(Closed) Options! Maiden name replacing middle name?

posted 5 years ago in Traditions
Post # 2
Member
132 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

I did this for my first marriage, and I wasn’t happy with it. You rarely use your middle name in most situations, so my maiden name might as well have been gon — everyone just used First NewLast even though I tried to use all 3 names. This is why I opted to hyphenate the second time around.

Post # 3
Member
1005 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2017

Does that mean getting rid of your current middle name? I couldn’t do that as I love mine, but could your maiden be your second middle name?

Post # 4
Member
1249 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2018 - Banquet Hall/Conference Center

I am not married yet but I love this idea!!

Post # 5
Member
38 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: June 2015

I originally wanted to add my maiden name as a second middle name, so it would have been firstname middlename maidenname lastname. When my husband and I went to fill out our marriage license, we had to go over lunch and we were in such a hurry I forgot to include my maiden name at all. So now I have no ties to my maiden name, but I actually don’t miss it. Looking back, it probably would have been a hassle in some situations and I’m kind of glad it worked out this way.

Post # 6
Member
877 posts
Busy bee

I did this based on tradition and it’s just the norm where I live. I wanted to keep that connection with my family that my old last name provided. There weren’t any extra steps for me. 

Post # 7
Member
471 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: Backyard

I took my maiden name as my middle name. It’s been convenient professionally as I ccan use my full name and avoid confusion with those who knew me before I got married. What h has been slightly inconvenient is that when I tried going my name with some stuff, they didn’t change my middle name as I specified. For instance, I have a credit card with my old middle name and the state registry that I have to go through for my professional license didn’t change my middle name. Overall, I’m happy with his decision. I never liked my maiden name, but the thought of getting rid of it entirely was difficult.

Post # 8
Member
4556 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

I’m in the south so this is the norm around here. I did it for convenience really…and because I was becoming a smith and my middle name was popular too. I have a connection with my maiden name, but we plan on that being our future sons name so it’s not going anywhere. But, when I get something monogrammed, I will be using my old middle initial instead of my maiden name because I don’t like the way maiden name looks in a monogram lol.

Post # 9
Member
728 posts
Busy bee

I am not yet married but I plan to do this. I love my middle name, but my maiden name is what is on both of my college degrees and I am known by it because we are the only family in the United States with this last name. It is also tradition and I’m ok with following it. My only problem is my maiden name and new last name are both VERY long, so I hope I don’t ever have to use my maiden haha. I wish I could keep my middle! I will give it to my daughter one day if I have one 🙂

Post # 10
Member
3756 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2015 - Hotel Ballroom

I didn’t do this but I had a friend who did. She was quite pleased with it. Do what works for you 🙂

Post # 12
Member
1885 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

I always thought this was pretty standard procedure, if you will. My mom did this and she’s from New England; many other women I knew grewing up and coworkers who got married before I did did the same. So there was never a question in my mind that I’d update my name once married to FirstName MaidenName Husband’sLastName. (I also never liked my middle name, which made it even less of a question). I’m just now in the process of changing my name, but I’m pretty sure it’s the same process: go to social security office, go to DMV, change everything else. It is nice that when mail or anything else comes for me in my old name, it’s still recognizable. 

Post # 13
Member
8375 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

I also chose this traditional name change. My mother had done this and at least one of my grandmothers and one or DH’s grandmothers. This is the formal, traditional manner in which women in many parts of the US have changed their names throughout history.

I love my new name for many reasons. I didn’t marry until late in life, after I had a long-established career in my maiden name. I also was and am very attached to this name and was much more comfortable omitting my given middle name than my maiden name from my new legal name and signature (although my given middle name will still be connected to me throughout my life via my birth certificate.) 

This type of name change allows for a clear continuity of one’s identity and maintains clear ties to a woman’s family of origin. It’s much easier to know that the “new” person you see on paper (or via electronic communications) as being “Jane Doe” is actually the same person you used to know as “Jane Smith” if Jane Doe’s new name is “Jane Smith Doe.” I use all three of my names on all legal documents, bank accounts, credit cards, business cards, signature block in my emails at work, etc. I sometimes introduce myself to people by all three names, and, at other times, by only my first and last. My maiden-as-middle name is there to be used anytime I want to use it.

I have been very pleased with this name change, for all of the aforementioned reasons, and also because there are two other people I’ve discovered online as having my first, given middle and new last names, but I am the only person in the world that has this combination of names.

Post # 14
Member
612 posts
Busy bee

View original reply
Ziggy2112 :  Yup! You can have two middle names. This is what my mom did and it worked well for her. I’ve considered doing it too (with both husband and I taking my last name as another middle), but so far we’ve just kept our own names.

Post # 15
Member
2260 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

I changed mine so that my maiden name is a 2nd middle name.  I like that I didn’t loose it completely, but I don’t have the hassle of two last names or a hyphenated last name.

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