(Closed) Opinions on long engagements

posted 4 years ago in Beehive
Post # 61
Member
904 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

We are having a 2 1/2 year engagement.  When we get married I will be 27 and Fiance will be 32.  We are doing a Destination Wedding and wanted to give family 2 years to plan/save (my family doesn’t exactly have money to blow on a tropical vacation but I know they wouldn’t miss it for the world either).  

We got engaged in April 2015 (after dating 6 1/2 years) and will get married October 2017.  October is cheaper to travel to Mexico, we were there last October and it wasn’t crowded AT ALL. And we are getting married on our 9 year anniversary.  

I love it.  I’m not stressed, I don’t have to live and breathe wedding details.  FI and I can go out to dinner and talk about everyday life instead of being constantly surrounded by wedding colors, ribbon, tulle, and flowers.

ETA: Some of you people are very VERY rude.  How dare anyone make accusations and assumptions that a long engagement means that we love eachother less or that we “aren’t ready to get married.”  I will have the wedding of my dreams, I WON’T go into debt to do it, it will be on the date that WE want and mommy and daddy aren’t paying a dime.

We’ll be getting married when half the people who are flying into marriage now are getting divorced. 

Post # 62
Member
904 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

echomomm:  I’ve been with my Fiance for 6 1/2 years we will get married in 2 1/2 it’s extremely rude of you to think that anyone with a long engagement “isn’t read to be married.”

 

 

Post # 63
Member
2445 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

We were engaged for 2 years. We didn’t plan anything for the first year which was nice. Timing is everything, because I don’t think we would’ve gotten the wedding we loved if we did it any sooner. It was just the way everything fell into place.

Post # 64
Member
1039 posts
Bumble bee

kangaroode:  Depends on what you define as long. From what I’ve seen in the last few years, most of my friends have had 1-2 year engagements simply because they wanted specific dates/venue/vendors and highly rated options often get booked up over a year in advance. I’d say that 99% of these people finished college/grad sch awhile ago, have stable careers and are financially secure. Anything over 2 years would seem really long to me, but I can definitely it see it working for a couple that needs to work on finishing school/building up finances/etc.

Post # 65
Member
1344 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2016

My Fiance and I didn’t want a long engagement, but there are several other close family members and friends getting married this summer. We didn’t want it to seem like we were rushing to the altar, so we put it off til next summer. So it will be a full year and a half engaged. 

Post # 66
Member
4238 posts
Honey bee

amrx2015:  

For us, we got married within 6mos of engagement; we wouldn’t have wanted to stay dating/engaged for much longer than that, but we could’ve if need be. But, again, we had a traditional engagement: separate heads of households and then combined our lives/home through marriage. fwiw

 

 

Post # 67
Member
1262 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

We were engaged longer than we were just dating. We got engaged after 13 months and married a year and four months later. 

Post # 68
Member
57 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I think it depends on the couple and their particular circumstances. We had been dating forever, so when he formally proposed, we had our wedding within 6 months. We were ready and we could afford it, so we pushed along quickly. There are huge advantages to a long engagement and the same for shorter engagements. At the end of the day, only the couple can decide what is right for them.

Post # 69
Member
4027 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

BridetoBee2017:  here we go again! lol… And I guess since I bought a house with my boyfriend before he was my Fiance (sinful) then I must not be traditional in my values about engagements and therefore will take an unnecessary amount of time planning a wedding that’s almost 2 Years away! 

Post # 70
Member
904 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

 

Cheekie0077:  our house preceded our engagement as well! If I thought anything was going to destin us for failure it wouldn’t have been a long engagement! Hahaha 

Post # 71
Member
527 posts
Busy bee

I don’t really like them. I don’t feel that delaying is good. That said, I can see how circumstances could prevent a wedding happening quickly, and some commitment is better than none, I’d say.

Post # 72
Member
1284 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

I was engaged for two years, almost three! I am super happy with how it went. We were still in school and just ready to make a more formal commitment than dating. Frankly, I am annoyed by people who apparently have the time and energy to judge the length of others’ engagements …

Post # 73
Member
42 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: February 2016

Depends on the length of the engagment. I got engaged on August 3rd of 2014, and I am not getting married until February 14, 2016. So by the time my wedding rolls around, I will have been engaged for a year and a half. But I’ve basically been planning and buying things for the wedding ever since I got engaged, so most of what I need to take care of is taken care of. It’s just the big things now that I’m working on (the travel for the honeymoon, the photography, etc.). If I can have everything completely finalized within four to two months before the wedding, I will be a very happy bride.

 

As far as long engagements go, as long as they’re no longer than two years, I think you’re fine. After that, I think I would start to get sad as I would feel like the big day was never coming. Nail down a concrete, firm wedding date and set it in stone…don’t move it for anyone or anything unless absolutely necessary, and that way, you have a frame of reference to work with, and you won’t get a lot of anxiety trying to plan for something that seems far away.

Post # 74
Member
3446 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2017 - City, State

I think it’s fine. Some people already lead very married like lives and they don’t feel a need to rush down the aisle. Others may be delayed by circumstance. I don’t see a problem with it. Whatever works for the couple.

Post # 75
Member
151 posts
Blushing bee

I had almost a 3 year engagement & honestly it didn’t seem that long. We were building our home at the time he proposed so it put the wedding plans on hold. By the time we married we just had our 10 year anniversary (began dating since 17) We always knew we wanted to be together forever so we were in no rush. 

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