(Closed) Ordered the grooms suit but had nightmare MIL in attendance

posted 4 years ago in Grooms/men
Post # 16
816 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

This isn’t about what you like, y fiancée didn’t get a say in your dress and no you don’t get to treat him like a doll either despite your “wedding vision.”  Be an adult and ask your fiancée what HE wants and feels comfortable wearing and envisions himself wearing for HIS big day too.

Post # 17
4820 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

kreeneth:  He looks nice in the suit but considering that you are wearing a very elegant dress, I tend to think a tux might have been more appropriate.   What time of day are you getting married, and what is your venue?   

Post # 18
1888 posts
Buzzing bee

I would prefer a tux to that suit, too, but I agree with PPs that it should be FI’s choice. He is completely absent from this story–with a mother like that, you have to be careful not to steamroll him, either.

Post # 19
1301 posts
Bumble bee

If you two want a tux, just decline her money and go rent or buy a tux. Seems fairly simple to me. 

Post # 20
993 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2018

this isn’t a hill for you to die on, or to get to worked up about

ultimately, she is paying for it so she gets some say… and it’s up to your Fiance to decide to stand up to his mother. The last thing YOU want to do is create tension now.

btw I like the jacket, I think you’ll look great

Post # 22
1579 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

kreeneth:  girl, you do you. talk with your Fiance and ask him what he wants, regardless of what his mom says. if he doesn’t care (most likely answer if he’s anything like my husband) than go get the tuxedo you want and call it a day. you made your decision, it’s your guys’ wedding, and she has no real part in it (besides being the mother of the groom). 

my Father-In-Law tried to dictate soooo much stuff about our wedding. he wanted it to be “beach causal” after I specifically said “resort casual” and thought that if people showed up in their bathing suits and without shoes, it would be perfect (um…no. it’s a WEDDING, not a day at the beach). I said, hell no and stood my ground. I know I came off as a mega bitch, but whatever.  He still comments/says/tries to do/ask stuff to this day, but you can tell he already knows the answer before he asks. I don’t let his sh*t fly. 

Post # 24
223 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

kreeneth:  Ah, phew! I was happy to read your update. Sounds like it’ll be great if this is a turning point in sticking up for himself. I recommend supporting that effort, but staying as faaaar out of it as possible. Last thing you need is his mum turning on you. I’d just be polite and neutral, and if she brings it up to you reiterate that it’s his clothing, his decision.Good luck!

Post # 25
8787 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper


Yes, I have to echo pp above in terms of staying right of it. Once  you have   ascertained  what he wants ( or  if he genuinely  doesn’t care) then  let  him handle her .  If he ends up in a suit you aren’t that keen  on but he really loves , I guess you will be OK with that?

FWIW, I think the pictured suit is a bit shiny and a tuxedo/dinner  jacket would look far better , but it is   his choice of course.  (And  I sincerely  hope Future Mother-In-Law is not trying to  push him in to a  really ‘slimfit’ suit , one of those that simply look too small  . Now there is one fashion which will  date horribly) . 

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