- 10 years ago
- Wedding: August 2010
So how I met him and how I fell in love…
Stupid ex breaks up with me, after dragging my emotions around.
Me = stupid love I hate love
Him = meets me, treats me with respect
Me = can’t love can’t love
Him = still treats me well
Me = realizes she’s fooling herself, falls for him
And lives happily ever after.
Well, I’ll try to get all the good points in without boring you:
Okay, so a few months before I met him, my ex broke up with me, and I was totally in love with him and he broke my heart, toyed with me (stuff like saying he’ll want me back again but he wants time, and pretending to be single in his online profiles when we were together, not visiting me at all when we were long distance for the last five months or so, not returning my calls until days afterwards, not answering when I call, etc – but then when he does call a few days later he’s all loveydovey and pretends that nothing happened, so I was completely confused because of that)
So anyway, after he broke up with me I was really bitter and anti-love and such so while I dated around, I didn’t look for anything serious and told them I didn’t want a relationship, but in reality I was pretty much really hurt inside and just wanted to mend the pain by pretending I didn’t care.
So I went through a couple of months of above, just using boys as they were using me, until one evening in spring 2004 I got a message in my okcupid box. I didn’t meet anyone form that site yet because most people who messaged me on there were, well, weird or annoying. But this guy seemed pretty nice, and since well, I was bored that night with nothing better to do, we decided to meet, because we realized we lived only blocks from each other.
So we met at a wing restaurant, of all places lol. We always laugh about how that was our first date. And technically, we saw each other in the alleyway right next to the wing restaurant, so we like joke about how we met in an alleyway, lol. Anyway, so we just ate and talked a bit, seemed like a nice guy but I was still anti-love so I didn’t really push anything, and then we walked back to my place and just talked. It was nice to not have the pressure of knowing if someone wants to have a date with you, in reality he just has other intentions. But he was almost shy in our first date, he didn’t really date before and wasn’t very confident in front of girls, and also, he was a virgin.
After that first date, we would hang out more and more in the next few weeks, mainly as friends, because, well, I didn’t want more than just friends. And I just realized how much we had in common, how I didn’t feel pressured into doing anything I didn’t want, and how much fun and just how comfortable I was with him. We did everything together, went to restaurants, parks, etc. He walked me to class, he waited for me after class, he cooked me food, we watched movies in his bedroom together, helped me with homework, just treated me the way I though would never happen.
And this is the great irony of it: During those weeks, I knew I was falling for him, but I didn’t want to get hurt again, so I was telling myself to "not fall for him, don’t fall for him" and I was also telling him to not fall for me as well. And finally after a month of this, I finally realized I was lying to myself, and I wrote out my feelings in a letter and gave it to him. And of course, he already knew, and he had already fallen in love with me, but he was just waiting for me to stop lying to myself.
Pretty much right after my confession, he had to trasnfer to another college. That was one of the reasons why I didn’t want to fall because it would be long distance, and long distance wrecked my relationship with my ex (when we were in short distance our relationship was better). So we weren’t sure if we would last, because the distance was longer (660 miles – aka about 9-10 hours driving). But he came to visit me every month or so or when he can, and finally, after a year and half of long distance, we finally moved in together to an apartment. That was in December 2005.
And after that, it’s just bliss.
Happily ever after 🙂