(Closed) Our Guest list….

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
1231 posts
Bumble bee

Whoever is paying has the biggest say in the number of people, especially when it exceeds such a large number!

I think its excessive to invite daycare parents and their kids. You aren’t a bitch, you aren’t a bridezilla. Say your peace. It is after all YOUR wedding. Fiance needs to be on your side with this, its his family, he shouldn’t be making you do the “dirty” work.

Post # 4
Member
1200 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

That’s ridiculous. I’m sorry but inviting all of the day care parents and their kids? It isn’t HER wedding!

 

And if she isn’t paying….

 

WHY is she making a guest list anyway?  I never even offered for FMIL’s input. Maybe that’s bad manners but I don’t care. I am paying for this wedding MYSELF. (FH is paying for honeymoon). FH and I will decide who is invited. Period.

Post # 6
Member
250 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

We gave my parents and my FI’s parents cap of 20 people (out of 100 for each pair of parents).  We’re paying for the wedding ourselves (the parents have all offered to help though), but thought they would have a better time if they wanted to invite some of their friends/extended family too.

400 people?!?! Yikes!  I agree with the other posters though, daycare kids parents?  That’s overkill.

Post # 7
Member
1200 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

Then say something like “our budget allows for 200 (or whatever) guests.  With family and close friends invited we’re at ##. Can you narrow down your list to 15?”

 

Or “the venue we chose can only hold ##”…. something like that:)

Post # 8
Member
2125 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

That’s crazy. I’d put the kibosh down emmediatly and give them a MAX amount of guests they can invite, citing financial reasons. I did this for my Mother-In-Law. My Fiance comes from a Samoan family and everyone knows they eat heavy and tend to invite their neighboors. I made a list of my family and friends that I’m inviting and I counted them out…and I’m allowing her to invite just as many family memebers/friends as I am….so it’s totally fair. Why should I only get to invite 40 people while she invites 100 or more? Doesn’t make sense right? Just say something…better to open up now. Also, I’ve divided my list into an A B C category…A being close relatives and friends who I wouldn’t dream of not inviting, B being people I haven’t seen in a while but who’m I feel obligated to and C being co-workers and friends of friends. the C list really doesn’t have a chance in heck unless we get a bunch of people from the A and B list who say rsvp no.

Post # 11
Member
2125 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Oh my…that’s so tacky! I think maybe and FB save the date…but then again..NO. Then everyoone on FB will know who you and invited and who you didn’t invite. Sounds like a disaster waiting to happen. Just say no.

Post # 13
Member
2025 posts
Buzzing bee

Ooh! You are so much nicer than me! I swear if I have over 75 people at my wedding I’m going to have a hernea.

I say make your list with you and your Fiance of people who HAVE to be there, and get them wedding invites. Then, go back to your mom and tell her to give you a list of say… 15 people. She has by “x” date to get you all the info, or the invites aren’t going out. And if she gives you a list with more than 15 people, you’ll select 15 people of the list she has given to you and those are the ones getting invited. The end.

You’re NEVER going to have time to meet and greet everyone with a list that large, so even though not getting invited is rude, it’s even more rude for them to show up and get snubbed the whole night.

Post # 15
Member
24 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: November 2011

You are being WAY too accomodating.  We gave FI’s parents two friends each that they could invite.  I didn’t want to look at wedding pictures and wonder who these random folk in them were.  Also, if his parents are not paying for the reception, it is my personal feeling that they have zero say in who will be invited to it.  Remember, it is your day, not your parents day and not his parents day!

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