(Closed) Our ‘no random dates’ wedding- your thoughts…

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Would you be upset if you had to go to a wedding alone if you were singel?
    Yes, I think I should be able to bring a date : (15 votes)
    19 %
    No, not at all, I would love to meet and have fun with other singels : (45 votes)
    56 %
    I am indiffrent : (20 votes)
    25 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    5183 posts
    Bee Keeper

    I plan on having 50 people at my wedding so I know how difficult it is to keep it close and intimate. I would not feel bad that I can’t bring a date as long as I know at least one person there. I see the whole dilema about being seated with a bunch of strangers with not much to talk about..it can get kind of akward. But if the money isn’t there, it just isn’t there and your guests (the people who love you and will be celebrating your day with you) should understand.

    Post # 4
    Member
    3142 posts
    Sugar bee

    There are so many threads on this subject.

    Honestly, I know the day is all about you, I know that the guests should be there for ‘your day’. 

    But going to a wedding alone is booooooooring.  Why can’t your special day be a special day for the attendees as well?  And weddings are very romantic.  They make a great date occassion.

    But if money is the issue, offer for friends who are ‘single’ (not married or in a serious relationship) to pay for the guest.  What a simple solution and one I bet everyone wanting to bring a date who otherwise wouldn’t be able to, would do in a heartbeat.

    But… if the person is in your bridal party, they should get a plus one, no questions asked. 

    Post # 5
    Member
    4355 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    Having a date is always more fun but I would not expect a plus one unless I had a boyfriend.

    Post # 6
    Member
    9029 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2011

    I think single people can come without dates… 

    Post # 7
    Member
    3182 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    I guess as a single person I would just be upset that I was treated differently.  Like other people got to have someone there with them and I was just expected to enjoy the company of the other single people just because we had the great common denominator of singledom.  If your single friends know a lot of the other people there though, it isn’t so much of an issue and I’m sure they will have a good time regardless. 

    Post # 8
    Member
    4137 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: May 2011

    imo, single people can come without dates (assuming they aren’t living together or engaged) as long as they’ll know a bunch of other people at the wedding.

    Post # 9
    Member
    6394 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: September 2011

    I agree that if they all know each other they’ll be just fine. The bridal party typically does get a plus one even if guests don’t, so if you did want to make an exception for your Bridesmaid or Best Man you could.

    Post # 10
    Member
    3142 posts
    Sugar bee

    I kind of look at it compared to other events.  What other celebration type event would you invite someone to where they were expected to attend by themselves?  A birthday party?  A BBq? Christmas/Thanksgiving dinner?  I wouldn’t tell my friend they couldn’t bring a date to any of those either.  I think that is terrible.  Honestly, if money is not an issue, it’s pretty selfish

    Post # 11
    Member
    7779 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper

    We didn’t let our single friends bring dates. They all knew each other and they al had a good time together. No one really complained.

    Seriously, I think you guys have to do what you have to do. If you can’t handle them bringing dates, then don’t. Just don’t fall into the trap of making exceptions. You make one, then you’re going to have a snowball.

    Post # 12
    Member
    2104 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: April 2011

    I think some people are going to be disappointed in your choices, no matter what you do!  It’s the nature of the beast.  I think that there’s nothing wrong with the choice you’ve made and you just need to stand strong on your decision and kindly explain to the RUDE people who voice their disappointment, that you simply don’t have room to accomodate more guests. 

    Post # 13
    Member
    966 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2011

    Define “single person.”  FI and I were together for over a year and we lived together for nine months before we were engaged.  We could still be deemed “single people”.  

    All but two of the weddings I’ve been to, I was there on my own.  The two weddings I wasn’t alone were with Fiance (one a mutual friend’s wedding, one his cousin’s wedding) before we were engaged.  There’s a difference to me between a random +1 and a SO.

    Post # 14
    Member
    2104 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: April 2011

    I have only invited ONE person with a “and guest”, because I know that she will not know many others there and I want her to be comfortable.  THe rest of my friends all know each other pretty well or are married/engaged, so their +1 was already invited.

    Post # 15
    Member
    7695 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: August 2010

    I think you can make an exception for bridal party members since they are such an important part of your day!

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