(Closed) Other than dress, is a bridesmaid expected to contribute $ elsewhere?

posted 6 years ago in Bridesmaids
  • poll: Other than dress, shoes, hair, makeup...Is a bridesmaid expected to contribute or offer $ elsewhere?
    Yes : (36 votes)
    38 %
    No : (50 votes)
    52 %
    Other...(explain below) : (10 votes)
    10 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    871 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    Shoes – I expect mine to buy their own shoes. Other than that I assume I’m paying for the rest. They contribute to organising an paying for your Bachelorette (Hens) and items relating to that.

    Post # 5
    Member
    871 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    @SamanthaLovesJames:  I paid for a portion of it. MY sister is refusing to pay the other $100. So I am up for an extra. Their hair and make up comes to $510. I am paying for that too. I have spent over $200 each for gifts for them too.

    Post # 6
    Member
    217 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: February 2013

    Mine are paying for their nails, dress, shoes, hair, makeup, and the bachelorette party (well, I haven’t recieved any money requests for it yet, so I’m just assuming lol).  Pretty much anything extra they might want as well (mine want to sweet heart their dresses and add a feather pin to their hair.)

    Post # 7
    Member
    4352 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    I expect mine to pay for their travel expenses for the wedding, their dress, their shoes (if they decide to buy new ones since they can wear any black dress shoes they already own so it should be free) and for any parties they throw (bachelorette and bridal shower).

    Post # 8
    Member
    3092 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    I think this is in interesting question.  I’ve heard of ladies providing everything, hair, makeup, shoes, travel, lodging etc etc and gifts.

    I personally feel like this is a bit excessive and the bridal party should be paying for their own.  I have been mindful of the costs however.  The Bridesmaid or Best Man dress is under 80 and is a black infinity dress that can easily be worn again…and the ladies will wear any black shoes they want.  Hair can be done however the ladies like as well as makeup.

    We’re providing lodging because our wedding is OOT and at an Inn but other than that I expect the bridal party will purchase their own clothing and hair and makeup if they choose to get it done.  I will make contact with hair and makeup and offer the bridal party to set up appointments.   

    We also have a very special gift package for each person. 

    Post # 10
    Member
    685 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: April 2012

    I got their hair and makeup done (which was by a talented friend of mine) and I paid for their gifts.  I think that when you ask a bridesmaid to be in your wedding, they are also agreeing to costs.  There are no guidelines that ask you to pay for the dress.  But, with that said, you should also be mindful of the costs you are asking them to fork out.  If you have single ladies, ask them if they would want to share to cut down on the costs.  Go to a mall and have them do their makeup.  It is FREE and they may require you to buy two products, which you could buy if you wanted as part of their gift.  It would be a fun bonding thing. 🙂

    Post # 11
    Member
    963 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2011

    In addition to their attire and travel expenses, they should contribute (time or money) to the bridal shower.

    Post # 12
    Member
    11273 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: April 2012

    i didn’t have a bridesmaid i had a man of honour.  it was my son and i paid for his tux. 

    my dh had his sister stand up with him.  she got to pick her own dress and she wore shoes that she already had.  she paid for her own dress and her hair too.

    mind you, she did nothing at all for the wedding or prior to it.  no shower, no helping with decor, etc.  we gave her a gift of pearls for standing up but that was enough imo.

    Post # 14
    Member
    7758 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    I voted other, because I think she shouldn’t pay for hair and makeup, but should make contribution to pre-wedding parties (bachelorette party and bridal shower if there is one), though these parties need to be in line with what the girls can afford.

    I have seen an Emily Post page saying BMs should pay for their “accessories” (i.e. hair, makeup, nails), but back in her day I’m pretty sure that didn’t mean getting professional hair and makeup at a salon of the bride’s choice.

    In my perfect world the bride would pay for dress and shoes too if she chooses them (the reasoning is pretty simple: bride’s day, bride’s choice so bride pays), but I realise that’s a hard tradition to break.

    Post # 15
    Member
    391 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    They’re paying for the dress and alterations.  I haven’t decided on shoes… but I’d love it if they could wear something they already own.

    If they want to get their nails, hair and makeup done, they’re welcome to it but I won’t be “requiring” it as long as they look nice on the day.

    I keep trying to hint to have my aunt help with the bridal shower so my bridesmaids don’t have to put in as much money.  The bachelorette party is also on the BMs so is the hotel stay the night of the wedding… they don’t have to stay the night before/rehearsal dinner night but it would be nice.

    Then again, this is coming from someone that wound up paying $1000+ for a friend’s wedding last year without having to fly anywhere.

    Post # 16
    Member
    3772 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    I would add on travel expenses to get to wedding.. and if a bridal shower/bachelorette is thrown by Maid/Matron of Honor they should try to chip in. As for hair, shoes, dress, jewelry.. the only thing I’m specifying is the dress and the color of the shoes (which is reasonably priced and half of them already have that color shoe) so if they want jewelry they can pay for that.. if they want their hair and make up done professionally.. they can pay for that as well (I’m not even paying for a pro to do mine so there’s no way I’d pay for them to get it done if they wanted that done. I’m having a Bridesmaid or Best Man who’s a cosmetologist do that for me) 

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