(Closed) Our guest list has become The Blob.

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Bee
2362 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010 - New York Botanical Garden

I so feel you!! It seems like this happens to everyone – no matter what, the guest list has dramz written all over it!

Post # 5
Member
467 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@SouthernGirl: Can you guys fill me in on this? I don’t understand why your mothers get to help with inviting people? Is it just how it’s done? When Fiance and I decided we were having a small wedding we told our families and that was that. Nothing else was said cause it was our choice in who was invited or not. We’re inviting immediate family and close friends. I don’t understand how it grows so big?

I hope this isnt mean or anything. I just generally don’t get how it grows so much.

Post # 6
Member
786 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I dunno how it’ll work out, but you might be surprised. Our guest list was going the same way, and we got a lot of the “you have to invite so and so.” crap, but just this week we were able to get our final head count, and it came out to only 61 for the wedding ceremony (counting the WP) and 126 total for people who are joining us at the reception. Our goal was 50 for the ceremony, and 150 max for the reception. It was truly amazing how many of those, have to invite’s turned out not being able to come. Good luck though, I really hope it works out for you, I totally know what that feels like.

Post # 8
Member
1641 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

Our list started off at 50. Grew to 90. Then to 130! Then down to 87.

The “blob” is definitely a good way to describe it!

Post # 10
Member
1645 posts
Bumble bee

I don’t have any great advice, but I really wanted to thank you for referencing one of the greatest B horror movies ever. 🙂

Post # 11
Member
53 posts
Worker bee

don’t let your mum and Mother-In-Law have a list because it’s not their wedding, it is yours

 

So YOUR list should be it

 

If you don’t know partners of people then it’s ok to invite them on their own, if they’re married or engaged or you know them then it is probably best to invite (but again up to you)

 

for family we invited auntys & uncles (plus grandparents – 2 only left though) and 5 cousins (2 adult and 3 teens who did the ceremony music)

other than the teens and our flower girl we had no kids.

 

they can get babysitters, and after having been to BILs wedding recently where there were heaps of feral kids I’m so glad we had none!

Post # 13
Member
311 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

@SouthernGirl: I’m shy and wanted to have a small wedding partly because of it… However, while I understand when people say “its your wedding so invite only who YOU want”, we asked our parents who they thought were important enough to them to have there. Because when I think about the time, money, and love that goes into raising kids… I think that it’s worth an extra 10-20 invites to make our parents feel appreciated for all the food/school supplies/orthodontics/love they put into raising us, and who they would want to share and celebrate the marriage of their children with.

Growing guest list is a scary thing… but I think making the parents feel appreciated is worth it in the end.

Post # 15
Member
467 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@SouthernGirl: thanks for summing that up. I’ve just been a bit confused cause I noticed that not a lot of us Aussie Bees have had guest list drama yet and i was wondering if it’s just one of those things that is different. Like you guys are all huge on rehersal dinners and us Aussie bee’s (in general) don’t place any importance on it at all! haha. I was generally lost but that makes sense…. especially forgetting people! haha. I’ve done that before.

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