(Closed) Our neighbors hate us!

posted 6 years ago in Home
Post # 3
9917 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

@NJmeetsBX:  Are you in DC?  


If your grass is too long, then you should cut it.  Some areas you can get fined for having grass that’s too long, as well as building without a permit (obviously).  Maybe they’re trying to be helpful.  Have they come over to introduce themselves?  Do you know which neighbors it is?

Post # 4
1137 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Ever think to leave them notes back? I’m a jerk and would probably do it. I’d also probably not cut my grass just to tick them off (pending you don’t have an HOA to monitor those things).

We’ve got a terrible neighbor as well. Refused to sign off on us getting a fence, so the only solution was to put one in on our property not on the line (it’s a townhouse, therefore property line fences). He makes comments about dog poop in my yard (when it happened about 10 minutes prior and I hadn’t gone to get the bag, plus it was my yard), and many other things. I feel your pain with neighbors like this.

Other option, kill them with kindness. Sometimes it works out better. I tried, failed, and have decided that being a jerk right back to him is the best solution for me.


Post # 5
1068 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

Starting a war with people you have to live near is awful.

Is it possible this is race related? Because that is a really tall hurdle to jump, but not impossible. (See Grand Torino)

I would agree with PP’s suggestion to kill them with kindness! Make cookies and bring them to people’s houses. Introduce yourself. Notes are totally passive afgressive. Likely they won’t continue to act that way if they are faced with speaking to you one on one!

Post # 7
4478 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

Man, that’s annoying.  I do like the idea of doing something nice for them, like making them cookies and presenting them in person.  They’ll be totally caught off-guard, especially if you have a friendly, neighborly manner.  Or they’ll keep being jerks, but at least in that scenario you know you’ve tried.

Post # 9
3375 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Do you have a neighborhood association? I sorta like HOAs because they keep neighbors in check (although of course they’re like nanny orgs).

I would leave a note on your front door telling your neighbors that you don’t appreciate, nor want any notes left on your door.

Post # 10
807 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

In the city where I live, the regulation is that your grass must be less than 8 inches long (seriously!). So…maybe look up what the regulation actually is in your neighborhood and send it to them? Tongue Out

There’s probably not much you can do other than just be polite and minimize interacting with them. Confrontation would probably just make things worse.

Post # 11
9917 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

@NJmeetsBX:  So introduce yourself to your neighbors!  Do you get along with the shed-builder?  Both of you should talk to the people who live there.  They’re not being super friendly, at least in your opinion, but it can’t hurt to say hello…


Is the neighborhood traditionally one culture, to which you do not belong?

Post # 13
1614 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

They are super lucky they don’t have us for neighbors because I would never put up with that. They would get very snarky notes back…my grass would be exactly as long as its allowed to be, and we would have loud parties until 11pm, (thats when the noise ordinance kicks in around here). They’d be going through mailboxes like its their job…& I would also have our grandparents sunbathe naked out back. Just to name a few!


ALSO::: Get your other neighbors and storm right over there with your hubby & everyone. They OBVIOUSLY do NOT like confrontation if they are note leavers. That’ll prolly put an end to the nastygrams!

Post # 14
10367 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

Our neighbors were similar (just moved to Berkeley a few months ago). We’re in a gentrifying neighborhood, and we’re white techies late 20s/early 30s in a neighborhood that used to be all minority but is now getting taken over by people of our demographic (it’s one of the last places you can buy a house for under $550,000 in the area). We share trash cans with our neighbors, and they would passive aggressively never take them to the curb or return them, blare their TV with the windows/door open (the weather is perpetually 68 degrees here so everyone always has windows open) and in general just be super passive aggressive towards up with the common area use (laundry). They’ve lived here for forever and I think they are being territorial.

Lo and behold, they needed a cat sitter in a pinch, made sure that we knew we were the absolute last people they contacted to ask, and I cheerfully obliged and said it was no problem. All of a sudden, they are taking the trash cans in and out, have quieted down, and have stopped messing with our shared basement space.

I think sometimes it just takes letting people know you aren’t a threat. It sucks, because I wanted to wring their necks, but now we have a peaceful truce because we took the high road. I think something along the lines of “Thanks so much for letting us know how things work in the neighborhood re: permits and grass height. We love it here – you’re so lucky to have lived here for so long!” or something could go a long way. Acknowledging their history in the hood might be an important step. No matter haw childish they are being!

Post # 15
12973 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Your grass is 1/4 longer than it should be??…THE HORROR!! 

I jest.

But really, what the heck.  This woman sounds like she needs a hobby, or friends. 

Post # 16
967 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@NJmeetsBX:  Those in glass houses eh?  Love the drunk guy…next time tape it and show it to her the next time she leaves a note 😉

We have a crazy neighbour on either side of us.

Crazy neighbour on the right (we share a staircase/doors right beside each other) accused my dog of peeing on her front step.  Um, no.  My dog is NEVER outside by herself and is usually on a leash.  and we would never let her pee on the step (she did once as a puppy when it had snowed, but it was on OUR step not hers and we cleaned it). Then she said that she “attacked” her visitor.  Um, again, no.  It wasn’t even my dog (whom is brown) it was my FFIL’s dog who wandered out the door and went right just as her door opened.  He’s old and poorly trained and wanted to say hi.  He’s also WHITE. and didn’t attack. I apologized to her visitor and pulled him inside. My Fiance freaked on her.  Since then she has been nothing but nice, especially since we’re friends with the other person beside her who is a construction worker and can help get good deals on fixing things in the condos.

Crazy neighbour on the left. We had put poop bags beside our staircase in front of the garage as we let the dog in.  I guess it had blown on her driveway.  She put a garbage can beside our staircase (which is against our condo agreement and WHY we don’t have one).  We would put bags there at night (like 10pm) and then put them in the garbage in the garage in the morning (pretty much everyone in our complex does this as well).  My Fiance put the garbage can out for garbage.  lol.  I guess she took it back.  What kills me is she doesn’t keep her front or her backyard nice looking and she LEASES and doesn’t own (guess that’s why she doesn’t know about the condo agreement).

So I feel your pain.

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