Post # 17
Honestly, your sister sounds like she is being an idiot. I’d enroll my child in the best school I could, regardless of the race of the majority of students there.
Personally, it sounds like you are doing a great job as a parents and your sister needs to keep her opinions to herself.
Post # 18
It’s sad that she’s viewing this as a race thing when it’s really about education. No one can ever take away your education, doesn’t matter if you’re black, white, green, if you’re a well rounded and educated person you can get along with anyone and you’ll get farther in life.
Post # 19
According to academics, African American Vernacular English (AAVE) is an actual language, which is the way many black people talk. It follows grammatical rules, and has all the aspects of a language, but is still considered lesser by the majority of Americans. If you and your family speak standard English (which is like saying “proper” English) then your sister may consider that to be white, since it’s not the way many black people, especially those in cities, speak.
Post # 20
he is a VERY happy, energetic, cuddly little boy. And he loves all kids… (excpet girls they have cooties lol). we did ask him if wanted to hang out the other little boys out side of summer camp and he said yes. I will be waiting for the parents of the other boys after camp to morrow to see if we can set up a play date. I’m sure if they live near by they are dealing with the same thing we are.
Post # 21
very nicely said! wish there was a like button.
Post # 22
So to that, her sister is probably saying that they aren’t sharing a commonality that she finds super important. It would be the equivalent of suddenly speaking cajun when visiting one’s folks in NOLA, right?
Post # 23
we are very aware of that. My husband and I were talking about this last night. When we are around or friends who are NOT AA we tend to talk more proper.. but when we are around our family we talk with more slang. I wonder if my son catches this. He talks the same way all the time, it is all he knows.
Post # 24
I think you’re doing just fine! I agree with PPs that your sister is perpetuating a negative stereotype by talking the way she does about your son. People of ALL races should value education and proper behavior – it doesn’t ever have to be a racial thing to raise a child well. You’ve looked beyond racial lines to simply put your son in the best educational environment that you can, and I think that’s the right thing for any parent to do.
Cultural ties are very important, but it sounds like your son is learning his historic cultural ties with his family and his church AND developing new, expanding cultural ties with his friends at school and camp. It sounds like you have your head on straight and your son has a well-rounded exposure to the world.
Post # 26
Eh he is still super young too. If he wants to talk slang, that will be his choice. You’re doing just fine, mama.
Post # 27
Thank you. As a parent you always wonder if you are doing enough. We are shaping future presidents ya know
Post # 28
I think your sister is feeling like your son doing well in school and being educated and enjoyable highlights her short comings. I have had the same treatment for different reasons. Just remember that the proof truly will be in the pudding. When your child is an accountant and her children are, well…not, she will have no choice but to admit that your way worked better.
Post # 29
Kudos to you for providing your child with a quality education. Is it even possible to be “too proper” or “too educated?”
You are giving him the tools he will need for the future. “Fitting in” isn’t just about fitting in with your own race…it’s about relating to all races and cultures in this diverse world. (and that goes both ways)
I also agree that your sister is a little envious and worried about her own kids.
I attended a private school and a public school. If I could afford to send my child to private school I would. 100%!!!
Post # 30
Like PPs said, it sounds like your sister has her own issues and that you’re doing a great job.
I’m white, as are my parents, but my little brother, who was adopted, is latino. We grew up in Minnesota, where blindingly pale skin, blonde hair, and blue eyes are the standard. He was the only latino kid at our school, and he rarely met any other latino kids anywhere other than at events sponsored by the adoption agency we went through. We moved to Texas when he was eight, and suddenly he saw lots of latino kids all the time… and pretty much nothing changed. His main crowd of friends was a great mix of white, black, Asian, and latino kids.
Really, his differences just made for a great teaching tool. We were able to show him the similarities between people no matter their skin color and other superficial differences.
Post # 31
I am so happy that you are giving your son a great education and emphasizing “proper” English. I hope that he will grow up to be a bright, articulate young man someday, and you will have yourself and your husband to thank for that.
I think maybe your sister views your son’s language and education as a slight against AA culture? I volunteer with public city schools that are mainly 95% AA population to teach kids about medication safety, and it makes me sad sometimes to hear how the kids and teachers speak to one another. I get that every culture has slang, colloquialisms, etc. And that is FINE, but in education, you need to teach so that the kid gets a grasp on the language and is able to read, write, and express themselves to EVERYBODY they meet, even if they are outside their culture.
So yeah, keep on doing what you’re doing. Being “black” or “white” has nothing to do with needing to value education.
And just an aside: I went to K-12 in a school district that was 95% white, and probably about 4% Asian/Southeast Asian, 1% AA. Nobody got treated differently because of their race or skin color.