(Closed) Opinions Please! MOH Planned shower 3 hours away from where I live!!

posted 9 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Should I suggest two showers to my MOH?
    Yes : (32 votes)
    74 %
    No : (11 votes)
    26 %
  • Post # 3
    1103 posts
    Bumble bee

    I think your sister made a mistake in planning a shower without asking you where you’d like it to be! I can’t imagine what she was thinking. Anyways, it may not be your job to organise your own shower but you can certainly pull rank as bride and agree to a 2nd shower since your friend has generously offered to do that. Just explain to your sister that you know a lot of people won’t be able to attend hers so you are going to have 2 so you can celebrate with everyone. Just be calm and polite, hopefully she will understand 🙂

    Post # 4
    339 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2010

    Definitely talk to your sister about a second, closer shower.  That’s way too much to ask of everyone (including you) to travel 3 hours for a shower…unless it’s made into a get away weekend of some sort?  But, that gets costly to all involved if you consider hotel rooms, meals, etc…Yeah, you need another shower that’s close to you.

    Post # 5
    3124 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: December 2009

    3 hours in a car? blah!  I would bring it up as nicely as possible – get that location changed.  I wouldn’t travel 3 hours by car for a shower, i would send a gift.  Even if it was a close friend! Too far to drive home, too close to justify a hotel. 

    Post # 6
    3709 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2011

    I am the sister of the bride in addition to being the Maid/Matron of Honor. My sister is having two showers and I am fine with it. I live in Charlotte, NC…she lives in Norfolk, VA…and ALL of our family lives in Florence, SC. So…one of the BMs (her Boyfriend or Best Friend since pre-K who lives in Florence) and I will be throwing the shower in Florence, SC where she will invite her friends from Florence and the relatives there (our mom, other sisters, aunts, cousins) that won’t be able to make the trip to Norfolk. Her other two BMs..one in Norfolk with her and one in Michigan will be planning a shower for her in Norfolk. My sister will attend both showers, all BMs will be invited to both just in case, and that way most of the people she wants to be involved…can be.

    I ran the timing and the theme for the shower by her to make sure she was cool…and the guestlist is up to her.

    Post # 7
    581 posts
    Busy bee

    Have the invitations gone out for the shower?  Since I’ve never heard of the Maid/Matron of Honor having total rights for hosting the bridal shower, I think having two showers is the way to go because of where your guests live.

    With your bridesmaid’s generous offer of a second shower, some of the guests will not need to drive so far.  As JamaicaBride said, sharing the timing and theme of both showers is a great idea (and a nice way for everyone to work together).

    I’m thinking that your Maid/Matron of Honor has received a guest list from you, and it would be fair for you to amend the list and let her know that Bridesmaid XXXX has offered to host a shower which will include the Maryland names.  This also breaks the news to sister and takes the load off the bridesmaid.

    While I appreciate that your sister takes her role as Maid/Matron of Honor seriously, she should not bully or exclude your other attendants.  The bottom line is that she should consider what will work best for you and your guests.  Two showers would be wonderful!  But then, I’m always up for a party. Laughing



    Post # 9
    151 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: May 2010

    I am having 2 showers exactly for that reason.  It is too hard to get everybody together when they live in different locations.  I think it is kind of rude that your Maid/Matron of Honor blew off your Bridesmaid or Best Man who offered to throw you another shower.

    Post # 10
    883 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: April 2009

    Nothing wrong with multiple showers.  It doesnt have to be a thing with your Maid/Matron of Honor, its just someone else who wants to throw another shower closer – 6 hours driving in 1 day?  oof!

    Post # 11
    3762 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: May 2010

    I agree that that it does seem to make sense to have two showers.  Your sister/MOH has already planned the one that will be 3 hours away and there isn’t much you can do about that at this point.  I would encourage/ask your local Bridesmaid or Best Man friend to throw a local shower and if your sister/MOH has an issue with it, then you need to put her in her place.  There is no reason that only the Maid/Matron of Honor can throw the showers, and it is totally acceptable to have 2 showers especially if there are different groups of guests. 

    Post # 12
    5822 posts
    Bee Keeper

    Glad you talked to her about it!  The shower is supposed to be all about the bride, so it’s nice that your Bridesmaid or Best Man has offered a second shower to accomodate everyone!  I’m sure your Maid/Matron of Honor will get over it.  She admitted that she was upset about it, and I think that it’s a good first step to getting over it.  Good luck with BOTH of your showers!!Laughing

    Post # 13
    333 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2010

    Absolutely ask for a second closer shower.  I’m about 2.5 hours from where the family shower will be, so that’s what we’re doing.

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