Post # 16
This isn’t about what you like, y fiancée didn’t get a say in your dress and no you don’t get to treat him like a doll either despite your “wedding vision.” Be an adult and ask your fiancée what HE wants and feels comfortable wearing and envisions himself wearing for HIS big day too.
Post # 17
kreeneth: He looks nice in the suit but considering that you are wearing a very elegant dress, I tend to think a tux might have been more appropriate. What time of day are you getting married, and what is your venue?
Post # 18
I would prefer a tux to that suit, too, but I agree with PPs that it should be FI’s choice. He is completely absent from this story–with a mother like that, you have to be careful not to steamroll him, either.
Post # 19
If you two want a tux, just decline her money and go rent or buy a tux. Seems fairly simple to me.
Post # 20
this isn’t a hill for you to die on, or to get to worked up about
ultimately, she is paying for it so she gets some say… and it’s up to your Fiance to decide to stand up to his mother. The last thing YOU want to do is create tension now.
btw I like the jacket, I think you’ll look great
Post # 21
hellohedwig: I kept asking him what he thought, kept reminding him it was his day but we were both being drowned out. Im totally not into the whole i decide everything role.. We are trying to do most things together, he doesnt want to see my dress though.
I agree with PP’s about speaking to mil in regards to her paying and it giving her power, hes going to speak to her tonight apparently so we will see how that goes!? We appreciate the gift just not being spoken to like that.
He says he likes the idea of a tux, still now. So i guess after this conversation with his mum it may or may not be a turning point in sticking up for himself!
Thankyou for the compliments on my dress 🙂 and thankyou to everybody for taking the time to reply
Post # 22
kreeneth: girl, you do you. talk with your Fiance and ask him what he wants, regardless of what his mom says. if he doesn’t care (most likely answer if he’s anything like my husband) than go get the tuxedo you want and call it a day. you made your decision, it’s your guys’ wedding, and she has no real part in it (besides being the mother of the groom).
my Father-In-Law tried to dictate soooo much stuff about our wedding. he wanted it to be “beach causal” after I specifically said “resort casual” and thought that if people showed up in their bathing suits and without shoes, it would be perfect (um…no. it’s a WEDDING, not a day at the beach). I said, hell no and stood my ground. I know I came off as a mega bitch, but whatever. He still comments/says/tries to do/ask stuff to this day, but you can tell he already knows the answer before he asks. I don’t let his sh*t fly.
Post # 23
Astra: Our ceremony starts at 3pm in october so it will most likely be getting dark as we start/finish the ceremony. The venue is a theatre by the water which the reception and ceremony will both be held there, bridesmaids are in floorlength navy blue dresses with crystal embellishments on the neck. we haven’t gotten round to the groomsmen we were sorting his suit out first.
Post # 24
kreeneth: Ah, phew! I was happy to read your update. Sounds like it’ll be great if this is a turning point in sticking up for himself. I recommend supporting that effort, but staying as faaaar out of it as possible. Last thing you need is his mum turning on you. I’d just be polite and neutral, and if she brings it up to you reiterate that it’s his clothing, his decision.Good luck!
Post # 25
Yes, I have to echo pp above in terms of staying right of it. Once you have ascertained what he wants ( or if he genuinely doesn’t care) then let him handle her . If he ends up in a suit you aren’t that keen on but he really loves , I guess you will be OK with that?
FWIW, I think the pictured suit is a bit shiny and a tuxedo/dinner jacket would look far better , but it is his choice of course. (And I sincerely hope Future Mother-In-Law is not trying to push him in to a really ‘slimfit’ suit , one of those that simply look too small . Now there is one fashion which will date horribly) .