(Closed) ouch

posted 6 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
1498 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

How long have you guys been together?

Post # 5
Member
1498 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

@irish bee:  He’s probably getting anxious because he knows the time is coming soon. You know guys have PMS moments too! 🙂 lol

Post # 6
Member
335 posts
Helper bee

I would probe him to see what he meant by people getting “the wrong idea.” Maybe he was afraid your family would get the idea that you guys were planning to have kids in 1-2 years and he didn’t want that. Of course that’s silly because it sounds like it was just a light-hearted hypothetical discussion about names. Maybe you could reassure him that you’re NOT looking to have babies ASAP and are willing to wait until you’re both ready (assuming that’s true!).

Post # 7
Member
1157 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

I don’t think you should read into it too much. A lot of times guys say stuff in passing or without thinking what a woman might read from that. It may have been that because he hasn’t proposed and kids came up with your family, it made him feel nervous. Maybe he wants to get actually get to the proposal first and then will feel more comfortable talking with your family about kids. 

Talk to him about it if it keeps bothering you. Communication always keeps the miscommunications to a minimum in my opinion. And you don’t want to drive yourself crazy by continuing to dwell on it. 

Post # 8
Member
9669 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

Sorry you’re feeling low, but I agree with the other posters that more than likely he didn’t mean anything negative by that.  He probably was just feeling a little overwhelmed with the family stuff going on.  And you mentioned that it was a casual, lighthearted discussion with your family members, but his family may have an entirely different way of relating.

Most guys don’t want to feel pressured about anything, ever, let alone something as serious as getting engaged.  I’m sure he loves you dearly but he may be one of those shy guys who doesn’t want other people knowing how he feels.

Try talking to him when you’re calm and let him know what he said stung a little and you want to understand where he’s coming from.  It couldn’t hurt to “apologize” for the fact that he may have felt a little uncomfortable and you can clear it up for him that it wasn’t meant to be a serious conversation.

It sounds like a minor misunderstanding.  I hope so, for your sake.  I wish you the best!

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