Post # 1
Okay, so I knew going into this our first time would hurt. A lot. I kind of expected that.
I didn’t bleed but it hurt so much I cried and had to take advil after. my husband and I had played around a lot before marriage but never had sex, so we took it slow and got warmed up and used plenty of lube, I even had a drink or two beforehand to relax.
3rd time was today and it’s getting better but still burns…. I think that’s due to stretching inside me.
Any advice? Will continuing to take it slow be a good thing so that my body gets used to it? We’re going to take a break in a few days because I’ll have my period for 3 days or so. I’m just wondering if taking a break may help or if my body will go back to the way it was. It’s more of an initial pain… but it goes away. By the end I don’t feel pain at all, just some discomfort.
Post # 3
Lube can make it burn sometimes, you can look up the affects of lube online and see if it’s similar to what your feeling. Also, I wouldn’t reccomend lube for your first times, it makes it to easy to go in and it happens to fast. Natural lubrication is the best, it’s allows it to happen very slowly and when your really ready. It will get better, the soreness is normal bit the burning could be from the lube, but honestly you really shouldn’t need the lube.
Post # 4
lube can definately make it burn esp if you aren’t completely done healing from the tear (there is one). I would give in a week or so, let your body heal and then try it again. You are still sore from the first time. You will feel SO much better after you wait.
Post # 5
I would disagree, we had our first time this weekend as well (yay date twin!) and lube made life so much better. Make sure it is water based, our bottle of Astroglide is my new best friend. And honestly, it serious hurt the first couple times. But the more we do it, the better it is getting, it seems like it just takes getting used to. Also this may sound totally Too Much Information but having him do some to help get started before he just like…shoves it in there helps a lot too.
Post # 6
I agree with the PPs that lube is a lifesaver but it can also make it burn if you do have a tear. It will take a little while for it to become more comfortable. For sure, lots of foreplay to up your natural lubrication so you need less lube.
Post # 7
In my opinion it’s all about making sure that the lubrication (natural or bottled) is spread evenly around you. No one should ever just ‘shove it in’ as PP put it….ouch
The angles and positions how it is being done will make a diffrence more if you are feeling a burning/pain around the opening (TMI here, but I still get that in the back after 9 yrs of it). Be aware of how the position effects it and that will help prevent some pain in the future.
I second checking out your lube and making sure that there aren’t any words about stimulating either partner because that stuff can really hurt
Post # 8
Also, the couple day break will help – I ran into the same thing – a little initial pain but some stinging/burning for a couple days afterward. Give yourself a few days and you’ll be fine 🙂 Your body just needs a little time to adjust. Possible tmi, but it’s still a bit uncomfy at first even now – just need to reacclimated and get going – then it’s all fun 🙂
Congrats on your wedding!
Post # 9
I’ve had discomfort in the past when we’ve had intercourse around when my period comes, so that maybe part of it was well.
I would continue to take it slow and as a couple PPs said, sometimes a little warm up with a few fingers is good, your bodies lubrication is the best kind.
Post # 10
Lube definitely makes it easier, but from my experience natural lubrication is best unless you have a problem with that and you actually need help. We never need lube but save it for something different or kinkier nights. I find when we use lube, Too Much Information, I goes in so quick and I can handle it deeper which results in me possibly being sore later. Without lube I feel it happens a little more slow. You can feel when your really ready to go for it if you know what i mean.
Post # 11
@Amy43026: I’m guessing the OP is on the bcp or possibly another hormonal form of bc. This often limits natural lubrication – no matter the amount of time or excitement. Hence many women recommending using lube.
Post # 12
I didn’t think of that, I have been on the pill for 12 years but never had that issue. A friend of mine only recently started going through this, a little after turning 28. She now has to use lube because it doesn’t work without it….so yes, if you aren’t able to because lubricated naturally then please lube up 😉
Post # 13
@SimplyChic11: I never remember pain or burning from my first time. I agree, give it a week or so before you try again. I don’t see why lube would be needed, your body should make more than enough moisture naturally. That may be the reason for the burning.
Post # 14
I’m a month and change in , and I will say the burning will get better but after a little 2 day or so break ( i think the initial time leaves some “trauma” ” ) ! Also, I recommend trying to be the girl on top and even laying on him a little so you can control the amount in and the speed for a while. I found some traditional positions actually hurt more ! Kind like he was hitting a wall inside of me, it was OWWWWWCH!……….OWWWWWCH. So we had to adjust the speed and depth of some positions too.
I promise things will get better! Practice, practice, practice 😉
EDIT- I also wanted to add I have never used lube…..and I’m on BCP’s.
Post # 15
Just wanted to say, it will definitely get better 🙂 You just have to try different positions, speeds, angles, etc. to find what works best. And the more you do it, the easier it’ll become so you can experiment more, etc. Right now, definitely take some time between tries and also be sure if you aren’t getting naturally wet to use something so there isn’t as much friction.
Also: this may not work depending on what you guys are comfortable with, but the first couple of months my Fiance and I found that if he went down on me for a little while before we had sex, everything was easier – more lubrication and I was way more relaxed. So try either that or just have him give you an orgasm beforehand?
Post # 16
Maybe try a different lube, and definitely take a break. You’ve got the rest of your lives to work things out…and trust me, it WILL get better!