around them? I’m not trying to say they’re selfish or bad people or anything like that, it’s just that perhaps planning a fairytale wedding can make someone get out of touch with reality? Just a guess. Not even an educated one! 🙂
Post # 6
99% of the time, no. But like anything else, there are always exceptions. For example, I remember a bee who posted her family member (I think brother?) wanted to propose during her reception. That is too much.
Post # 7
Ughh I hate this. I don’t get why some brides feel that their wedding is the most important day to everyone. It’s important to her, to her FI, and to her very immediate family. To have a bride make these kinds of requests is ridiculous.
Post # 8
@badabing88: not ok. I was on the receiving end though so I might be biased. FBIL and his wife insisted FI not propose to me until at least two weeks after their wedding. He sat on the ring for over two months because of that. 🙁
you get one day, as they say…you can’t dictate other people’s lives or expect them to hide joyous things like pregnancy or engagements because you happen to be getting married. I think the overwhelming desire for attention is purely narcissistic on the bride’s part. Your day is a celebration of you no matter whom else in attendance is pregnant or engaged. But then, maybe im different in that I really don’t care what people do in the months leading up to my wedding.
Post # 9
I think it’s fucking ridiculous to put it bluntly. Totally and completely self absorbed and egotistical. However, there are rare cases that are exceptions of course.
Post # 10
@badabing88: I think these kinds of brides are a bit much. Well, more than a bit. A LOT crazy. It’s ridiculous to expect anyone to put their life on hold because of a milestone in your own life. No one cares about your wedding as much as you and your FI do.
That being said, my photographer mentioned she’s trying for a second baby, and I hope she’s still able to shoot my wedding in a year! LOL. But, I feel like that’s a little different. Right? Right? 😛
Post # 11
These types of brides are crazy!! Obviously they are self absorbed and want all the attention for themselves. People don’t seem to realize that their wedding is not nearly as important to other people as it is to them. If my sister told me not to announce my engagement until after her wedding I would tell her to shove it.
Post # 12
@badabing88: I think we see the uglier side of bridal logic here on the Hive, because there is no way any person in their right mind would say any of those things out loud….we’re a sounding board for the ladies when they need us, a witness to those flashes of crazy we’re all victims of at one point or another.
I honestly think its better to let that out here and get it over with than to let those little ugly thoughts and feelings fester, we’re not monuments to justice and kindness….sometimes everyone wants to be Spring of Summertime, and then your f&%$ing sister turns up pregnant and everyone’s going to be asking about the baby and you’ll be standing there in your $3,500 wedding dress with a Vienese Bustle that takes thirty minutes just to do and NO ONE’S GOING TO NOTICE!!!!
Post # 13
@DomesticDiva: Yeah that’s definitely different. It’s different hoping someone will be ABLE to perform vs taking the attention from you.
Post # 14
I don’t think anyone has any right to try and stop people from living their lives just so the bride can have her moment. However, I think that these feelings come up because for a lot of brides their wedding is the one and only time in their lives when they are going to be showered with a lot of attention. Being a middle child myself, I couldn’t WAIT to be the center of attention just once in my life! Would it have sucked if my sisters got pregnant again or someone else wanted to get married on the same day? Maybe, but that being said, I did not take it so far as to make people around me hold off on their lives and big events so that the spotlight could remain on me. That kind of thinking is just ridiculous.
Post # 15
@Chrysoberyl: Yes, exactly! Whew.
Post # 16
@DomesticDiva: My photographer was doing this too and I panicked!! Luckily she got pregnant earlier than planned so our wedding isn’t “in jeopardy” lol. She had her baby a couple of months ago, but 5 days later she was already out shooting a wedding!