(Closed) Our son isn’t Black enough???

posted 8 years ago in Parenting
Post # 92
Member
5282 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2009

I can’t stand that phrase “acting white” or all the other “nicknames” for black & hispanics that have popped up over the years for those who “act white.”

I am Mexican and my whole life have heard the “you act white” or “your the whitest Mexican I know” so even at 28, when someone tells me that I innocently ask “how does a white person act” and usually the question throws everyone off gaurd and creates an awkward moment, which leads to the end of the conversation.

Post # 93
Member
7938 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

This reminds me of when one of my best girlfriends had her baby.  She is AA and decided to name her baby Ava.  Some of her AA friends gave her shit because they said Ava was “a white name and not black enough”.  My friend was was like “Im not naming my baby Shaniqua or Sha-ne-ne and suddenly we are not black enough?”  People are dumb.

Post # 95
Member
2825 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

I think as long as your son isn’t being bullied for being the minority (whether it’s race, the way he dresses, his favorite color or the kind of music he likes) then I think it’s fine… I think her problem is that your son is more privileged and he might feel guilty for not being able to provide that for her kids (whether it’s financially or just mentally).  It seems like ya’ll are really grounded upper/middle class citizens, and you seem like you are going what is best for your child… Don’t let anyone make you feel bad for that.

And no one has to stick to racial stereotypes!  I have a few white friends who can rap their butts off and live in the crappier part of town and I have some really well educated, polite and driven AA friends…

Post # 97
Member
530 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

God forbid your child speaks proper English! It shouldnt be about acting black or white or green or purple, it should be about education, manners, and being an all around good person.  I agree with others that your sister is the problem.

I sit next to a black girl at my job, who grew up similarly to your son, and guess what she is married has a wonderful husband, son, and family.  She’s educated, very intelligent, and witty.  In fact all of my black friends that “act white” have better jobs and lives than the ones who “act black” (whatever that means).  

My fiance is black and I am a mutt (asian/middle eastern/white) and I cant stand ignorant racial classifications!!!! That’s what fuels racism in my opinion.  Anyway good luck with your sister, she sounds like a piece of work, sorry to be harsh, but things like this frustrate me. 

Post # 98
Member
1331 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2012

I am AA, and I was raised in a family that valued education and made us speak English properly. When I was a kid, other AA people asked my parents if we were British because we spoke well. Through high school, other AA students made fun of me, and called me white, because I have long hair, and spoke properly. It was hard sometimes, but the alternative was to dumb myself down to fit their self-stereotype of what a black person should be. No thanks.

Perfectly happy and well-adjusted. Just keep doing what you’re doing.

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