(Closed) Our Priest Was Just Removed By The Diocese. Need Advice.

posted 8 years ago in Catholic
Post # 3
Member
1336 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2010

First of all I am sorry that you have to deal with this unexpected and shocking news.  Hoepfully the next person you speak to can be understanding in how you both are trying to deal with the aftermath of this situation and how many detials were already set up.  Is there any way that you can contact the diocese and see who is coming to your parish or temporarily taking over?  I would also ask for recommendations.  I am pretty sure another parish in the community will be understanding of the situation and may offer their priest’s services?

Post # 4
Member
3344 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

I would wait and see who they send to your parish as a replacement.  Hopefully he will be sympathetic about your situation and try and accommodate you.

Post # 5
Member
1135 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

This happened to us as well! We ended up with a new priest a few months later. Fortunately, we hadn’t started any of our pre-cana work with the original priest. So we were able to have a fresh start with the new priest. And despite all my worries (like he would find some reason not to marry us!), the new priest seems to be really cool.

In the end, we said a prayer that the new priest would be the one we needed for our ceremony. So far, he’s worked out really well.

But as much as it sucks, the priest is simply the witness to your wedding. You and your Fiance are the ones performing the actual Sacrament.

Post # 6
Member
4123 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I’m really sorry to hear this, I hope the allegations are false, and hope that people are still able to recognize any good he has done regardless, and pray for him… and his accuser… no matter if it’s true or false…

I’ve known priests who have been removed from duties from past accusations (from 20+ years ago) who have done AMAZING and holy things.  They are men, this happens in all churches, not just the Catholic church, and we must always remember to keep all who are in minister positions in our prayer.

I would give it some time… have you been in contact with a church secretary or coordinator as well as the priest? Perhaps, talk to them about your concerns, pray that the right priest is sent your way, and as Padre Pio said, “Pray, Hope, and don’t worry.” From what I understand, having the church wedding is key, and since you’ve already agreed to do that first, I would think it would be OK with the new priest….

Keep us updated, and I wish you all the best.

Post # 7
Member
400 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

Well i don’t know how to begin so i’ll just jump in if the first priest said he’ll marry you, but you had to have a small wedding prior in the church, was the church booked.   Maybe the new priest will perform the small ceremony at the church and that will take care of the catholic church recognition.  And if the priest is not available for the big outdoor wedding maybe you could find a justice of the peace or another clergy who will perform the ceremony,  You would have taken care of the catholic requirements.  I so hope the priest put you on the church schedule.

Post # 8
Member
342 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

I’m sorry to hear about the situation, I’m sure its traumatizing to have to deal with.  Hopefully the parish will be understand and helpful!

And btw – KLP2010 I find your attitude really distubing here – because priests are “holy”  and”men” and “this happens in all churches” they get a pass on molesting their parishoners? Um, no.  In My Humble Opinion they (or rabbis, or any other christian preachers) should be held to an even higher standard because they’re in a position of power and trust over those parishioners.  i don’t care how many good works you do afterwards, molesting someone (esp. at a young age) can destroy that persons life, not to mention how they relate to other people emotionally.

Post # 9
Member
259 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2010

I can’t help with the finding a new priest part, but I do understand how it feels to have someone you’ve always imagined would be a part of your wedding end up not being there for a horrible reason like that.  The musician I’d always thought would play at my wedding won’t be able to do it for similar reasons.  He was arrested 6 or 7 years ago and is out of jail now, but it would be way too weird to ask him to play.  I met with another guitar player last weekend and he was really cool, but I still had a little sadness that it wasn’t Mr. G. even after all the bad stuff he did.

Post # 10
Member
4567 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

Wow, that really, really, really stinks. I hope you find someone to do it. I can’t imagine the dioses pulling him on a whim, though- it sounds like some serious allegations but that’s still a huge bummer. I’m sure things will come to light and he’ll be cleared  of all misunderstanding.

Post # 11
Member
4123 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

@ april – I am in NO WAY condoning sexual abuse, assault, or any other perverted, unholy, or illegal activity. “we must always remember to keep all who are in minister positions in our prayer.” “pray for him… and his accuser… no matter if it’s true or false…”

 

Those who are in ministry positions are in a very unique, and heavily spiritually attacked position.  Those who DO GREAT THINGS are sometimes most at risk for spiritual attack and can give in to do something that is horrible and most regrettable.  These things affect the person who has been abused, the priest, and the entire parish family.  It is CRUCIAL to keep the accuser and the priest in our prayers.  

