- 12 years ago
- Wedding: May 2008
Been there, done that, got worse.
My husband is a physician and I am a biochemist. He went through several months during his intern year of being on night float, but my lab requirements mean that I have to be in the lab every day from 7am to 5-7pm. By the time I returned home, he was at the hospital, and he got back after I left for work.
Now that he’s in residency, we live in separate states. I really, truly miss his night schedule, because even if we didn’t SEE each other for a week at a time, at least he was around! Now, he’s just… gone.
I know it sucks, but just be happy for the time you DO have together. I’ve found that so many people in a similar position wind up focusing on the time they don’t have together (you know, the whole "if we were on the same schedule we could do this…"), rather than actually making the most of the time you DO have together. It may not be much, but if you have a strong marriage, it is more than enough time to continue to build a better relationship everyday. One of my favorite things from his previous hours, when we still lived together, was leaving each other post-it notes for the other to find… nothing made my day better than coming home to an empty house and finding just a little post-it note (even if it just said "can you do laundry? love you!"). Now that he no longer lives here, that’s what I miss the most — sometimes, I still find myself looking for them in the morning or when I get home from lab.
Really though, just appreciate what time you DO have. Because trust me, it could be worse!
Oh, and as for the whole sharing a bed thing… I have no idea. Since I’ve had the bed to myself, I’ve slept better than I have the entire past year. Of course I miss seeing him at night (when he was working hours that I could be back when he went to bed, even if he was going to bed at 8am, I loved ‘tucking him in’) and crawling into an empty bed is always sad, but… boy is the sleep great! I wonder if we can just do the two beds in one bedroom when we’re hopefully able to live in the same area again in 2 years…?!