(Closed) Our first wedding planning disagreement!

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
  • poll: How often do you have a wedding planning related disagreement with your SO/FH?
    maybe once every month or so : (31 votes)
    66 %
    once each week : (4 votes)
    9 %
    almost daily : (0 votes)
    other (please explain) : (12 votes)
    26 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    4014 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    I actually agree with you (logistics of your family and it being larger and more NC located). If your friends from Philly have already said that they would love to make it a trip and come to your wedding in NC, then I dont see what the problems is? Does he know that your/his friends have said this? ANd your right about “In my opinion, the friends who we care about us the most will try their best to be there.” I totally agree with this!  I guess you just need to sit down with him again and let him know that you thought this was already decided previously. If it is cheaper, give him some of that information as well (venues, food quotes etc). I’m not sure how you can really compromise on a wedding location, so someone is going to have to give! Sorry you are going through this!

    Post # 4
    Member
    413 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    I think wedding planning is a fantastic experience, it also teaches couples to communicate better. work togerther  and compromise. I’m glad you too have come up with a soultion that suits you both. πŸ™‚

    We have only had one slight disargeement, if we should have a DJ and a band at the reception. Apart from that everything has been fine and really easy. Best of luck with the rest of your planning.

    Post # 6
    Member
    413 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    @Pecan Pie: Glad you can move forward with your planning now Yay!! So exciting and so much fun. πŸ™‚ Yeh I like the idea alot of having a band and DJ, escpecially since we are having 260 people and there are two generations, we want everyone to enjoy the music. I liked the idea of alternating between the two during the night. Theres just something about live enterainment.  Only my Future Father-In-Law argeed with me so I decided to let it go. My partner came up with a good reason not to have both, we had already booked the DJ for 6 hours and the cost would be the same if we reduced the hours.

    Post # 7
    Member
    921 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    @Pecan Pie:Your poll and your issue are not related–this is a bigger issue and not a disagree ment. You need to talk to him more about this and have your family involved in your discussion.

    Are you parents giving you $$ for the wedding? My parents offered us money ONLY if we got married in my hometown.

    IN America, usually the wedding is supposed to be in the bride’s hometown.

     

    Post # 8
    Member
    1144 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: November 2011

    I chose other we haven’t argued about anything wedding related so far and we only have 2 months left. We pretty much want all of the same things so we haven’t had any fights about anything yet.

    Post # 9
    Member
    9029 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2011

    Yeah I dont get how the poll relates to the post either… I agree that the norm is to have the wedding in the brides hometown, if he objects to that then move it to a neutral state and then everyone has to travel

    Post # 10
    Member
    1489 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    Wedding Planning brings stress to any relationship so it is easier to pick your battles and whatever battles you go up for, be ready to listen and compromise if necessary

     

    Post # 11
    Member
    1935 posts
    Buzzing bee

    I find that I think my Fiance is right there with me in the logical deductions in my head and find out into our conversation that he is miles behind, so I need to go back and really lay out, step by step why I’m thinking a particular way about something – as you have done, and eventually, he gets it, we agree and move on. I think our brains have already considered tonnes of options, thought things through, while men just don’t think about it. So when we have a proposal they don’t understand why it has to be like that. Can indeed be very frustrating. The key in my experience is to take a breathe, remind myself that I think about these things and he doesnt, go back to the beginning and take him through my logical mental process.

    Post # 12
    Member
    907 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    How often do you have a wedding planning related disagreement with your SO/FH?

    Very rarely. I would say never because I honestly can’t think of one, but I’m sure we must have disagreed about something.

    Post # 14
    Member
    921 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    @Pecan Pie:Sorry! I wasn’t trying to be mean at all!

    Post # 15
    Member
    1733 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2012

    he is not into wedding planning at all

    Post # 16
    Member
    113 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: November 2011

    I agree with you that NC is better, I’m sorry he doesn’t see it πŸ™

    We have had wedding planning arguements I was really suprised when it happened and it made me sad. He tends to like to do things more upscale and I rather do it cheap. Orginally he wasn’t planning but he said he wanted to help so when I told him my plans he said it wasn’t good enough. I got really angry. He then looked up some stuff and found all of these expensive things we HAD TO HAVE. I was so stressed and lashed out at him because we cant afford to even think of these things and I thought it was a waste of money.

    But in the end I took a step back and he explained this is just his process, he needs to reserch first and find out what can be taken out and kept in later on. So I let go of my orginal ideas, he let go of his ideas after doing the reserch and checking budget and we are bit by bit found a nice middle ground for almost everything. Some things I let him control and some things he lets me control (like the diy center peices I’m doing)

    In the end it works out but we both needed to have alot of understanding and willingness to keep on communicating until we were both happy πŸ™‚

    The topic ‘Our first wedding planning disagreement!’ is closed to new replies.

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