(Closed) Opps! Accidently invited far too many guests

posted 5 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 16
933 posts
Busy bee

NowraJanBride:  You said your dad’s mistake added 4 extra people. 4 extra people are not going to make a huge diffence in the overall budget. It would be the extra 36 people you invited over your budgeted amount. 

Post # 18
2705 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

NowraJanBride:  Yikes!  It sounds like an honest mistake and you are right, it would be rude to un-invite people.

It’s rare that you get 100% attendence.  On average I believe the decline rate is somewhere around 15-20%, sometimes a little more for holidays. So I would realistically plan for maybe 120 guests.  It’s still over your budget, but not as much and hopefully more doable.  

If cost is going to be an issue, you can always try and work with your caterer and venue.  Maybe you can cut out an hour of your reception, or instead of a full open bar you can just serve beer and wine, or cut back on some appetizers. 

Not sure what you are planning for a Honeymoon, but you could consider postponing for a while and doing a small mini-moon right after the wedding.

You could cut down your photography package or scrap the videographer (if you have one).  You could cut favors and welcome bags and bathroom baskets and all that unnecessary fluff.  You could make your own bouquets too.

If there’s nothing from the wedding budget you can cut, I’d look at getting a temporary part time job – maybe walk some dogs, clean some houses, babysit some kids, make some lattes at a Starbucks.

Or you can sell some things – clothes you don’t wear any more, DVDs and games you don’t watch or play.  Every little bit helps. 

Good luck, I’m sure it’ll work out fine.  And if you need more help, you can post your budget – I’ve found the Bees can give great money-saving tips!


Post # 19
931 posts
Busy bee

Wow people are being kind of mean….

i am sorry you have an oversight/miscommunication and ended up inviting to many people. Like other posters have said….you can’t do much now.

Ive read that 10-20% usually decline so you might just have 20 or so extra…..

Post # 22
2190 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

NowraJanBride:  I think you’ve already gotten some good suggestions. But my piece of advice would be to stop stressing until you have an actual firm number of RSVPs in your hand. No sense in worrying yourself senseless if your final number ends up being right what you wanted. Honestly inviting 110, with a minimum of 100, is cutting it too close anyway. What if 15 declined and you were below your 100 person minimun anyway? Just relax until you have the final number. 

Post # 24
1317 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

CocoLoco523:  i agree. hope it works out in your favor OP!

Post # 25
3867 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

NowraJanBride:  There’s no polite way to uninvite people. Honestly, I’ve never been to a wedding where 100% of people RSVP yes. I think the only thing you can do is wait (and pray) that thirty people RSVP no. Which, if I’m being honest, kind of seems average for the amount of people you invited? I don’t know, but Fiance and I are inviting 140 and we are expecting between 110 and 120 to show.

Post # 26
4698 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

it is only 30 extra people.. I would let it go.

You delegated a task and didn’t make it clear to the person doing it how you wanted it done.. Short of disinviting people, what can you really do? 


Post # 27
1876 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

All 140 invited people won’t be able to come. They just won’t. Start thinking about what else you can cut back cost in other way incase you need to pay for more than 100 people (because you can’t uninvite people at this point).

Post # 28
1084 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

KC-2722:  Standard prices in Australia are $100pp minimum. 30 x $100 = $3000. That is a fair chunk of change if you were not planning for that expense.

I would start putting extra money aside each week, try and save money grocery shopping and sell any items around the house you do not need/use.

Fingers crossed it all works out for you!

Post # 29
1407 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Do not panic over this. Yes, there are weddings where 100 percent of those invited decide to come, but there are many weddings where there are plenty of declines. Had you only invited 110, you very much ran the risk of having less than 100. (In addition to those who decline, there will probably be those who RSVP yes and then are no-shows, sadly) The “average” decline rate does not really matter. It can vary a great deal. Wait until your deadline and then see where you stand.

We saved a lot of money by having a running tab for our open bar rather than going with the flat rate per person the venue offerred. The bill was actually hundreds less than paying a flat rate. And you can always tell the venue to cut off the open bar once a certain $ amount is reached.

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