(Closed) Opinions on paying for BM to have hair done professionally?

posted 5 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
967 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I think that it depends on your budget, and what you want. If they have the choice to DIY their hair, then you are not being innappropriate (you aren’t requiring them to pay). However, I will say that if I was a Bridesmaid or Best Man, I think that you paying for my hair would be even nicer than an extravagant gift.

Post # 4
3130 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@Lizzie123:  Its up to you. My SIL paid for all of our hair to get done and I thought it was super nice of her. ( it was a Destination Wedding for about 3/4 the bridesmaids) I am sure they would appreciate you paying for it and a smaller gift, or a nice gift and the option to do their hair themselves if they don’t want to pay 🙂

Post # 5
1938 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

this is a popular topic this week, it seems.


You can decide to gift it to them, if you feel comfortable giving them a smaller gift. It’s really up to you.  I’ve been in weddings where the bride surprised us right before the event by “gifting” us the hair we’d all opted into, and I’ve been in weddings where she didn’t, and I paid, and I guess looking back on it she gave us the spendiest of the gifts I’ve received because she wasn’t also paying for the service.


As long as you’re not REQUIRING them to get hair done and then also making them pay,  this is open for however you want to handle it!

Post # 6
4495 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I think its a nice gesture, but I don’t think you have to. Would you be okay with them all doing their own hair and not having it professionally done at all?

If I was given the option of having my hair done for free or getting a nice Bridesmaid or Best Man gift I’d take the gift. As long as it wasn’t a wedding themed gift. I’d only choose the gift over the hair if it was something nice that I could use after your wedding.

Post # 7
3402 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@Lizzie123:  I would pay for their hair to be done & get them a really special sentiment gift with a lesser budget.

My maids of honor (I had two) traveled from pretty far to attend my wedding & they gave me a scrapbook for our gift & I treasure it more than any of the other gifts I got because it was so special and represented time they spent thinking of me, my husband, & our friendships.


Post # 8
1599 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I’ve honestly never been in a wedding or known anyone who paid for all of their BMs to have their hair/make up done.

It’s SO expensive and it adds up! I say give them the option of having it professionally done (if they can/want to pay for it) or just let them know they can do it on their own.

I don’t think there’s any requirement for you to pay, especially if you’re on any kind of budget (like most of us)!


Post # 9
7736 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@Lizzie123:  If you want pro hair done, you should pay. Your wedding, your expense. Think about their budgets… they’ve already paid $$$ to be in your wedding.

Of course they don’t need to get it done. But if you go down the “pay for pro hair or do it youself”, make it clear that you are happy for them to do it themselves and it is not a problem. There was a post this week from a bridesmaid who was given that option, but she felt obliged to pay for the hairdresser because all the other BMs were.

Post # 10
2058 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I’d rather have my hair paid for than an expensive gift! I haven’t liked most of the bridesmaids gifts I’ve gotten =T

Post # 11
391 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I would much rather have my hair paid for than get a traditional bridesmaid gift!  

Post # 12
1227 posts
Bumble bee

If you have already discussed this with them, she has lots of time to save up $70. That is giving up a daily Starbucks for a month. 

That said, if it’s her option, she can wear her hair however she likes, even if that’s a ponytail. If you have expectations of how their hair should look, you should be prepared to pay. 

Post # 13
377 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I say do it! I paid for my maids and it was so awesome. We got to spend special relaxing time together before the wedding getting pampered and drinking mimosas while we got beautified. They all really appreciated it and they looked fantastic!

Post # 14
554 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

 It depends on your friends. I’d personally would rather have my hair paid for instead of a physical gift-but I’m very practical and don’t need a lot of things. I paid for my MOH’s to get their hair done in whatever style they wanted but it was only two people not seven. 

Post # 15
109 posts
Blushing bee

Destination wedding…you should definitely pay for the hair! If it were me I would MUCH rather have my hair paid for than a bigger gift! Paying for hair will be a gift to them.

But then I do live the UK where we pay for everything for the maids…from dress and shoes to hair, make up and jewellery!

Post # 16
88 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@CityBearBride:  I agree. I travelled for two weddings this summer and we did our own hair and makeup. It was stressful. We were running around the day before/morning of helping the bride with all the last minute details, and on top of it, doing our own hair and makeup, and on top of that, worrying it might not be to the bride’s taste, and on top of that, worrying that you brought all the hair and makeup materials you need in your suitcase on top of everything else.

We were on crunch time to travel to the weddings between work and it was just one more thing on the pile. This might be a different story if your bridesmaids are all talented with their hair and makeup. My hair is very difficult to work with in humidity, and I do simple makeup, not photographic makeup. One wedding we both forgot a curling iron, the other I forgot my good makeup. I would have loved that time to have a moment of relaxation getting at least my hair professionally done (cheaply would be ok) with the girls. I would have greatly preferred it to a gifty gift. Just food for thought.

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