(Closed) Opinions? Is my DOC & Venue being ridiculous?

posted 5 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
989 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Honestly, I would just draw up a mock layout yourself and make an extra few pomanders just in case.  You can use any extras to decorate elsewhere.

Post # 4
3267 posts
Sugar bee

6 months out is still quite a while.  I am sure she has other brides with much closer wedding dates that need her attention. 

I think you are overreacting.

Post # 7
2376 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

Breathe.  You are asking more of your planner than is laid out in what you described.  She’s quite correct that a layout cannot be planned until you know how many people will be attending.  I assume that since it’s a Destination Wedding, you’re not talking about hundreds of people here.  Layouts are MORE important with smaller spaces and fewer numbers.  No one notices in a  200+ person venue if there are fewer chairs in the back row than in the front row.  They DO notice when there’s only 20 chairs. 

You have 6 months left.  Now is the time to prioritize.  Get the ‘must have’ projects done first, then the ‘really want to haves’ and finally the ‘would be nice to haves’.  If the pomanders are on the must have list, start making them.  If you have extra, find another use for them.  Decoration elsewhere, having your flower girl carry one, something like that.

Post # 8
246 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I don’t think you’re overreacting at all.  I would just email her back and ask her again politely, to draw up a layout for you.  You can even lie to her and say you’ve already gotten your official response cards back.  She probably doesn’t understand that you really need this info NOW so you can get to work on your DIY projects.  Or, you could draw up your own mockup and send it to her saying “Can the venue do this?  Can this many people fit into the space like this?”

This is the sort of stuff you’re paying for her to do.  It seems really easy for her to just do it.

Post # 9
3267 posts
Sugar bee

@BlueDiamondBride:  Your lack of time, isn’t her problem.  Nor does it mean that she should do something out of the ordinary.  I am sorry that you don’t like to hear this.  But I bet if your wedding was the one next weekend and you found out that she was spending her time doing a ceremony plan for someone 6 months away from their wedding you wouldn’t be happy.

That said.  It’s just an opinion, and if you don’t like it, then don’t take it on board.

Post # 10
1134 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I just want to say your ceremony site is BEAUTIFUL!


( unfortanly i dont have any experience with destination weddings)

I would def explain to her that you have a lack of time, and really need a mock design. She may understand more if you tell her that you only have 26 days to do your diy projects and your not some crazy bridezilla!

Good luck!

Post # 11
1022 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@BlueDiamondBride:  you do have loads of time, and I agree, you could get a rough idea/count but you still might need to make/do more later.

Post # 12
11633 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2015

I wouldn’t lie to her, she’ll know that you’re trying to bulily her into working for you when you don’t have your final count officially. This isn’t the moment to play that card, you want her in your corner for when real emergencies come up, and they will. Make the smallest amount of pomps now that you think you will need, move  on to other DYI projects, and when you get closer, if you need to make more, you can. If not, great. Good luck, your venue gorgeous!

Post # 14
3092 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

We have trouble with our coordinator too…sometimes she’s non responsive…or she’ll answer a question with a non answer.

So what is the cost of x?

Answer: That sounds great!


Fiance and my tactic is to tag team her.  He’ll email, I’ll email, we’ll CC eachother on all the emails and we get EVERYTHING in writing. 

The other day it took us about 8 emails with her to confirm she won’t be walking spa guests through our day after brunch…so annoying!

Post # 15
2390 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

You could……set it up like the photo? And really, stop stressing out about decor. The venue is beautiful – why would you need decor?

Post # 16
307 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2015

I honestly don’t think anyone will notice if pomanders aren’t on all of the rows of chairs.  Maybe just make a goodly number (4 or 6?  or hell even 2), and put those at the very front rows.  Then move on to other, more important DIY things. 


If you have time after all that is done, then by all means, go crazy with the pomanders, If you don’t have time, maybe find something else (that is much faster to make) to decorate the aisle chairs with.  Maybe organza or tulle bows?  You can probably find a tutorial somewhere that will tell you how to make the big, fluffy, spherical tulle bows that can mimic the shape of the pomanders.




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