(Closed) Opinions please!! Guest list/food situation/FMIL issue

posted 6 years ago in Food
Post # 3
Member
41 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: September 2012

If you and your Fiance want a sit down dinner, and your venue can only accomodate 140, than I think that answers your question. You can only have 140 guests.

Perhaps you shoudl create an “A list” and a “B list” – with an earlier RSVP date.  Once you see how many will/will not show from the A-list (as your Future Mother-In-Law thinks it won’t be many), you’ll know how many more (if any) you can invite from the B-list.

Marriage is about compromise and priotization – and that starts with the planning! 

By the way your venue is gorgeous! 

And good luck – my mother was the same way.  She wanted to invite distant relatives I’d never met or heard of in my life, but that she thought were important and wanted to spread the news of her daughters marriage (“but they won’t come!”).  She didn’t know that a more appropriate solution was to send an announcement afterward to those who we wanted to inform, but didn’t have space to invite.  So perhaps that would also be something to mention to your Future Mother-In-Law. 

Post # 4
Member
8393 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

I’m in a similar situation and Fiance ended up speaking with his mom to cut her guest list down. I think it’s only fair that each family invite approximately the same amount of guests if one is paying for almost everything.

 

Post # 5
Member
2362 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2017

I think your Fiance should talk to his mom and let her know that you two would like to plan a more formal event with a sit down dinner, and that inviting 180 people isn’t an option. And you have to draw the line somewhere with whome FI’s parents invite especially since your mum is paying. To me it sounds ridiculous. But that is just me.

Post # 6
Member
2362 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2017

I do have to add that the space would make an amazing cocktail reception.

Post # 7
Member
674 posts
Busy bee

I think either event style will work in that venue. However, if you and your intended would truly prefer a sit down dinner, then sit down with him and have a conversation about who from his mother’s list is important to him. After that, consider having a talk with her together about how to trim the list.

I second the PP’s suggestion about announcements after the wedding for anyone who she simply wants to inform. Your invitations, a meal on your family’s dime, and your stress aren’t worth it for her to simply let friends and distant family know about the wedding.

Post # 8
Member
7902 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2012 - Pelican Grand Beach Resort

I would do the sit down, and just tell his family point blank that they can only invite X numnber of people beyond the wedding party and immediate family for their side. Let you Future Mother-In-Law know that is she give you more names than that, you will only invite the first X number.

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