(Closed) Opposite shifts anyone?

posted 11 years ago in Married Life
Post # 17
Member
76 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2008

Been there, done that, got worse.

My husband is a physician and I am a biochemist.  He went through several months during his intern year of being on night float, but my lab requirements mean that I have to be in the lab every day from 7am to 5-7pm.  By the time I returned home, he was at the hospital, and he got back after I left for work.

Now that he’s in residency, we live in separate states.  I really, truly miss his night schedule, because even if we didn’t SEE each other for a week at a time, at least he was around!  Now, he’s just… gone.

I know it sucks, but just be happy for the time you DO have together.  I’ve found that so many people in a similar position wind up focusing on the time they don’t have together (you know, the whole "if we were on the same schedule we could do this…"), rather than actually making the most of the time you DO have together.  It may not be much, but if you have a strong marriage, it is more than enough time to continue to build a better relationship everyday.  One of my favorite things from his previous hours, when we still lived together, was leaving each other post-it notes for the other to find… nothing made my day better than coming home to an empty house and finding just a little post-it note (even if it just said "can you do laundry? love you!").  Now that he no longer lives here, that’s what I miss the most — sometimes, I still find myself looking for them in the morning or when I get home from lab.

Really though, just appreciate what time you DO have.  Because trust me, it could be worse!

Oh, and as for the whole sharing a bed thing… I have no idea.  Since I’ve had the bed to myself, I’ve slept better than I have the entire past year.  Of course I miss seeing him at night (when he was working hours that I could be back when he went to bed, even if he was going to bed at 8am, I loved ‘tucking him in’) and crawling into an empty bed is always sad, but… boy is the sleep great!  I wonder if we can just do the two beds in one bedroom when we’re hopefully able to live in the same area again in 2 years…?!

Post # 18
Member
7081 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2009

We’re about to head into this territory.  He’s an early bird and I’m a late bird anyway, but starting in July I’m going to a swing shift schedule 5pm to 1am most days… The twist on this is that I just found out that I got a grant that is going to require lots of day work as well.  We were hoping to switch FI’s schedule so that he started later in the morning and came home later at night, but with my days spent working as well, it’s kind of pointless.

I appreciate all the pointers, and am kind of sad that this switch is happening 18 days before our wedding (hello newlyweds, goodbye quality time!)

But julieulie is right- I should appreciate what I do have 🙂

Post # 19
Member
365 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2009

He works 6am to 2pm, but since he works at he airport & has to go through security, etc. he gets up at 4am.  I work retail so my shifts can be 845am to 5pm or 130 pm to 10pm.  A lot of nights, I’ll come home, go to bed around midnight and then he gets up at 4.  On mornings when I wake up and he’s still in bed, I’m always a bit dazed…. scared he’s overslept & will get in trouble at work.  Not that I’m saying it isn’t nice to see him, just a little weird. 

Post # 20
Member
286 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2009

OH BOY DO I HEAR YA! I work the gravyard 11;45P- 7:45P Sunday night – Thursday night with friday nights and all day saturdays off. My husband now works 9-5 week days and 12a-8a on the weekends., The thing i hate the most is not really being able to sleep together.

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