Post # 1
My Fiance and I have been together for 4yrs now and things have been wonderful.
We recently combined our bank accounts and I just got our new cards in the mail last week. And I just got another new card for a totally different account today with Only my name on it with a hefty sum in it. I called my Fiance and he said I asked him if it was for our Wedding he said No. He said that I need to have my own spending money.
I know he was a little shock that I didn’t really have that much in savings. But I own my home and I pay all my bills on time and I don’t have any debit. He also told me not to worry b/c he is going to put $$$$ in the account for me every month. All of our household bills are paid out of our joint account.
Bee’s I am not sure what to think right now. I don’t know if he thinks that I am not capable of handling my own fiances or if this money is suppose to be some sort of an allowance, or a Holiday fund or even a just in case of divorce fund?
Post # 3
Hm, perhaps this is something that his parents did or he grew up with and just thinks is normal. Either way, I think you just need to talk it out with him. He might have had no other intentions than what he said up front, but a discussion should surely alleviate your confusion.
Post # 4
I would just enjoy it…lol
Post # 5
@ashasmith: It sounds like he’s being generous (hopefully)! Maybe this is something his dad did for his mom to be nice and give you some “girl” spending money without feeling as though you need to account to him for every purchase.
I agree with Kate02121 that you should talk with him and find out for sure.
Post # 6
I think you need to have a serious conversation of what you both expect. You said you combined accounts, but it sounds like he still wants to have seperate accounts. If so. whtat will be paid out of each account and how much will each of you contribute to your joint accounts. Darling Husband and I have a joint checking and 2 joint savings accounts. We do have seperate credit cards but the bills are paid for out of our joint checking. This works best for us but some people also like to keep their own account for numerous reasons. Just talk to him.
Post # 7
Woah, this is weird to me. Do you have a job? If so, I think it’s presumptuous of him to give you an allowance. If you wanted your own spending money, you could open your own account and just put some of your paycheck in there.
Post # 8
This is a little weird to me, but that’s because my fiance and I both have large salaries. If you’re not working outside the home, or if he earns significantly more than you do, then it’s a lovely gesture, although if you’re not comfortable with it, you should graciously decline the offer.
My Mr and I each contribute to a joint checking and a joint savings account out of each paycheck, and we use that to pay the bills and do house stuff; we also have a joint credit card that we use to buy car repairs, vacations, and other big-ticket things (we pay it off regularly but like getting the airline miles on big purchases). We also each have our own credit cards, checking and savings accounts. There really are purchases that are just for him, or just for me, and this eliminates any potential for arguing over do we really need that xbox when the old one is perfectly good. Plus it is far easier to purchase surprises for one another.
Post # 9
When I did talk to him about it he acted like it was totally normal. We didn’t sign a pre-nup and through out our relationship he has always been very generous with me and 2 my children on several occasions I know how much he makes b/c it is automaticly deposited. I do work pt b/c of my child’s special needs, and I have to be home to care for him. I am just shock by the amount.
Post # 10
Sounds good to me – he’s taking care of you!
Post # 11
I would be very happy to receive that! Like a pervious poster said I think he is just trying ot take care of you and I wouldnt read much into it
Post # 12
Thank you Bee’s. I feel alot better about the account.
Post # 13
I have the same “issue” going on right now. Since we moved in together, we’re about to open a joint back account and he keeps referring it as “our money”. He makes 3 times what I do and I tend to feel guilty. It’s going to take some getting used to, but I know I will. You will too 🙂
Post # 14
Maybe its his way of telling you to enjoy yourself, buy yourself things he cant get for you. I wouldnt worry about it, hes just trying to be nice and make sure you have enough money at all times.
If you dont want to use it then save the money he is putting in there & save up for a vacation!