As Jesus did, Love this sinner, hate the sin.  Even the Pope forgave the man who shot him… but didn’t condone his actions.  So, I find it disturbing that you are willing to let a man who has not yet been found guilty, have every good deed he DID do (like reach out to and minister to the OP) be completely discounted and find it disturbing that I suggested prayers are needed for BOTH parties, again… accuser and Priest.  No matter the outcome, lots of healing will be needed in this situation, because whether this incident IS true or false, this post is evidence enough of how this affects the parish and church body as a whole.

An awesome priest, Fr. Larry Richards (look him up, he has books, tapes, and other awesome stuff), will always end by asking for prayers… because he is a man, and doing the Lords work, and there are other powers that do NOT want that happening. So please, pray for your pastor, priest, rabbi, youth minister, and even school teachers all who are in a position of guidance… 

OK, back to the topic at hand, please, let’s not start a flame war, this is about a very sad situation that the OP is facing… let’s help her find a solution.

Post # 13
Member
347 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

First of all I’m very sorry to hear that sad news.  I’ve been through something similiar in my parish, though it wasn’t my priest.  Basically a man who was heavily involved in youth ministry since I was 11 years old, and has been teaching CCD for years was arrested last year for having hundreds of files of child pornography on his computer.  My family knew him pretty well so it was amazingly shocking.  And the toll on his wife was even more shocking.  A stranger would just alienate his entire family, but we had to deal with her tears over the phone.

Its really just something you have to process.  About a year after it occured, I saw him in the confession line.  I was surprised to see him, but I realized in his time of repentance, he was looking for mercy.  How hard it must be for him to even step foot inside the Church when everyone knows what he had been doing.

As for finding a new priest.  Well, good luck with that.  Canon Law actually prohibts what your priest was promising to do for you with having the two weddings.  But that isn’t to say there aren’t priests who bend the rules.

I know its difficult to give up your dream ceremony.  I’ve been planning a Traditional Latin Mass wedding for the past year and I was just notified yesterday that the chior director who was going to be organizing my music could not get anyone to commit to sing for my wedding.  Not many people know how to sing Georigian chant, and even if I had an English Mass, I’d still want the traditional chant rather than the modern hymns.  I have no idea if I’m going to be able to find a replacement.  I very well may bore my guests with having a Latin Low Mass which means no music.  But the important thing is getting married, so maybe I’ll just have to go with a ceremony I like less for the sake of my guests to not be bored out of their minds with a Low Mass.  I have no idea.

Post # 14
Member
4123 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

@ Two Angels – I think the plan was to have a small intimate Catholic Church ceremony, and then for the “full wedding” day do basically a restatement of vows in front of the rest of the guests.  Since their marriage would be preformed FIRST and fully in the church, I’m not sure why Canon Law would prevent a restatement of vows in a public place.  Where in Canon law is that? I’d love to read up on it if so….

shesgotchutzpah – I’m really happy to read your response.  It seems like things have calmed down emotionally a bit for you and your attitude and outlook on the situation is inspiring.  Keep up the good faith!

Post # 15
Member
347 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

http://www.vatican.va/archive/ENG1104/__P41.HTM

Canon 1127  “It is forbidden to have another religious celebration of the same marriage to give or renew matrimonial consent before or after the canonical celebration according to the norm of  Likewise, there is not to be a religious celebration in which the Catholic who is assisting and a non-Catholic minister together, using their own rites, ask for the consent of the parties.”

Its important to know that priests are not Canon lawyers, and don’t always know the details of what Canon Law requires, and others think they’re silly.

This site offers some insite as to why they have this law.

http://catholicweddinghelp.com/questions/separate-ceremonies.htm

Granted, it seems silly that he’d have them do a separate ceremony when Canon Law allows priests to give permission to have your wedding at an appropriate location outside of a Catholic Church.  Of course, the problem is that gardens are not typically considered reverant enough of locations to have weddings.  Though I’ve heard people talk about sacred ground and I’ve sometimes wondered if having your wedding at a Catholic cemetary would somehow be a work around…just a funny thought.  I think though a couple may have an argument to get married on the steps going into the Church. 

The topic ‘Our Priest Was Just Removed By The Diocese. Need Advice.’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors