(Closed) Ouch. My heart hurts! *VENT*

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
7431 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2009

@LibbyLoo: first off, ((HUGS)). Second, you already said what you should say to her here:

The fact of the matter is that she’s seen me as unhappy because I’ve been so upset with her for how she handled my engagement (I saw her two days after the official proposal and she didn’t even MENTION it – not a “congrats!”, no hugs, no “let’s see the ring!”, NOTHING!!  I was heartbroken and still am and as a result, I’ve pulled away from her because I don’t want to let someone who clearly doesn’t give a sh*t about my engagement rain on my parade so I’ve surrounded myself with people who DO care and who ARE happy for me.

I hope it all works out!

Post # 4
1415 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

It sounds like you are confident with who you are and your decisions, which is important, not to let her drag you down. There are some people who cannot stand when someone’s life is happier than theirs (at least they see it that way), so they have to convince themselves that things are not as good as they seem. But that is her problem, not yours. Good luck with the talk. 

Post # 5
468 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

@LibbyLoo: I hope you can get back to a good place with her. It is truly sad when a friend can’t support you and rains on your happiness. I had the same situation when I got engaged except I got a reaction… “really” isn’t that sweet? BUT after we had a talk (without me getting emotional and worked up) we worked it all out.

Also, your engagement isn’t out of the normal! We did the same thing because I wanted to pick out my ring with him but the proposal was still just as wonderful. The judgement isn’t needed and I am happy for you! It’s a happy time for you and don’t let it rain on one of the most important memories of your life. I know it’s hard and I wish you luck talking to her!

Post # 6
3799 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I’m sorry this is happening, first off.

Second, you need to ditch the email communication. If you live close, go to her house. If you are really best friends, you should be able to discuss this in person. Just tell her exactly what you told us – your dissapointment about how she handled your engagement and how she has been acting lately. It sounds like you gave up a lot to be a great friend to her, and now she needs to realize that. Friendship goes both ways…it can’t always be about what she is going through, she has to be able to have space in her heart to celebrate your life, too, if she is going to be your best friend.

Post # 8
304 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

It sounds like she might be a bit jealous? Is she in a relationship?

Perhaps she’s worried that now that you’re becoming and wife (and soon, a mother) that she is going to lose your friendship and this is her way of dealing with it.

It’s no excuse though and I’m sad this has happened to you.

I hope you can work things out, but if you can’t, please don’t let this ruin such an exciting time in your life!

P.s Congrats on the engagement!!!

A friend of mine had a similar, talked out, planned engagement like yours and honestly, they are the most beautiful couple! I think it’s a perfectly fine way to get engaged, in this day and age women should definitely have a say in the process!!!

Post # 9
728 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

hope the meeting went well! <3 


Post # 10
7693 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

@thanlon_88:  I am hoping so too.  It sounds like an anxiety type reaction to knowing your relationship with her will be changing soon, due to your marriage and future parenthood, especially since she is not planning to get married or having children. :-S

Post # 11
772 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

I think she feels abandoned.  if you moved out to support her, maybe she sees you getting married will take you away from her, when she has alreaady lost her mom.  Of course, you should get married, and it would be ridiculous to feel that way, but maybe you can try to get at the root of where she is coming from.  

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