(Closed) Oppionated Friends

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
3148 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

@Cindy82: ohh what a “friend” who actually says that to someone. Im sorry that you have to hear that or deal with her. Honestly, this might not be the best info, but since she isnt in the wedding and acting failry negative towards your choices, maybe it would be best to distance yourself from her or alteast not talk wedding with her. (??)

Post # 4
Member
255 posts
Helper bee

Paragraphs would be good, this is really hard to read…

Post # 5
Member
1267 posts
Bumble bee

I didn’t have a hard time reading this.  I will say, though, that I think maybe your friendship with this girl needs to be kept at arms length.  Sounds like she keeps score a bit too much and isn’t afraid of hurting people with the things she says.

Post # 6
Member
274 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

If she “breaks up” with you over not being in the wedding party, consider yourself lucky.

Post # 7
Member
6661 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

Okay first of all, don’t ask this girl to be a Bridesmaid or Best Man if you were even remotely considering it at all. She will make your wedding planning a living hell. Second, don’t talk to her about the wedding at all. Change the subject and give vague answers. It sounds like she’s being a real stick in the mud about your wedding and in my opinion she almost doesn’t deserve to be on the ‘inside’.

And you don’t need to explain anything to her about the Bridesmaid or Best Man situation. If she asks, then tell her you wanted to keep the party small, don’t say anything about doing her a favor or picking only your best friends or whatever. Just say you wanted a small bridal party, but you are excited to have her share your special day with you since she is such a good friend.

Good luck and sorry you are dealing with this..

Post # 8
Member
344 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

sounds like a terrible friend and like she’s the selfish one. i’ve been to new year’s even weddings and they are fine! it’s a fun way to celebrate the new year.

Post # 9
Member
916 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

Those are some pretty obnoxious things for her to say!  🙁  Try not to take it to heart TOO much.  I’ve found that people who have been super opinionated to me are the ones who don’t really know what they’re talking, and I therefore should not take the hurtful things they say too seriously.  As for putting her in the wedding party…I say don’t do it.  If she gets mad about it, that sucks, but you wouldn’t be the one in the wrong.

I disagree with her about a NYE wedding.  I think it would be so fun to celebrate NYE with a close friend getting married!  And for people who value New Year’s more than your wedding, well, maybe you don’t want them there!

Post # 10
Member
7405 posts
Busy Beekeeper

she sounds so bitter. Sorry you’re going thru this. Just limit your details with her in the future, she doesn’t sound likes capable of being happy for anyone else.

Post # 12
Member
646 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Any friend worth her salt will not be mad if she’s not invited to be a bridesmaid. Hurt a little perhaps, maybe disappointed, but she should be excited to help in any way she can.

ESPECIALLY if you have a small wedding party. Don’t pick her, she sounds like a giant pain. You don’t need Bridesmaid or Best Man stress in your wedding. Pick your friends who sooth you, not aggravate!

Post # 13
Member
3482 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2011

Ugh. I loathe people who “rate” their friends based on stupid things like this. Does she seriously think all her friends have to ask her to be in their wedding party for them to be true friends? I’ve never been a bridesmaid. Darn, guess all my so-called friends who are married really hate me.

I don’t know why someone would get up in arms about a NYE wedding either. It’s not like getting married on Christmas Day when most people would likely rather spend it at home with their families. NYE is by nature a party evening, and if you spend it at a wedding, you get twice the celebration in one awesome event! So unless your charmer friend is needed to report on TV as the ball drops, you’re not taking anything away from her.

Post # 14
Member
614 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2010

All I can say is DO NOT ask her to be a bridesmaid. Otherwise you’ll be writing another post in a while saying “how can i un-ask this ‘friend’ as a bridesmaid?” been there, done that. Your “friend” sounds familiar. Perhaps she’s envious of what you have. She may not get that being in a wedding party is not about a ranking or a title, it’s about being a supportive and true friend. I would not put any weight on her opinion. If you have your wedding another day, she’ll have issues with that too. Do what you want without worrying about her. I wouldn’t even tell her about anything you are planning.

 

But this is coming from me. I had to un ask a lifelong friend as a Bridesmaid or Best Man due to a lot of drama(refused to pick and purchase a dress after months of knowing the deadline). After she did the same things to another friend when she was supposed to be MOH(she didnt have any kind of Bridesmaid or Best Man dress 4 days before the wedding) I called her out on her issues.  Then found out she actually hates my guts and hasn’t been my friend for a long time but she had expected to be my Maid/Matron of Honor. I wish I could take back all the tears I cried debating about whether or not to un ask her to be a Bridesmaid or Best Man because it wasn’t worth it.

 

But that’s my story. 🙂 a new year’s wedding will be fun!

Post # 15
Member
744 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Wow, that lady sounds like a giant pain! Who is she to decide on the day of your wedding?! If it works for you and your Fiance, that’s pretty much all you need! If she wants to come, great. If she has beeter things to do on NYE, forget about her and enjoy your new beginnings!

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