Post # 1
Hi all. I’m still a “waiting bee”, however, SO and I have been together for 3 years and living together for 2 and have been paying all of our bills together while maintaining separate bank accounts. The other day we discussed whether or not we should open a joint bank account and we couldn’t think of any reason why we HAD to, however, I’m sure there are good reasons why we should.
So I am asking you bees for input and opinions. Are joint bank accounts a necessity? Did any married bees not open a joint account? If so, why? What are the pros/cons of opening a joint bank account?
Oh, and for you waiting bees, do you currently have a joint bank account with your SO? Why or why not? Are you waiting to be engaged/married before opening one?
Post # 3
I don’t see why you’d want to keep doing the math on shared living expenses, if it’s shared it’s way easier to jsut take the money for there. We have shared and unshared accounts.
Post # 4
I have a joint account with my SO that we both put money in to pay our bills. I just find it easier to do it that way than to pay them out of seperate accounts. We’ve been together for 4+ years, and I didn’t think twice about opening one even though we aren’t engaged/married yet.
Post # 5
I do agree with that. It’s a pain every month to write separate checks out for every bill. Although, the last few months, I’ve just been writing a check to SO for my half of the bills and then he just pays everything. This is why we brought up maybe opening a joint account. So do you just put in enough for the bills in the joint account?
Post # 6
DH and I opened a joint account AFTER we got engaged. I refused to “pay” for my ring in any way, shape, or form, so after he bought and paid for my ring, we opened a joint account. Once we did, we put ALL of our funds into the account and I keep everything paid and balanced (of course, if SO is better at that task, let him. Lol). We have a weekly “allowance” that we use towards our hobbies. And when we get bonus checks, joint Christmas money, etc…, we split it three ways: 1/3 goes to Savings, 1/3 goes to something we both have been wanting to do or buy (vacation, new tent, etc…) and the other 1/3 gets halfed between the two of us for our “hobby” money.
Post # 7
I was a little nervous to do it before being engaged but am leaning towards it after we are engaged. I think it will make things easier.
Post # 8
I was adament about not combining finances until we were at least engaged. And there was no way in hell I was going to have us buy a house or car together before we were married. (We did buy a house before getting engaged, we had already been living together 4 years, but it’s in his name only, and that was my idea.)
Way too many things can happen, and I’ve seen friends lose thousands of dollars because they combined finances with the person they were living with then the relationship fell through. Nobody likes to think that situation could happen to them, but it happens to a lot of people who felt the exact same way.
If you are going to make a joint account to pay bills out of, you should both only deposit into it what your part of the bills will be; make this agreement ahead of time to protect both of you and make sure there’s no hard feelings if one of you decides to put in their entire paycheck and the other person only puts in enough to cover bills.
Now that we’re married, we’re starting the process of combining our finances. But prior to that, I just wrote him a check every month for my half of the bills.
Post # 9
I think it totally depends on you, your SO and your view on money quite honestly. Some people like to keep things separate down to the cent and for some money is just that money.
For my husband and I we had combined finances way before engagement. If we already knew we were spending the rest of our lives together what difference does a ring make or a piece of paper from the state of NY make to us?
Nothing, in my opinion. But do whatever makes YOU feel comfortable.
Post # 10
Our whole paychecks go there. I donno why we have seperate savings account. Unless one of you is wreakless with money it’s useless. We’re prob gonna get rid of our savings soon, they are remnants from before we were together.
Post # 11
I was married before and got incredibly, unbelievably, I-can’t-believe-the-state-of-Florida-has-no-laws-to-help-me screwed over by my ex as far as money and credit is concerned.
Never, ever again.
Fiance and I will never have a joint account, partly because I wouldn’t want my terrible credit to affect his and partly because there’s just no reason.
When we moved in together, based on our salaries we split up the bills. I pay our rent, my student loan, my car insurance, gas for my car, most of our groceries and my cell phone.
He pays his car payment, insurance, our satellite tv, our mifi internet thing, gas for his car, he has a couple of credit cards and he’ll usually pay on the rare occasion we go out to eat or he stops at the store instead of me.
The only thing that will change is when my stupid verizon contract is FINALLY up in September, we’ll add a line to his account and I’ll get a new VT number and phone.
It works for us, but everyone is different.
Post # 12
@abbyful: If you are going to make a joint account to pay bills out of, you should both only deposit into it what your part of the bills will be; make this agreement ahead of time to protect both of you and make sure there’s no hard feelings if one of you decides to put in their entire paycheck and the other person only puts in enough to cover bills.
– We are both leaning towards doing it this way simply because we both like having our own money separate from the “joint” funds.
Post # 13
We have only joint accounts (no separate anything–we added each other to our respective accounts). This happened once we got married, because we changed my name on the accounts at the same time. But even before we were married, we considered all the money “our” money. I personally don’t really get keeping separate accounts…I don’t understand “paying back” your spouse/SO if they buy the groceries or if they take you out to dinner. It would feel more like a roommate situation to me.
Post # 14
We had joint bank accounts long before we were engaged. Having lived together for more than 6 years, being able to pay bills out of one account is really much easier. The first few years of our relationship we maintained separate finances. While it worked out fine, I couldn’t help but feel like we were more roommates than boyfriend/girlfriend every month when I would write him a check for my portion of our living expenses. For us, joint finances just make sense.
With that said, I have a friend who has been married for almost 3 years and she and her husband don’t have joint accounts. For her, it came down to trust. Her husband had some money issues in the past and she didn’t feel comfortable allowing him to have access to her finances. Totally understandable.
Post # 15
In addition to a shared savings account, we have a total of three checking accounts, his, mine and joint. The joint one is for bills and stuff we do together, like eating out, entertainment, etc. Our seperate accounts are for our own things. Like when I go shopping, or if he goes out with his friends, etc.
I like this way because we’re saying, OK, I’ll pay rent this month if you’ll cover this and this, but it still gives us our freedom.
Post # 16
We own a house, engaged to be married (just over 2 weeks!) and do not have a joint account.
We took 30% of what we make (after taxes) each and whatever that amount was goes towards the house. For him, it’s the mortgage payments, for me it’s everything else (gas, water, prop taxes, insurance, plus everything else) and that just comes out of each of our accounts. Anything leftover goes towards his commute (he has a really long one and an expensive toll highway to go with it) and mine goes into house upgrades/maintainece.
We have said once our student loans are paid off we will look at opening an account together, we now make about the same which really helps in terms of equal contributions. For now, it works for us, I have a detailed budget that every %/$ of my monthly income is accounted for and he knows where it is to look at it, and he has one as well -with the wedding we’ve had to be quite diligent in terms of savings and neither of us are any bit reckless in terms of spending, so it really works for us!