(Closed) Opinions on favor alternative

posted 11 years ago in Favors
  • poll: Good idea? Bad idea?

    Good idea

    Bad idea

    Decent idea, I would tweak your plan though...(explain below)

  • Post # 8
    1046 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: December 2010

    Mmm, I think this is risky. I just don’t think a wedding should be turned into a political forum. It’s nice to think that people will be respectful, but I wouldn’t count on any people that are homophobic to be respectful. Additionally, it’ll be what your guests end up talking about for the rest of the night. And with this kind of favor, you’ve automatically not provided a favor for anyone that doesn’t want to sign the card.

    Your intentions are good but I’d skip the favor or find something less politically and socially charged.

    Post # 10
    5262 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: June 2012

    I agree with “in lieu of favors” – people really shouldn’t be offended as long as you avoid the “a donation has been made in your name/honor” – I think it’s fine to stand up for something you believe in as long as you’re being respectful about it. There are plenty of people who don’t agree with organizations like PETA or whatever, and I don’t think it’d be a big deal. Maybe just have it written out in the programs or on a sign rather than an announcement – or you could have a little card explaining it at each table. 

    Post # 11
    1518 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2010

    We are donating too but instead of the cards we are making a sign to display near the escort cards so people can read about the cause. We will use the phrasing “in lieu of traditional wedding favors…” followed with some explanation of what the charity does. I think this or the cards is a better way of doing it than an announcement. Plus having something passed around to sign might offend people if they disagree with you. It draws enough but not too much attention to your cause by having a sign or card. 

    Post # 12
    961 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2010

    Perhaps you could honor your charity with a little white ribbon knot that supportive folks can where on their lapels, if they choose.  We are not making a donation, but offering knots for those interested in wearing them, in honor of the fact that LGBT folks do not have the right to wed in all states.  If people don’t want to wear it, they dont have to.  That said, I doubt anyone would put up a big stink at a wedding because they didn’t like how the B&G spent THEIR OWN money!  Good luck and great choice!

    Post # 13
    1454 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: December 1969

    I think the donation is a great idea. But I would say “we have made a donation in lieu of favors to the human rights campaign, an organization that is very important to us. For more information go to blah blha blah website.” If they are asked to sign a card, for me as a guest that’s like, cool, they’re judging their guests. It’s like whoever doesn’t sign it, the bride and groom know and then feel like they’re “against” it. I think that would cause hurt feelings and weirdness. No matter WHAT you do do NOT tell people to be mature about it. Unless you know your family is crazy and would throw a scene, telling adults to disagree respectfully insults their maturity.

    And agree with PP’s, don’t say it’s a donation IN THEIR NAME. Just in leiu of favors.

    Post # 14
    1080 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: March 2010

    we donated to two animal shelters. originally we were going to make a framed announcement but the night before the wedding it still wasn’t done…so we scarpped the announcement and donated without saying anyhting to the guests. It wasn’t missed at all!

    Post # 15
    761 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2010

    I like kjpugs idea of saying “human rights organization”. Also here is another possible idea. I have heard of people having cards at the tables saying “in lieu of favors we would like to donate money to one of these charities”…and then choose 1 or 2 more and they can check the box. Maybe one that is non-political such as St. Judes or an association that does reasearch for an illness that runs in your family or affects someone you know. I would love to check LGBT but I guess some people don’t feel the same. Also, know your audience! Hope this helps.

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