(Closed) Opinions or advice please!!

posted 6 years ago in Money
Post # 4
213 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

We’re planning on keeping separate accounts but having a joint account for bills. A certain percentage of each paycheck will go into the joint account. And any purchases over a certain amount should be discussed. This way neither of us feels like we have to get permission to buy small things.

Post # 5
3471 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2012 - The Gables Inn, Santa Rosa, CA

We combined our finances right after college.  We had already been living together for 3 years, and it just made it easier to keep track of our finances that way.  I pay all our bills (and always have) even in college, I just logged into his account online and paid his 1/2 of our expenses.  And now that it’s all in the same account it’s just easier. 

We made a rule when we first did it– if either of us wanted to spend more than $100 we had to get the other person’s OK first– this was less about permission and more about open communication to ensure that we don’t both try to make a big purchase on the same day or something.  We also sat down and made a monthly budget wiht our combined income to make sure we were on the same page with our financial goals.  Basically, once all the financial obligations are met for each month (both bills and savings) anything that’s left over is for fun.  At the end of each month, any “fun money” that we don’t spend gets added to the vacation savings account.  

It also made it easier when we were ready to buy a house because we had just 1 account that had to be examined and cleared with the pre-approval, this made the process go very quickly.  

Post # 6
3776 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 2004

I say go ahead.  We (my husband and I) believe that what is ours is ours.  If you are truly thinking that he will think “Oh we have money in our account, I can sit on my toosh.”, then that is the true issue.  I personally don’t understand marriages where money is not merged.

Post # 7
2104 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

Have you guys discussed this at all? I think that would be the place to start. Surely if you’re marrying the guy, you don’t really think he’s somebody who would just sit on his toosh while you do all the work….I hope.

We chose not to combine, though we do have one shared account which we use for household repairs and when we dine out. He pays the mortgage and bills and I match that by putting money into that joint account. Otherwise, our money is our own to spend/save as we see fit. He makes more than me, but not enough that we live different lifestyles. It works for us.

Post # 8
2725 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

If you can’t trust him to contribute if you combine finances, why get married? Money/trust with money is a contributing factor to divorce. 

We have a joint account that both of our checks go into. After paying bills, we split the leftovers evenly into separate accounts. We can chose to do whatever we want with that money.

Post # 9
2196 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

We did and it was a great decision. We combined everything a few months after we got engaged and by the time we got married (about 6 months later) everything was really smooth, easy to access etc.

I take care of all the bills and it’s great to have everything together. As long as you trust each other it’s a great thing! Best of luck to you!

Post # 11
6124 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

@[email protected]:  We merged our bank accounts 15 months before the wedding.  Essentially after we engaged and moved in together.

I woud like to note that neither of us had any qualms about doing so.  Person A was not worried about Person B sittin gon their toosh or going on shopping sprees either. Why?  Because it was discussed in length prior to any merging!  He already saw how good I was with money, how I paid my student loans off, how I bought a frugal car;  I saw how he paid his car off in 3 years, how he paid extra on his mortgage.  We could see what each other did with money on the surface.  THen the dicussions went further into money stuff you could not see (debts – we had none, only his mortgage, spending limits, what to do with elderly parents, do we help family in need, charitable donations). 

Answers are not set in stone of course, things can be revisited, but the whole idea is:

a) can you see how responsible they are with money?

b) can you talk easily and openly about money?

Post # 12
10571 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2011

@[email protected]:  I really disagree with the secret account and think you should reconsider (especially once you are married).

There is absolutely nothing wrong with having a separate account that your partner knows about.  I don’t see how a secret account can be a healthy thing in a relationship.  How would you feel if you found our your SO had a secret account?

If your SO is a spender, maybe it makes sense for you to both keep separate accounts and just have one joint for household expenses only, but it’s still important to know what the other one is doing financially.

If you can’t be open about your finances, to me that’s a good sign that there are issues within a relationship that should be dealt with before getting married.

Post # 13
3303 posts
Sugar bee

We have one joint account for household expenses and separate everything else. Works for us and we share the bills.

The topic ‘Opinions or advice please!!’ is closed to new replies.

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