Post # 1
My fiancee and I have been engaged for 3 years now. We’re practically married, aside from the fact that it’s not legal yet. We share everything, from bank accounts, debt, etc. We’re in the process of the wedding planning and it’s starting to get me down. I don’t have a single family member that will be at our wedding (no parents, siblings, or even cousins twice removed). I also don’t have any friends that will be attending. Everyone that is invited to the wedding is from my fiancee’s side of the family or friends/co-workers that are close to my fiancee.
I initially told my fiancee that because of this, I didn’t want to have a wedding. I’d just rather we elope but my fiancee wanted a big party, complete with fireworks (we’re literally having fireworks go off at the wedding). But my fiancee kept convincing me that everyone is going to be there for “us”…and not just my fiancee. I keep trying to talk myself into being okay with it…but after a few months of planning, I find that I’m depressed all the time.
I’m scared that I’ll be balling on the day of our wedding for all the wrong reasons. I really don’t want to do this but my fiancee isn’t giving me much of an option. Deposits have been made, venues/vendors confirmed, and invitations sent out. I was railroaded into this and now it’s too late to stop it. What should I do? How do I turn this around so that I don’t feel like this? Have any of you been through something similar? How did you deal with it?
Post # 2
Try thinking of it as your soon-to-be husband’s first opportunity to show you off to your future family, and a chance for you to meet and celebrate your new family.
Post # 3
- Wedding: April 2017 - Valleybrook Country Club
myprincess: I undertsand that you have no family in attendance, but is there a reason for no friends? Do you have a few close friends that could come for support? Or perhaps a couple people from work/school..? If not, you should still make the best out of it. He wants to celebrate you and your relationship and his love for you to his family and friends and that is especially sweet!
Post # 4
MrsSapphire: I moved around a lot as a kid (military brat) and took the fast route through college (all AP classes and heavy course load). After that, my career took me from one state to the next, working for the same company but in different areas with different people. So it’s hard to make friends. It worked well because I had attachment issues as a kid losing friends so I never let anyone get close. But now, it’s lonely.
But thanks for the advice. I’ll make the most of it.
Post # 5
myprincess: I think the PPs summed it up well. Think of this as an opportunity to meet your new family and future friends. I wish I could add more, but I think you will do great! Goodluck on your wedding day, and those fireworks sound really cool! 🙂
Post # 6
I can understand wanting to just elope (I actually did elope for different reasons) but in your case I really think a wedding would be better. This is your opportunity to make all these friends that you never had (FI’s friends and family)while simultaneously starting your life together. I do think you should voice your concerns to Fiance though and tell him how you feel because it’s not necessarily fair that you feel forced into this so you should definitely clear that up before the big day.
Post # 7
I’m an only child and an orphan, but my Darling Husband has also lost his mom so he understands why we wouldn’t want a big wedding. We had a destination wedding and I only had 1 person (my 8th grade teacher) there for me, everyone else was his family and friends. But it was fine for me because we were all becoming one big family anyways. I think you should try to look at it that way!
Post # 8
I could see how this is daunting to you! I am so happy that you found your Fiance and that he found you. He clearly wants to show you off and celebrate your love in the biggest and best way possible. That is beautiful!
I trust that he already considers YOU his family and hopes that you’ll feel comfortable enough to consider his family and friends as yours too! In time, you’ll meet and make new friends. Don’t stress your self out. Your wedding day is supposed to be one of the happiest days of your life. I hope you take comfort in the knowledge that your Fiance deems your special day fireworks-worthy!
Congratulations Bee! I am soooooo over the moon for you and hope that you’ll consider us your friends too :)! Best wishes to you!