(Closed) Our son isn’t Black enough???

posted 8 years ago in Parenting
Post # 47
Member
5658 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

There’s such a thing as “too” proper and educated??? And seriously it sounds like he relates fine, why does he need to relate to gang bangers and drug dealers!

Post # 48
Member
1434 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2019 - City, State

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@peachacid:  you are 100% right in what you say. I went through that going to all white schools. They TRIED to make me out to be not as smart and tried to put me in special classes, my siblings, too, but my mom would not allow it.

Post # 49
Member
1434 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2019 - City, State

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@MrsStrawberry24:  There is no such thing as talking white. There is a such thing as a language. It’s called English. I think people need to use it correctly. I do not think anyone should dummy down their use of a language just to “get along.” If u do it because it’s a comfortable thing to do around friends, that’s fine, but a more intelligent person knows both “ways of speaking,” and when each is appropriate. I do not use tight English all the time when I speak, and sometimes, I curse. But uneducated people, no matter the race, cannot choose when to use what kind of dialect. I got so angry whe I first heard about “ebonics.” I hope that died out. that was ridiculous.

Post # 50
Member
1281 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

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@honeybee1999:  “In the same token, you need to keep him away from degenerate white kids, too, cause they do crazy things like huff on air conditioners.”  OMG I’m friggin crying over here from laughter. 

 

 

Post # 51
Member
438 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

So I didn’t really read through all the responses, but I thought I’d throw my 2 cents in. I know it’s not exactly the same situation, but I was the only Jewish kid in a small, rural, very Christian town. Was it weird sometimes? Sure. Was I (very rarely) occasionally singled out for being different? Yes. But way more often, my classmates were genuinely just interested in the things that made me different, and by far I was overall simply proud of my heritage, regardless of whether or not other kids in town shared it with me. I’m not sure I’m going to phrase this well, but basically, there will be places in the world where your child is in a minority (and honestly, this can happen no matter what your skin color, religion, gender, sexual orientation), and I think the important thing isn’t to make your child feel like they have to be part of a majority, but feel like they can be proud of who they are no matter where they are, whether they’re currently in a “majority” or “minority” situation. Having your children only be around others like them is sheltering them in my opinion, because eventually someday they WILL be in a situation where they are the minority, and they should be comfortable with who they are no matter where they are.

Post # 52
Member
1351 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

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@rubybride718:  I laughed at this too bc I actually remember kids doing this!! 

Post # 53
Member
1281 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

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@MrsPom:  Me too!  All the kids at my high school (primarially white, including myself) used to huff AC’s, drink robotussin and do whip-its. 

Post # 54
Member
1351 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

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@rubybride718:  I’m also white and yes it was the white kids!! Actually I went to two different high schools one primarily white and one primarily black. When I was at the black one the worst drug I ever saw was weed, when I moved to the primarily white one cocaine was as common at parties as beer!! Crazy!!

Post # 55
Member
3450 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

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@Mrs.Elivs:   There is no single definition of what it means to be black (or any other race).

So true.  I am white and grew up in an area of a city with mostly black, hispanic and asian people. I would go so far to say in that neighborhood, I was in the minority.  I cannot imagine someone telling me I’m not “white” enough, just because of where I was raised.  As my Fiance has said, my skin color is translucent.  I’m definitely white.

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@HeMadeMeWantTo:  I really hate when someone gets called “white” just because they speak properly. Not only is it insulting to the speaker, but also implies a great deal of superiority to white people. Obviously white people are not the only ones who can speak properly and anyone who believes that is so ignorant that their opinions should receive no attention whatsoever.

I agree 100%.  White people are not superior and not every white person speaks with “proper” English.  Anyone who believes that should give my mother a call, because she’s white and her English is terrible.

Post # 57
Member
3450 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

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@MrsPom: This reminded me of when Chris Rock said white kids are crazy at one of his shows.  I found the video.  It’s not safe for work or kids.  Funny though.

 

Post # 58
Member
1220 posts
Bumble bee

I can relate. my area is majority white middle class. All the black people that I met along the way came in from the inner city and would always make fun of me for talking proper. I’ve even been called an oreo…by my OWN people. Used to bother me, not so much. All those people that made fun of me had kids while still in high school and are doing nothing with their lives…I, on the other hand have a bachelors, work full time and am working on my masters. Unfortunately, that hood mentality is so hard to break…

What is surprising is that you’re having this issue with a memeber of your own family! How did you two turn out so differently? 

Post # 59
Member
448 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

I’m AA and was raised in predominantly white neighborhood/schools. My parents wanted to send me to the best schools possible and the fact that I was in the minority was a side effect. I went to camp when I was 11 and had some girls tell me that I “talked white” and was “a white girl trapped in a black girl’s body.” When I was younger, it hurt, but as I got older I learned to let the comments roll off of my back. People, even kids, can be mean. At the end of the day, I have a great education, and I can speak properly. I’m happy and can make friends with anyone–regardless of race. Don’t let the naysayers get to you, YOU have it right! 🙂

Post # 60
Member
1130 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

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@MrsStrawberry24:  Maybe, but hopefully it won’t bother him so much because he has wonderful parents who care about him. He’ll also be well educated and most likely surrounding himself with people who don’t think like that. You sound like you’re setting him on his way to do just that.

Post # 61
Member
466 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

I used to be this child. People thought I talked “too white” and “too proper”. My mom made the choice to send me to the best public school there was even though we basically lived in the hood. She sent me roughly about an hour away (via schoolbus) to school. I loved it even though there were not many black kids who went there. I told my mom about the comments that kids made. She told me never to worry about being too proper or when people say that I talk too white to be black…she said they will all be mad when my properness makes me “too much money” or that im just “too successful” in life because I know how to talk to people.

 

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