- 9 years ago
- Wedding: October 2010
This is really hard for me to talk about as I’m pretty upset about the situation and not sure what to think or where to begin. I hope that you guys may be able to offer me some advice and understanding about the situation.
My fiance and I were supposed to be married by our family priest – 9 months from today. Except a few weeks ago our priest “went missing”. Today an announcement was made that the Diocese has removed him from our parish and relinquished his duties as a priest while and investigation is underway regarding accusations of abuse from over 26 years ago. Needless to say, we’re all SHOCKED and are having a really hard time believing this news.
This is really hard for me, because this is the priest both my family and my fiance’s family has known and loved for years. As a military brat, who moved quite frequently from parish to parish and priest to priest, this was the first priest that made me feel part of the community, the first priest I truly loved and the first priest who really made me want to be catholic. We felt connected to him in so many ways. That may sound shallow, but he was the one that connected the dots for me. One thing that really meant a lot to me in this wedding planning process was that the person who married us was someone we knew, loved and felt very connected to spiritually.
We’ve pretty much been told, that even if thes allegations turn out to be false, that the harm done to his reputation would most likely be enough to keep him from returning as our parish priest at all and would end up retiring. So pretty much – we have to find someone else.
My fiance is VERY catholic and believes we should be married by a priest and have a catholic ceremony and make sure our marriage is recognized by the church. I don’t have those strong beliefs on the specifics, but since it is so important to my fiance- I want to honor his wishes. Here is where it gets messy… While we agreed to have A catholic ceremong to have our marriage “recognized” by the church our wedding venue is not a catholic church, nor a chruch at all, but outside at a location far away from our church. Our priest agreed to marry us if we held a small service (immediate family only) in the parish as our “official catholic recognized service” and then he would perform our civil ceremony at our wedding venue. So basically two weddings – the wedding we’ve been planning and a catholic recognized service- a fair compromise for me and the Fiance.
With this recent news about his removal I’m really worried how we will find a priest we really like and feel connected to who A) is available on such a popular date (SUNDAY, 10/10/10), B) will marry us though we belong to another parish c) will agree to do our outdoor ceremony.
I just hope that given the circumstances and the fact that it will take some time to have a new designated priest (we will have rotations of various priests for awhile), that priests from other parish’s will be understanding of our situatiion. I guess my mind is just going a mile a minute right now with this sad news.
Any constructive advice would be helpful during this crappy, crappy time. Thanks Hive.