(Closed) Other spinoff: how to dodge bad gifts?

posted 6 years ago in The Lounge
Post # 3
Member
4324 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 1992

Q: “How to dodge bad gifts?”

A: 

Post # 4
Member
4046 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I would like to find a way out of the minefield that is Xmas shopping too. A few people in my family set up wish lists at Amazon or Target (like a registry but can be set up indefinitely). Your Mother-In-Law could go to a store in person and buy the items right there. It’s a bit unromantic but worth it, when you can get someone something they really like.

Otherwise, ask for stuff you don’t have a strong prefernce on/will use and replace (tupperware, towels, socks) or anything that can be returned/sold on ebay.

Post # 6
Member
132 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

We e-mailed all the relitives last year and said, “seeing as we are all finnacially independant people who have all the things we need, let’s all contribute to a charity of our choice instead of buying christmas presents this year”. Not only did it go down fabulously, but they have with no prompting adopted the same strategy this year. 

Also, I just don’t buy presents for other people, so they rarely buy things for me. 

Post # 7
Member
2437 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@starbuck:  My family adopted a family this year, instead of exchanging gifts to each other we are bought  a family of four kids gifts.  We had so much fun shopping for the little ones, and it really made me realize the true message of Christmas: giving back. 🙂

Post # 8
Member
2968 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

my husband’s family does a secret santa type thing. they write down their names and list 3 things they’d like, so that makes it a lot easier. they don’t even have to put specific items, just a general idea of the type of things they like or are interested in (my brother in law wrote down the sports teams he likes). seems to work well for them.

my husband is always talking about how much my father in law hates christmas, and never wants anything, so it makes it impossible to know what to buy for him. but he doesn’t hate christmas, just all the commercialism/greed that comes with it. so i suggested that maybe we can make a donation to a charity in his name and my husband didn’t think it was a good idea, so it’s like we’re screwed either way :/

Post # 11
Member
6355 posts
Bee Keeper

The problem with giving a charitable donation is when it’s not carefully thought about as to whether the charity really represents something the giftee is passionate about.

Donating to a charity that is not something the giftee specifically supports is irritating. Even if it’s a perfectly great charity to donate to, it’s pushy. It’s like, “here, I donated my money to a charity of my choice, and you should not only applaud me, but be appreciative of it.” It really rubs me wrong. I’m all for the donation, but this is not a good gift idea. I’d rather the person just donated it and left me right out of it, because…. well they pretty much have, except the part where I feel obligated to praise and thank them for their action that had nothing to do with me.

HOWEVER, this is a great idea IN PRINCIPLE, which is why it would be a great idea for family members or friends to exchange short lists of a handful of charities they each deeply care about and would greatly appreciate a donation toward instead of a gift. That would be fantastic!

Post # 12
Hostess
7560 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2013

In my family we just do secret Santa instead of everyone buying everyone gifts. Also, it’s understood that gift receipts must be included! 

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