(Closed) Opps! Accidently invited far too many guests

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 32
31 posts
  • Wedding: September 2015

If it’s any consolation, more guests = more gifts, and a lot of people will gift cash. Some very close friends of Fiance got married last year and received enough to cover more than half of their wedding expenses!

Post # 34
296 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I think you will be fine! We invited around 230-240 and had 185 come. You may be 5-10 people over big I really don’t think you will be that far off your numbers. Like PP have said, cut some costs in other ways to save some money and don’t forget that most guests will give the gift of money!

good luck!

Post # 35
645 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

We invited about 128 and 108 responded as attending, roughly. Several of them we people that we were guaranteed wouldn’t be coming, but RSVP’d “yes” as a surprise and actually did attend. So you really can’t believe anyone who tells you to just send a “courtesy invite” since the receiver is definitely not coming.

Anyway, if you sent out 140 invites I’d expect 110-120 to attend. There’s really nothing you can do about that, now. You’ll have to come up with the money.

Having said that, why does your dad think it is acceptable to add guests onto your list without consulting you? He should be paying for any guests he added that were not on your original list. I would be furious if my parents did that.

Post # 36
13663 posts
Honey Beekeeper

Also, your wedding is a long drive for most and may require an expensive overnight stay. So I think there is a good chance you will have more than the average 15% decline rate. 


Post # 37
9922 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

It’s unfortunate that there was a miscommunication between you and your dad, but ultimately, it’s your responsibility.  It’s your wedding, it was your spreadsheet.  You’ll have to figure out a way to shoulder the costs, since it’s incredibly rude to uninvite guests.  

I hope it’ll work out for you! 

Post # 38
2009 posts
Buzzing bee

I have a feeling you’ll be ok and that at least 30 out of 140 probably won’t show up anyway. If by some freak chance you have way too many guests, see if the venue will do a payment plan. Pay what you had budgeted to pay for and see if you can do a payment plan on the rest. Or maybe use some of the money you recieve that night to pay your bill.


Good luck!

Post # 39
15 posts

View original reply
NowraJanBride:  The formula we used was that you expect an 85% yes rate for in-town invitees, and a 65% yes rate for out-of-town invitees. We invited 215 (hoping to land at 150) with a lot of out-of-towners, and it looks like we’re going to come in at around 140. I think the key question is how many people live far away – significant travel is a big factor in yes rate.

Post # 41
3080 posts
Sugar bee

Duplicate post!

Post # 42
3080 posts
Sugar bee

View original reply
NowraJanBride:  Distance will absolutely will deter them. My 1st daughter to marry had about a 10% decline rate, with most guests fairly local. The 2nd one had about 30% decline – the venue was part way between both families – 3.5 hours east of his side, and 1.5 hours west of our side. Less than 50% of the further side attended. One wedding was the Sunday of our Memorial Day weekend (last one in May) and the other the Sunday of Labor Day weekend (1st in September).

Just don’t allow any add-ons or substitutions.

Post # 45
4044 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

View original reply
NowraJanBride:  We invited 135 and had 94 attend! Hopefully you will have a lovely decline rate like we did as well 🙂 Who were the extras you invited? Friends of your parents, or friends/family of you? We had such a large decline rate because my dad wanted to invite his coworkers (hes the boss) and some friends who I don’t know very well. 

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