(Closed) Others getting engaged quickly?

posted 6 years ago in 20 Something
Post # 46
Member
328 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

I’m a rather young bee (21) and my Fiance is 23. We’ve been together for 14 months and have known eachother all through high school. We knew we wanted to get married after 6 months, but I wanted to finish college so we’ll be 22 and 24 when we get married.

A friend of mine married her high school sweetheart and they’ve been together for 7 years (married for 2 of those) and they’ve been having some real issues. Another friend with her high school sweetheart, have been together for that long as well, but he doesn’t want to even propose until they’re 25.

I think it just depends on maturity, your relationship, and willingness to work together as a couple. There is nothing wrong with a quick engagement if both people want that and are willing to put in 100% effort when times get tough. 

Post # 47
Member
221 posts
Helper bee

View original reply
akm57:  Honestly everyone is ready at their own pace. For myself my Fiance and I were together 8 months, got engaged and have been for a year and getting married in a month. Yet there was an old mutual friend who cut ties after thinking we moved too quickly who was with her boyfriend for 5 years and he has no intentions of marrying her yet. So it depends on the person. Everyone is different and it’s a mutual thing. I was not expecting to get asked the day I did and I wasn’t sure it was real to be completely honest with you. But he was ready and I didn’t say no because I was too.

Post # 48
Member
74 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2017

My fiancé and I got engaged after dating 8 months (about 10 unofficially), but we had been friends for 2 years prior and I even considered him to be a best friend and we had both already gone through a lot together and were extremely comfortable and open with one another already. We aren’t getting married for another year, but I know whether we got engaged now or 2 years from now it would still happen so we didn’t see the point in waiting. Every couple and situation is different. Some people are together 7 years before they get engaged and it ends in divorce whereas a couple could be together 1 year and get engaged and have the love of a lifetime. You never know. 

Post # 49
Member
166 posts
Blushing bee

Use this time wisely. Just think, you both will have more time to save and develop your relationship. Thats how I look at it.

Post # 50
Member
1227 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2016 - Painswick Church and the Falcon Hotel

Well, my husband proposed to me when I was 20 he was 27 after we had been together 1 year he said a year was more than enough time to know that he wanted to marry me. Don’t see an issue with people getting engaged young or early into the relationship. 

Post # 51
Member
1360 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2021

You can’t take what applies to one couple and apply that to everyone. My friend was pregnant at 19 by her boyfriend of 6 months, 8 years later they are engaged and have two kids and house are very happy. My cousin got engaged after 8 years of dating then broke up six months later.

There is no set timeline, some people just meet and click, they’re on the same page and feel like they’ve known each other forever so they’re ready to get engaged after 6 months. Other couples may not feel ready after two or three years. Just do what is right for you and your partner and stop comparing and judging other people’s choices. 

Post # 53
Member
480 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2018

My FH and I got engaged after being together for 11 months.  I was 25 and he was 28 at the time.  We planned for a fairly long engagement though, and our 3 year anniversary is 3 days after our wedding.

Post # 54
Member
253 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2018

Old thread, but…

Honestly, a lot of people have gotten engaged and/or married and I always felt jealous whenever I heard someone was getting married earlier than me, but it doesn’t matter in the end, since every relationship is different and no two relationship timelines are the same. 

 

Post # 55
Member
590 posts
Busy bee

I’d be interested to hear 3 years later if all these couples are still together? When I was in college almost all of our friends were coupled up in serious relationships that we all thought were headed towards marriage. If everyone got married in their early 20s they’d either be divorced or in pretty unhappy marriages at this point.

(This is not to say young relationships can’t work out – my husband and I have been together since we’re 18, but it’s felt like we were the exception to the rule in our group at least).

Post # 56
Member
15 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: January 2017 - Southern Highlands

I was on this thread 3 years ago (first page, miroch52) – I haven’t been getting emails from every post but for some reason I got an email from bostonbee2018’s comment. Anyway, my “FH” and I decided to call off the wedding that was set for Jan 2017 about 6 months before. We were getting ready to do invitations. The reason was mostly that my partner was going through a lot of personal change at the time that made him afraid to get married because he was changing so much (personal views mostly, e.g. religion, political views). When he brought it up with me, I actually agreed that I felt like I was a bit young to get married – the closer it got, the more young I felt. 

Fast forward to now, me and my “FH” are living together again. We never fully broke up, but after we called off the wedding we stoppped living together and just dated. It was pretty rough for about  10 months or so, but 1 year after moving out, we decided to move back in together. Things are going really well now but we don’t plan on getting married any time soon. I would like to get married maybe when we’re closer to 30 (only 22 now) but I’m not sure if my partner wants to get married at all now. He has a lot of friends who got married in the past 1-2 years, all religious, and he did not enjoy it. I’m hoping that in like 8 years he’ll be okay with a non-traditional ceremony and a party. We’ll see though. I feel like I cherish my time with him more now because I don’t feel so guarunteed that we’ll be together forever. Things are good. 

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