Post # 1
Me and the Fiance have limited financing for the wedding, we have been saving, but from the start we decided that we really want a medium size wedding with a absolute limit of 70 people, it is what we can afford and what we want. We are in agreement that we really do not want people there that we do not know- which means, no dates for our single friends. Which, I know, might seem strange, but we have ALOT of single friends we will be able to dance with one another and just have fun together. I have to add, having random dates at the wedding would push to 70 up to almost 100- which is a capacity we just can’t handle.
One of my friends (actually one of my bridesmaids has already spoken out about her problem with this, but I really feel we cannot make any expectations, i feel sooooo bad about it, but …yes, what can I say) I mean I really want all of your closets friends and family there and it will not be possible to do that if we invite dates! What do you guys think? Has anyone done this and what was the reaction?
Post # 3
I plan on having 50 people at my wedding so I know how difficult it is to keep it close and intimate. I would not feel bad that I can’t bring a date as long as I know at least one person there. I see the whole dilema about being seated with a bunch of strangers with not much to talk about..it can get kind of akward. But if the money isn’t there, it just isn’t there and your guests (the people who love you and will be celebrating your day with you) should understand.
Post # 4
There are so many threads on this subject.
Honestly, I know the day is all about you, I know that the guests should be there for ‘your day’.
But going to a wedding alone is booooooooring. Why can’t your special day be a special day for the attendees as well? And weddings are very romantic. They make a great date occassion.
But if money is the issue, offer for friends who are ‘single’ (not married or in a serious relationship) to pay for the guest. What a simple solution and one I bet everyone wanting to bring a date who otherwise wouldn’t be able to, would do in a heartbeat.
But… if the person is in your bridal party, they should get a plus one, no questions asked.
Post # 5
Having a date is always more fun but I would not expect a plus one unless I had a boyfriend.
Post # 6
I think single people can come without dates…
Post # 7
I guess as a single person I would just be upset that I was treated differently. Like other people got to have someone there with them and I was just expected to enjoy the company of the other single people just because we had the great common denominator of singledom. If your single friends know a lot of the other people there though, it isn’t so much of an issue and I’m sure they will have a good time regardless.
Post # 8
imo, single people can come without dates (assuming they aren’t living together or engaged) as long as they’ll know a bunch of other people at the wedding.
Post # 9
I agree that if they all know each other they’ll be just fine. The bridal party typically does get a plus one even if guests don’t, so if you did want to make an exception for your Bridesmaid or Best Man you could.
Post # 10
I kind of look at it compared to other events. What other celebration type event would you invite someone to where they were expected to attend by themselves? A birthday party? A BBq? Christmas/Thanksgiving dinner? I wouldn’t tell my friend they couldn’t bring a date to any of those either. I think that is terrible. Honestly, if money is not an issue, it’s pretty selfish
Post # 11
We didn’t let our single friends bring dates. They all knew each other and they al had a good time together. No one really complained.
Seriously, I think you guys have to do what you have to do. If you can’t handle them bringing dates, then don’t. Just don’t fall into the trap of making exceptions. You make one, then you’re going to have a snowball.
Post # 12
I think some people are going to be disappointed in your choices, no matter what you do! It’s the nature of the beast. I think that there’s nothing wrong with the choice you’ve made and you just need to stand strong on your decision and kindly explain to the RUDE people who voice their disappointment, that you simply don’t have room to accomodate more guests.
Post # 13
Define “single person.” FI and I were together for over a year and we lived together for nine months before we were engaged. We could still be deemed “single people”.
All but two of the weddings I’ve been to, I was there on my own. The two weddings I wasn’t alone were with Fiance (one a mutual friend’s wedding, one his cousin’s wedding) before we were engaged. There’s a difference to me between a random +1 and a SO.
Post # 14
I have only invited ONE person with a “and guest”, because I know that she will not know many others there and I want her to be comfortable. THe rest of my friends all know each other pretty well or are married/engaged, so their +1 was already invited.
Post # 15
I think you can make an exception for bridal party members since they are such an important part of your day!
Post # 16
Thank you so much for your inputs so far! Yes, alll our friends know each other, so no one will feel ‘left out’ and the thing is, most of our friends are either married (and we are friends with both parties) or singel, no one is really dating (which i only realized when we sat down to do the guestlist!). Some of you sound like I am offending singel ppl, that is truely not my intention- we have so little ‘space’ and money that I think we really can choose not to have stangers there. Our whole bridal party is also singel, just one couple are married-to each other! Wow, its diffucult to be a bride sometimes- keeping everyone happy! RESPECT to those who have done it! 🙂 also, in South Africa, where I live, people would be VERY offended to be asked to pay for their date- so thats a no-no- but thanx for the suggestions!