(Closed) Ordered the grooms suit but had nightmare MIL in attendance

posted 4 years ago in Grooms/men
Post # 2
421 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2016

If YOU hate it, return it! Our opinions don’t matter here. To me, this is less about a suit jacket and more about setting a standard for your relationship with her. If you let her dictate the suit, you’re teaching her that she can treat you that way. She obviously has no problem making her opinion known, so I wouldn’t feel bad about being just as open with your own opinions with her. 

Today, it’s a suit jacket. Tomorrow, it could be the decor or the food or any other thing. Down the road, it’s the house you buy. The car you purchase. The decisions you make for any potential children. SHUT. IT. DOWN. 

ETA: Forgot that you mentioned she paid for the suit. That does back you into a corner. If you can swing it, but the new suit yourself and give her the money back. 

Also, forgot to mention that you look incredible! 

ETA2: It’s also an issue that he let his mother steamroll you like that and will just go along with her. You need to have a conversation with him about how he disrespected you by being a bystander to her behavior. If he truly liked her idea better, he should have said it to you right then and there. Otherwise, he needed to stick up for you.

Post # 3
500 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2017

For what it’s worth, I think your outfits will look lovely together, but if you’re unhappy with it it’s irrelevant really.

Post # 4
32 posts
  • Wedding: February 2017

Is there a better jacket in mind? can you post it here?

Post # 5
9782 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2019

I think they go beautifully together. I like it, but our opinions on here don’t matter. It’s what you two think that matters, and more importantly whether HE likes it. If he likes it, honestly likes it and isn’t just saying that to please his mother, I think you need to let it go. Has he seen your dress and given you his approval of it? I am assuming not, as most brides (including me) won’t or haven’t shown their partner their wedding dress. A similar thing here, although the bride is usually more involved in the groom’s suit picking than the other way around. However, that said, I will probably have significant input into FI’s suit, but at the end of the day he is the one that has to wear it and he should love it!

I second PP’s suggestion of getting a new suit but paying for it yourselves and returning the money to your Future Mother-In-Law. Unless of course, your Fiance loves this suit and wants to get married in it.

Another possibility is getting the matching jacket in a smaller size, or if possible (I don’t know anything about tailoring) getting it altered to be a slimmer fit.

Post # 6
900 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

kreeneth:  I think it looks lovely but it depends what your Fiance thinks really!

Post # 7
836 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

Your dress is beautiful. I’m sorry about your mother in law. I do not like that suit. It looks like something that a funeral director would wear. Whether she paid for it or not, you both should have a say. She’s had plenty enough to say already.

Post # 8
3040 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2016

Well it’s your FI’s body and he whom needs to be happy/comfortable. It has nothing to do with you or your Mother-In-Law. 

So,…the first step would be asking Fiance if he likes it and if it’s what he wants. If he says yes, let it go. If no, then he needs to talk to his mother and request returning it. Then he needs to choose what he wants without either of you dictating. I would almost suggest he goes with a friend or on his own to not feel swayed by any sides.

I would also agree that he should pay for the suit on his own if his mother feels that involved in it.

Post # 9
3610 posts
Sugar bee

From the photo, I can’t see anything wrong with the suit. But the shirt and bow tie do not work with it at all. Completely mismatched styles.

Post # 10
7433 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

Your opinion on the suit matters a whole lot less than your fi’s. He has to wear it. 

Post # 11
1305 posts
Bumble bee


I’d be more annoyed with your Fiance than your Future Mother-In-Law. If you two agreed that he would get a tux, he should have spoken up and insisited on a tux. He should be battling his mother, not you.



Post # 12
223 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

Why does it matter what you OR his mother think? It only matters that he likes what he wears. Where is he in this?

Post # 13
3683 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

Honestly, since he didn’t speak up, and she paid for it, I think it’s fair she got what she wanted.  

Post # 14
1301 posts
Bumble bee

She paid for it, sounds like he didn’t say anything, so you’re stuck. Sorry! This isn’t a hill worth dying on. If you want a tux, pay for it yourselves.

Post # 15
47254 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

This is FI’s suit, which makes it his problem. If he doesn’t like it and doesn’t have the courage to stand up to his mother, picture the rest of your life.

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