Post # 61
My spouse would want me to find a new job too if I was really miserable but he would be pissed if I quit without another offer in hand. It’s something my parents taught me when I was 16. You don’t quit the job you hate until you have another offer lined up.
I think the Bees are reiterating a belief most people hold— it’s not cool to quit if it’s a needed job and it’s also not fair to your partner.
Re-eval marriage? Now that’s a beelievable stretch. Puh-lease. Much drama.
Post # 61
gingerminty: sept22insf: +1
A lot of people are getting hung up on “I quit without running it by my fiance first” and ignoring the seriousness of the liability/potential to affect license issues at OP’s former job.
Anything that could potentially affect her license has far more serious ramifications than digging into a well stocked emergency fund, IMO.
Yes, technically she should have run this by her Fiance first. But in the context of the situation as she has described it…
- plentiful nursing jobs
- savings account
- the statement that her Fiance probably “won’t be very surprised,” which I’m guessing means this won’t start World War III (and of course she knows him better than any of us do. Well, except for those of us who know it all, lol)
… I don’t think this is a big deal.
I agree that it would probably sound like a big deal to someone who lives paycheck to paycheck, has ungodly student loan debt, owes a chunk to the IRS every April, lacks reading comprehension skills, enjoys knocking others in order to feel more powerful, or all of the above.
Post # 63
PeachyMama: I don’t think anyone is saying you had to give two weeks notice. But an employer is bound to want a reference. Hopefully your old employer has a policy against talking negatively about you. If they don’t and a new employer calls the ‘she called in one day and quit’ isn’t going to look very good. I think that is the point. Professional courtesy is 2 weeks.
I see two problems in your post. 1. Your so isn’t being very helpful (or at least grumpy) in picking up your slack. A good partnership to me means that my husband understands if I am overloaded and helps willingly. 2. You wouldny
discuss something like this with him. You have kids, a life together and this is one of the biggest changes. It’s one think to tell him you need a break. Figure it out together. Another to just make decisions without any regard for the other. I wouldn’t be able to handle that kind of disregard for my needs in a relationship. Tell him right now. Or beg for your job back:
Post # 64
Perhaps it’s because I don’t have kids… But if the OP thinks she will financially okay without employment for a few months before dipping into emergency funds – then I would assume her and her family already predicted and know they can survive on one income until she finds another one. Yes the job market sucks but luckily she’s working in a field where it will always be needed.
As someone working towards a professional career – I agree that if you felt the job was compomising your professionalism then yeah – it’s best to jump ship and find another job. Cutting corners when you are dealing with other people life and safety shouldn’t be taken lightly… And unfortunately some employers do not give a slightest care which can affect their employees work… However I agree with other bees – you should’ve talked to your Fiance first. But I guess what’s done is done. Learn from it, let him know, and move on. Take a few days to recharge and then look for employment elsewhere.
Post # 65
BelliniChic: yeah, I have an 800+ credit score and substantial savings and retirement money and I still respect my husband enough to discuss major life decisions before quitting on a whim and hoping he doesn’t notice for a couple of days so I can relax in the bathtub.
Post # 66
I completely understand working in healthcare and being overwhelmed. In fact, I did quit my job last year (granted, Darling Husband and I talked about it for six months before I quit & I gave a months notice). I really hope you can use this time to regroup and recharge. You know your relationship with your Fiance better than any of us- hopefully he will be understanding of your decision.
Post # 68
“yeah, I have an 800+ credit score and substantial savings and retirement money and I still respect my husband enough to discuss major life decisions before quitting on a whim and hoping he doesn’t notice for a couple of days so I can relax in the bathtub.”
Guess you win, then.
Honestly – why are you getting so upset and caught up in other’s opinions that differ from yours. You’re getting kind of nasty and super defensive.
We’re all here to support. Chill out.
Post # 69
HannahGrace: Go back and read the part about how he’s probably not going to be surprised and then maybe you can connect the dots.
Not everyone has the same relationship dynamic. Not all guys freak out when their wives or fiancees quit their jobs. I know that must seem mind-blowing to you, but that’s your problem, not the OP’s.
Post # 71
BelliniChic: Aren’t you a peach? My husband would not “freak out,” but I would not put him in a position that it would even be an issue. Adult relationship, respect, communication, all of that. But you do you!
Post # 72
gingerminty: not upset. Bewildered. But I am over this trainwreck.
Post # 73
HannahGrace: Here, have a drink and calm down.
Post # 74
Call the restaurant where you use to work asap, as in today, and ask for some hours til you find an actual nursing job. Apply to hospital jobs now, it takes months for hospitals to hire. Also consider nursing homes. At least when you do tell your Fiance you quit the home health job, you’ll also have some form of income lined up plus actively applying for jobs in your field.
It’s not uncommon for home health companies to sometimes bend/stretch the rules and ask their employees to do unethical things. I’m actually surprised how much it happens in the healthcare field period.
Anyway… best of luck, working and school is very stressful. I’m doing it now and can’t imagine also taking care of 3 children, one of whom is sick. You and your Fiance need each other the most right now. Have a honest discussion about your needs right now, maybe he’ll try to get a 2nd job and you stay home full-time taking care of the house, children and Dr appts until you get the situation with your daughter’s health figured out.
Post # 75
BelliniChic: maybe he won’t surprised because this is typical behavior for the OP.
I would be blown away if my responsible, mature, level-headed Darling Husband did something like this. Especially without talking to me first.