Post # 106
justanormalgal : Omg that’s awful! She deserves whatever is coming to her! And i’m trying! I feel like moving out of my parents house a year ago helped a lot. I watch youtube videos all day on how to clean, organize, etc…I am trying to learn all that is housewife!
Post # 107
misstomorris : yeah sorry its a confusing story. I told them we’re trying to keep things small and cheap so we’re not having a wedding party after all, which is true…but the real reason is that they were complaining about everything and stressing me out arguing over the color of the Bridesmaid or Best Man dress and who was going to be Maid/Matron of Honor. I didn’t want to hurt their feelings by picking one over the other so I thought if they didn’t have to compete anymore we could just have fun, but now I think they are just competing more. When we bought my dress, they bought all these crown gifts and sashes and are still wanting to plan my showers, bach, etc. and come get ready with me whether or not they wear the pink “ugly” dress. Maybe thats them thanking me for not having bridesmaids actually! lol
Post # 108
justanormalgal : Not only a husband tragically dying, but statistically there is an even greater chance of divorce. In that case an inheritance in the husband’s name is not part of the marital assets and OP would be left to fend for herself.
Post # 109
brokebee69 : I’m really embarrassed for you. You’d be wise to close or delete this thread
Post # 110
brokebee69 : Umm, don’t assume that you know ME either. I grew up on food stamps, worked from age 16 to buy my first used car, bought used another and then I finally financed a car for the first time at 30 so I could get a new model and not have to worry as much about upkeep. I paid for my undergraduate AND graduate degree. You are TOTALLY missing the point here. I spend carefully TO THIS DAY and don’t live beyond my means, and I sure as hell wouldn’t care about a wedding if I had debt. I can marry the love of my life for $27 at the courthouse and I will be just as happy as if I’d spent some ungodly amount on a fancy wedding that is a want, NOT A NEED.
Post # 111
Wow this thread went 0-100 really fast XD
Post # 113
I don’t think it’s fair to tell the OP that she’s just waiting for her in-laws to die! That’s cruel.
OP, have you heard of the 80/20 rule? It basically says that you get 80% of the results from 20% of the effort (and 20% of the results from 80% of the effort). Right now, you’re focusing on the 80% of the effort that gives you 20% of the results. Picking up extra shifts, finding bargains, doing DIY – all of this is time consuming, difficult, and doesn’t dramatically change the big picture. It’s not bad that you’re doing these things, but they are not the most important factors.
In my opinion, the 20% of effort that gets you 80% of the results is: 1) having good credit (or getting good credit), 2) living within your means and 3) developing emergency savings. Right now, your credit is shot, and I’m not sure if you understand how serious this is long-term. You are also not living within your means, even though you have found discounts for the wedding.
I highly, highly encourage you to take a step back, see a financial counselor, or at least borrow a copy of The Barefoot Investor from a library. To make matters worse, it sounds like you’re surrounded by people who have poor financial literacy, so you might be getting told you’re doing the right thing even though from most people’s perspective, you’re in a dangerous situation.
Post # 114
brokebee69 : Bee, these are a lot of commendable accomplishments that you’ve listed here (saving up for a car, paying your way through college, etc.). Truly. And it sounds like you’re very fortunate that your future ILs are very generous. However. You are in the process of taking the advantages you have and trashing them for the sake of a party. You honestly seem to have no idea of how credit and debt can rule your future and dictate your opportunities, and you aren’t listening to any of the bees who are in more solid financial positions than you (and, as one PP mentioned, this isn’t just because we were all born with silver spoons in our mouths). Nobody is telling you to cancel your wedding. You can get married very nicely while spending very little. But you should not be “paying for your wedding with no money,” as your thread title says, and you should not be trashing your future in order to throw a party that you can’t afford.