(Closed) our engagement has ruined our relationship… :'(

posted 5 years ago in Relationships
Post # 2
Member
5085 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: December 2014

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rumpunch:  Sorry bee, maybe he never really wanted to get engaged and felt pressured? Then became resentful of you because of it?

Engagement can be stressful for some people, but it shouldn’t turn your SO into a hateful jerk, that’s on him.

Post # 3
Member
2815 posts
Sugar bee

 

He sounds like a real prince.  You dodged a major cannonball there.

Post # 4
Member
2572 posts
Sugar bee

Sorry bee sounds like he is doing you a favor leaving he sounds like he is not ready to get married.

Post # 6
Member
112 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2016

Let me tell you- a friend had similar warning signs, they married, he cheated, she’s divorced. 

Post # 7
Member
356 posts
Helper bee

I’m so, so sorry to hear things have gone downhil since your engagement!!  This shojld be the happiest time of your lives, not the saddest.  Do you know why he changed all of a sudden and why things went south?  Is it stress or pressue of getting married?  Things do change when you get engaged/married, but it should be for the better.

I wish things could go back to the way they were for you.  You both need a break from each other and from the whole situation. Maybe this will make him see what a jerk he and his family have been to you and also give you a chance to reflect on things and move on.  A lot of engagements don’t work out…my first one didn’t.  I was heartbroken too, but I knew I deserved more and I eventually did find the love of my life and get married…and I had the BEST engagement and was very happy.  You deserve that!  If he says he would “rather break up than spend another second with you” then leave him.  You don’t deserve to put up with that kind of behavior from anyone! It’s his loss!! He doesn’t deserve you.  Hugs to you.  

Post # 9
Member
1314 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2017 - California

Is there more to the story? Suddenly changing like that and his family’s behavior with no other explanation is really odd. Getting engaged shouldn’t really change much (though in my case I feel a little bit more secure inthe relationship).

Post # 10
Member
122 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

Just be glad you know the real him before you gotten married. You dodged a bullet, be thankful for that.

Post # 12
Member
642 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

View original reply
rumpunch:  Don’t be too sad. Definitely normal to mourn the loss of a relationship but be thankful that you were able to get out when you did. Imagine you guys had already planned the wedding, actually gone through with it and then his true colors showed? And if you had kids that would be even harder to get over.

Perhaps the pressure was just too much for him. If he can’t handle life’s situations now, imagine what it would have been like with even bigger problems!

I hope you feel better– you can definitely find someone much better for you. Someone who will be ecstatic that they are engaged to you and whose family will be just as happy.

  • This reply was modified 4 years, 9 months ago by  luvely.
Post # 14
Member
642 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

View original reply
rumpunch:  I realized when I read over your post again and edited my post* sorry about that!

Post # 15
Member
600 posts
Busy bee

That really sucks, I’m sorry you’re going through this. I think it’s probably best to just dust yourself off and chalk this up to life experience. Your prince is out there 😊

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