(Closed) Opinions on long engagements?

posted 6 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
648 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I’ve been with my Boyfriend or Best Friend for almost 6 years now and he’ll be proposing in a couple of months and we’re having a summer 2015 wedding too. So no, I don’t think that it’s too long, hehe:) We wanted/needed enough time to plan our wedding as the venues where we live book up 2 years in advance. Who cares what other people think:)? Just do what makes you guys happy!

Post # 4
Member
799 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

My engagement is slightly under two years and I love it. I have been planning and booking things and once I feel like I’ve done enough and im fed up I can quit. Plus I got 5 months of doing nothing, just being engaged and thinking of what I want. You get dibs on everything– not yet have I been told my date is not available. My ceremony and reception is booked. Dress is purchased. Dont plan on doing anything else until I want to. I love it. 

Post # 5
Member
424 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

We were together 6 years before we got engaged.  We went with a six month engagement just because we didn’t see the point in waiting any longer.  Now that I’m going through wedding planning, I don’t think I could handle any longer than a six month engangement.  Too much time to second guess my choices! 

Post # 6
Member
288 posts
Helper bee

I’m half way through a two year engagement and HATE it! It was nice that we were able to get any reception/ceremony sight that we wanted because nothing was booked, but I hate the wait. We also got a TON of sneers, laughs, and rude comments. However, Fiance and I don’t live together and that’s what I can’t wait for! Other than that, it’s nice to have so much planning time. 

Post # 7
Member
4031 posts
Honey bee

@CAWiley:  If it works for you two then it’s fine. My Fiance proposed on our 9 year anniversary, so we opted for 10 month engagement. I am ready to just married already and I could not handle a 2 1/2 year engagement, at this point. But then again, at the 6/7 mark, I didn’t feel a need to rush the process at all.

Post # 8
Member
14658 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

I feel like it’d be too long for me, but if it’s right for you, then I have no judgement on it.  Good friends of ours had a 2.5 year engagement, cause they had a plan and needed 2 years to save for it.  Obviously what works for some wont work for others.

Post # 9
Member
4605 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

Whatever works is my opinion on the matter. 

FH and I will have been engaged for a little over 3 years when we get married next March. Lots of people made comments about how we shouldn’t even be engaged, or that I didn’t need to plan anything. But, it was what worked for us. I’ve been planning my wedding for quite a while, and I’ve been able to iron out all the little details, and I know that the stuff I picked is the stuff that I really love because my opinions haven’t changed much. 

Post # 10
Member
3053 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2015

We’ll probably have around a 2 year engagement. I don’t think it’s too long, I’ll be graduating in the middle of it & if I try to rush it, I KNOW I’ll get completely overwhelmed. Screw people who give you strange looks, freaking ridiculous.

Post # 11
Hostess
3368 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

Fiance and I got engaged in December of 2010, and our wedding is this August. So about 3 years, and honestly I wouldn’t have had it any other way. It has given us lots of times to settle finances and figure out what we really wanted for a wedding. 🙂

Vendors thought I was NUTS at first, but now that we’re 4 and a half months out and I’m not running around like a chicken with its head cut off, people are realizing “oh, maybe planning in advance is a good idea!” 

Post # 12
Member
2224 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

We’re going Summer 2015 too! Nothing to be ashamed of. It’s awesome having our pick of vendors! It lets us save money and get moved in together and established, all the while having that promise of commitment. Who cares how long it takes as long as you are both happy 🙂

Post # 13
Member
11 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: April 2013

As long as the 2 of you are comfortable with the engagement length, then that is all that matters.  If my Fiance and I weren’t fortunate enough to have my dad helping with the cost of the wedding, then we would have had to have a longer engagement just to save up and to afford what we invisioned.  You are together, have made your commitment clear to each other, and know each other aren’t going anywhere so ignore the haters and do what is best for the 2 of you!  

Post # 15
Member
904 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

I’m looking at the same time frame as you – we got engaged on January 16th, and we won’t be getting married until the end of September 2015.  Money is definitely the biggest reason – this year is for knocking out our credit card debt, next year is for saving up a down payment for a house, and THEN we’ll worry about the wedding. 

I love planning, so I’m using the extra time to try and work out as many details as I can.  I’d much rather wait than be rushed!

Post # 16
Member
2553 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@CAWiley:  2.5 years is waaaay too long for me. We are only having a 15 month engagement and its driving me nuts. I wish I was married in December lol!  If you do end up going with a 2.5 year engagement, I would REALLY suggest that you wait until at least ~14 months to start planning. That doesnt mean you cant make a pinterest board and stalk the Bee and Style Me Pretty…just dont buy anything and set venues/vendors in stone unless the one you are set on really books up that fast. For example, many brides jump in and buy a dress now, but I promise, your taste will change. You will end up regretting some of your choices if you start now.

ETA this is just my personal opinion and experience, a ton of bees have long engagements. Its just reallly not for me =)

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