(Closed) optional precana??

posted 8 years ago in Catholic
Post # 3
Member
179 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

Nope, it’s part of the process. We just started the pre-marital counseling with our priest and it went really well. Given the choice, I’d still do it. It’s a good chance to sit down with a neutral party and talk about our expectations, fears, goals, dreams. I think the engaged encounter might have a few cheesy moments but that’s marriage prep for ya  – I think we’ll get a lot of good out of it

Post # 4
Member
57 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

My fiance’s aunt & uncle talked about how they did not go to pre-cana but that their parish gave them an option to have a “sponsor” couple.  You do many of the same things (ie discuss expectations, concerns, etc) but with an experienced married couple. But, this was also something like 20+ years ago. 

Personally, I like this idea more than pre-cana.  I think that it would be more valuable than discussing these topics with a priest who, (I do not want to be rude), has no idea how these types of issues translate into everyday life as part of a married couple.  

But, my fiance’s aunt also said that it is not offered at every parish…and she knows that the church in general, had issues trying to sustain the program.  You may want to called the diocese and see if that is an option.  

 

Post # 5
Member
4385 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

So since I’m having an Anglican wedding, not a Catholic one, I don’t know how much this applies. We were given the option, and strongly encouraged. We’re planning on doing it! I think it will be interesting!

Post # 6
Member
2889 posts
Sugar bee

We did a day long course at a local Catholic center with friends who are also getting married. Our priest told us we must do it but okayed that we do it in a different location. Midway through the day when the couple running the precaana found out our friends were together for 11 years they told them they didn’t really need to do this. I’m not sure if it was a joke or not but they finished the day anyway.

Post # 7
Member
1580 posts
Bumble bee

We were given the choice between the weekend sleep over pre-cana or an 8-hour Saturday pre-cana. We chose the one-day pre-cana because it was a lot cheaper, we wouldn’t have to sleep over, and we wouldn’t have to spend a whole weekend doing it. I didn’t have a good experience at my pre-cana because it was boring and I didn’t learn anything, so I wouldn’t go again if I had the option.

Our meetings with our priest (we are required to have at least 6) are great and so much better than pre-cana.

Post # 8
Member
2066 posts
Buzzing bee

We weren’t given a choice.  Ours was two Fridays nights (3 or 4 hours) and a Saturday (7 hours).  It was interesting and we got a lot out of it.

Post # 9
Member
133 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

If a pre-cana is the wedding classes then we weren’t given a choice about it.  We were given the choice in either doing a sleep-away weekend course, a course run over 6 weeks during one night each week, or a course run over two separate weekends during the day.  We chose the last option.

If given the choice, we wouldn’t have done the courses as much of the material covered (if not all of it) we had already discussed before choosing to get married.  However, I will say that many other couples in the course did not seem like they had *really* touched on many of the topics brought up, so I can see how it would be valuable to a lot of couples.

I completely depends on the relationship you have with your Fiance and how much/often you communicate and how compatible your communication styles are.  If you feel there are some things you haven’t talk about that you would like to, then this is the perfect opportunity.  If not, just go and get it over with really.

Post # 10
Member
4123 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

Shoot, I commented earlier but I guess it didn’t post!

Pre-cana is a requirement for the Sacrament of Marriage. It’s no different than parents attending baptism classes, children attending classes for Reconciliation and First Communion… or the 1-2 years as a teen you spend preparing for Confirmation. At the end of the day, pre-cana is actually easier and a much lighter intensity than the others… comparatively. 

We did the engaged encounter weekend for our pre-cana. It was long and grueling but we’d do it again in a heartbeat. We too had discussed a lot of the stuff, but taking an entire weekend to focus on nothing but our relationship was awesome. They also offer Marriage encounter weekends and we totally plan on doing those from time to time.

Post # 11
Member
9 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: December 2010

PreCanas started about 60 years ago and everyone has to go to some kind of marriage preparation in the Catholic church. If you don’t do a PreCana the priest has to meet with you.

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